Noisy next door neighbours late at night

[Doyoulikedebt]

We live in a semi next door to a couple with a pre teen DS who seem to come alive in the evening. During the day we very rarely hear much from them, aside from their Alexa which is set to a ridiculous volume, but once it hits 8pm they seem to create as much noise as possible. It's mainly the woman & her DS, they like to play music loudly, ask Alexa how to spell words or silly questions. The woman tends to have loud conversations on the phone & sneeze at a high volume!? I can hear exactly whereabouts she is in the house with the slamming of doors or even the closing of curtains. I get that our connecting walls must be very thin in order to hear that last one! But since lockdown the volume has gotten louder & louder & this past week she's been putting him to bed by chasing him up the stairs with screaming & giggling. This is usually around 22:45 - 23:00 & always wakes us up! The DS seems to act rather babyish & does this high pitched giggling with carries through the walls. They then spend around 10 minutes messing around upstairs before shouting "night" to one another, then she moves into their bedroom, I can tell where they are with how heavy footed they walk, & then talks to her husband in a loud voice whilst banging wardrobe doors. The past few nights have woken my children with how noisy they have been. I've asked before if they can hear our side & she has reassured me that they never hear anything but we can hear everything from their side. Once our kids go to bed though we are very quiet. When we first moved in we discovered the husband snored at such a volume we've had to sleep with white noise on to drown him out!! We understand there's not much that can be done about that but aibu to expect them to not squeal & giggle at 11pm at night?
We are unsure whether to attempt to soundproof, risky if we spend £££ to still hear them or just move! I think when the DS starts secondary school later this year he isn't going to be interested in his Mum chasing him around the house but as it seems that she makes the majority of the noise it's not going to stop anytime soon.

[toffeebutterpopcorn]

Have you tried to give them a taste of their own medicine - not in a nasty way but just to illustrate the sound?

[FenceSplinters]

Yeah, I second making some noise back at them.

[Doyoulikedebt]

It's soooo tempting! But as they create noise later in the evening in order for me to make a point I could risk waking my own children. I'm not entirely sure they would understand I'm doing back either! I really just want to bang on the wall but worried about making it awkward when I see them next.

[Hotcuppatea]

It sounds like poor build quality if you can hear sneezing and snoring from next door. Do you own or rent?

[NoGoodPunsLeft]

I'd try banging on the wall, if they genuinely don't realise how noisy they are it might make them think about being a bit quieter. However, if they are dicks and just carry on or get worse I'd move to a detached house which is what we did!

[toffeebutterpopcorn]

Maybe ask one to pop over (masked up) to have a listen? I had a neighbour who moved her living room to the bedroom so she was right under our bed.

Sadly she was nocturnal and used to spend a lot of the night on the phone talking (screaming but not arguing) loudly.

I was taking an early flight one morning (I used to have to go to meetings abroad so caught the first flight out) so I put my radio on the floor and switched it on - and popped a bowl over it (I assumed it would make a nice acoustic sound). Popped the radio on timer and went off for my meeting.

I could never get the woman above to shut up though. It sounded like she was dragging a battleship chain around the flat and dropping a piano... She also used to forget to turn off the bath once in a while and flood the place out.

Neighbours, eh?

[AcornAutumn]

Talk to them?

I had this in a rented flat. When I talked to the couple, they were annoyed.

Then I quoted something I'd heard them discuss. They put rugs down after that 😂

[Doyoulikedebt]

We own the house but are seriously considering moving with this being a factor as to why. Detached is what we are looking at but not much about in our area at the moment. We can hear them cough but she exaggerates her sneezing so it's heard even over the top of our TV!

[Cactus1982]

To be honest this sounds like normal neighbourly noise and I’m not sure there’s much you can do about it other than move. They are just living their lives by the sounds of it. Did you grow up in a detached house by any chance? As in my experience people who did have an unreasonable expectation of what is normal.

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

once had really noisy neighbours - loud music and TV (well, more than once, bur a particular instance) I set the alarm of my clock radio to go off next to their wall and went to the garden.
She called me to say there was an alarm going off in my flat - 'yes, it drowns out the noise from next door'. Felt a bit guilty as rather passive.aggressive, but it worked!

[HeartZone]

But as they create noise later in the evening in order for me to make a point I could risk waking my own children

But you’d make your noise early in the morning 😉

[Doyoulikedebt]

@Cactus1982 - I did & this is why I'm wondering if it's just me expecting a little consideration late at night. Whenever it reaches a certain time at night I automatically talk quieter almost acknowledging the time of day that is it but they do the opposite. I'm not sure chasing around the house at 11pm whilst squealing & giggling is "normal", however. But suppose each family is different. My DH grew up in a terraced house in London & never heard this amount of noise so it must just be the build of the house. I can quote her arguments with her husband & should probably reassure her that when I hear her say "nobody listens to me" that I do! I have no choice.

[Ilovelove]

Don't bang on the wall.
Banging on the wall is a passive aggressive arse move.
You need to talk to them about it.

I live in a semi and it is really tough having someone else's noise imposed on you.

[AcornAutumn]

@Doyoulikedebt

We own the house but are seriously considering moving with this being a factor as to why. Detached is what we are looking at but not much about in our area at the moment. We can hear them cough but she exaggerates her sneezing so it's heard even over the top of our TV!

Soundproofing would be cheaper?

[Cactus1982]

Having grown up in a Victorian terrace I have a ridiculously heigh tolerance for neighbourly noise. We used to be able to hear our neighbours TV when standing in the downstairs hall as it was right against the wall. So this stuff doesn’t even sound particularly bad to me. It also sounds like you all go to bed really early, which isn’t actually their fault either.

[Tabitha005]

This is a really good argument for having floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall bookshelves absolutely rammed with books. When I lived in a Victorian terraced house with zero soundproofing, this worked a treat (I did already have a lot of books, though, I didn't go out to charity shops and buy up all the Barbra Cartlands in a five mile radius).

[Cottonheadedninymuggins]

I feel your pain, we've had the same neighbours for 25 years and for 22 years we got on fab. Then her husband died and she took in a boyfriend who is an awful awful person and takes pleasure in his music being up loud and making stupid noises (literally noise, not shouting or words) or banging on the walls in living room and bedrooms at late hours to wake us when we had managed to get to sleep.we tried to talk to the neighbour and we have reported to the police. Due to corona its still in the complaint stage and they've not took it further.

The council are being useless because the woman seems to ignore messages, voicemail and emails and then messages when it's all gone quiet and says "ah it's been quiet for a fortnight. .. We won't be able to do anything right now."

Yep. It was quiet for that fortnight because she finally threw him out telling him he made her not want to come home and that she was fed up of the arguments.... He was away a week then started coming baxk during the day.... And now he's back full time and up to his old tricks and has ruined what was an amazing 22 year neighbourly relationship.

We can't move as I'm mums carer and the money just isn't there. I long to live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbours.

Next time she says that noone listens to her, reply firmly and loudly "we do..." she might get your point then 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Dentistlakes]

Noisy people are often noisy because they genuinely don’t give a shit about others around them. We have neighbours who thought it was acceptable to let their dog out at 2am to bark for over 20 minutes. I soon went round and put them right. Tell them bluntly that their noise is disturbing you and that good neighbourly relations will not remain so unless they have some consideration. It cuts both ways.

[CausingChaos2]

Don’t bang on the wall. It’s rude and a sure way to annoy them. Go and knock the door, most reasonable people wouldn’t want to disturb their neighbours and would tone it down. If she has commented that they never hear you then they may be genuinely unaware how much you can hear them.

[FireflyRainbow]

I have an elderly lady in her 80s next door who lives on her own. I literally hear her wee the walls are so thin. She must hate my family my boys walk like elephants and have been staying up late and we also do the whole 'goodnight' thing. Maybe I should apologise to her 😆🙈

[Cipot]

I think you need a bit of give and take in a semi. Dh sneezes loudly and shouts because he's deaf. But our ndn's DC scream at all hours. We can smell their cigarettes whilst we are in bed at night. There's no point getting ratty about it. You probably annoy them too. I am wondering if you're my ndn actually. Although I don't have a dh to chase and am decidely lifeless after 9pm. I'm forever telling dh to quieten down though.

[HedgeSparrows]

It you move you should tell the person buying your house about the noise problem. It would be very unkind not to - they will be in the same position you are now.

[StoneofDestiny]

Tell them.
If it doesn't stop record the noise and let the. Hear it for themselves.

[Doyoulikedebt]

Thanks for all the replies. I do really like our neighbours & would hate to cause any bad feeling just with the issue of noise. If I highlight how much I can hear I'm not sure how that would go down with them. I'm aware that day to day living can be heard by being in a semi next to a family & after reading posts on here I know hearing them giggling is much better than arguing or shouting (although when teenage years arrive that could change!) but as I spend all evening hearing everything I just would like time to get to sleep without feeling I'm part of their bedtime routine. We are fortunate with them as neighbours regarding everything else so there had to be something I suppose!

[SuperSleepyBaby]

We got good sound proofing and we can’t hear anything from next door now.