AIBU to expect him to pull his weight during annual leave

[Happybutexhausted]

Husband is a Teacher and has all the usual long holidays each year. I’m in another profession and only get 25 days leave.

AIBU unreasonable to expect him during the holidays to do all the jobs I would usually somehow squeeze in whilst working full time. He still gets the majority of the day to himself but I can actually sit and enjoy a lunch break rather than doing house admin or chores.

I’m not sure if I’m being too harsh on him and should be carrying on as normal or not? He chose his career path and I chose mine so appreciate the need to respect the different benefits of each so happy to be told I’m BU.

I was a teacher. I always did more in the holidays.

"Can you get the laundry done and the bed changed so we can watch LOD together tonight?" Suppose breakfast dishes are normally your job - if he is at home he should surely pick that up. Not a full list of stuff every day, but after a few days of zonking out surely he'd want to do the odd task? (Also a teacher)

I think reasonable to expect more. Perhaps the kind of household tasks that are not every day throughout the year.

@Cherrysoup
Surely you can see that's not a fair division?It seems a very traditional set up even though you both work.

Yes of course he should be doing more. Otherwise he's just chilling?

@peak2021

I think reasonable to expect more. Perhaps the kind of household tasks that are not every day throughout the year.

I think it's reasonable to expect more but of a lower standard.

My husband has just had two weeks off between jobs, and I've found it pretty annoying on the days I've been snowed under with work and he's painted the shed, but not done the washing up or made dinner or the laundry or something.

My approach to household tasks is to do them to a low, acceptable standard. E.g. Beans on toast made without fuss and cleaned up afterwards is 100% better than a slap up meal with the dishes left in the sink.

Ah, this is tough, because all of the teachers I know need some proper rest in those holidays.

But, there's stuff that needs doing. I'd be a bit out out if my dh had a week off work and didn't do anything extra. I don't mean deep clean the whole house or anything, but just some of the stuff that keeps things ticking over.

Apart from the fact I'd feel dreadful if I'd had a week off work that my dh hadn't and he came in from work and there was everything still to do.

Him doing half during term time and 90% during holidays is very not fair
I disagree, he has way more holidays than OP so only fair that a small part of his holidays are spent doing household chores. His «extra» time off means he earns less than a non-term time equivalent job I assume, so in a sense I would see him doing more chores a way to balance out the fact that OP is working (earning!) on the same day.

Would you be doing his tasks if you took annual leave and he was working? I'll bet the answer is no.....

Of course the reality is probably more of a balance, which is probably one of the reasons why teachers often end up with teachers.

Teachers dont get annual leave, holiday is their Annual leave.

of course he should.

Hr has all day free, why wouldn't he want to make your day easier and gice you more time together after work?

You will both feel more rested and enjoy more quality time together.

@Fortunefavours1 if I’m on holiday, I think it’s fair that I do most stuff, otherwise what shall I do all day? Watch tv and my dh makes tea and walks the dogs when he gets home, having got up at 5.30am? He cooks most days when I work. Today, I’ve cooked, walked the dogs, been shopping and done the horse. My dh has come home and heated up the meal I made and fed the dogs. I think that’s fair. Tomorrow will be similar and at the weekend, we’ll do stuff together.

"What shall I do all day?"
Presumably he has hobbies and interests he would like to pursue, books to read and films to watch and runs to go on and all the other stuff people like to do when on holiday, but not actually away.
Of course he can also do housework, but he won't exactly be sat twiddling his thumbs when the housework is done.

YANBU, I'm not a teacher but if on annual leave I'll do a few more chores as well as chilling out, be a bit daft to not walk dog/empty dishwasher or bin or whatever because of waiting for OH to finish work. I'll usually plan to do some of the jobs you don't get round to as well. I'd be a bit put out if my OH had loads of time /no plans and a few jobs to do and didn't lift a finger!

I disagree, he has way more holidays than OP so only fair that a small part of his holidays are spent doing household chores. His «extra» time off means he earns less than a non-term time equivalent job I assume, so in a sense I would see him doing more chores a way to balance out the fact that OP is working (earning!) on the same day.

Oh absolutely. Bloody teachers freeloading off the rest of the hardworking population. Lazy bastards.

“Not so I can have an easy life but so that we can have more time together when I’m not in work.”

My husband is a teacher and he does this so we can spend more time together. Perfectly reasonable to suggest he does more