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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH and I are tall and dared to go to the theatre.

411 replies

MangoSeason · 08/04/2021 08:48

I’m 6 ft 1. My DH is 6 ft 4 and very broad. We went to see Hamilton at the Sydney Lyric Theatre yesterday and were subjected to a tirade of passive aggressive invective by the lady sitting behind us, for the whole show. The Lyric Theatre has very roomy seating, but a very low incline. This is beyond our control. We were not trying to thwart the woman! We were very close to the stage and everyone has to look up here anyway. I don’t think she missed as much as she wanted to make everyone around you believe. The lady behind me offered to swap with her but she loudly announced that “she is just as bad”. Sorry for my tall self exiting in your world.

I mean I do get it. It would be frustrating to be seated behind a couple like us. However, I’ve been at shows that I have looked forward to for years and have dealt with unexpected issues- the man with the very loud vocal tics two seats down, the lady who had to go to the toilet 6 times in a show. It is frustrating but I don’t carry on like a pork chop and I certainly don’t direct any invective towards the person for issues beyond their control. I may privately sigh or have a whinge afterwards but that’s it. DH and I can’t shrink!

We are both used to the under breath FFSs when we sit at shows. We really try to avoid sitting in front of people if we can. But at a sold out show with allocated seating, we are not doing it to upset you. We weren’t wearing hats, wearing scarves or big collars or high hair styles. We were simply existing, sitting quietly within our allocated seats. It was a matinee show with dozens of pre-teen kids around us. They would have had the same issue as the woman and none of them were carrying on at all. They were just enthralled, like everyone else.

Fully prepared to be massacred by the shorter people now!

OP posts:
Francienolan · 08/04/2021 09:43

Their noise sounds more annoying than anything.

This is a huge problem in theatres in Britain, the rake of the audience in the stalls isn't graduated enough, and usually the seats aren't staggered so you aren't right behind someone. I never had this issue in NY and in London and regional theatres it is a huge issue. So annoying. Theatre designers must not actually attend the theatre that much!

ancientgran · 08/04/2021 09:43

The moaning isn't necessary but if I paid alot for theatre tickets (and they tend to be expensive) I think I would complain but to the theatre not you.

I booked tickets for a special sports thing for my kids and they had double sold the tickets, other family raging and demanding we move so I let them have the seats then I complained and we ended up sitting with the players families and given souvenirs and got photos of the kids with the players. Best mix up ever and I bet the other family wished they hadn't demanded our seats.

So my advice is don't get upset and let the venue sort it.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 08/04/2021 09:44

@emilyfrost

I do think given that tall people know they cause others a lot of problems, they should be considerate and sit at the back.
😂😂😂 are you serious? So they should never get decent seats. I'm 6ft and 🤷🏽‍♀️
ParadiseIsland · 08/04/2021 09:44

@emilyfrost

I do think given that tall people know they cause others a lot of problems, they should be considerate and sit at the back.
That’s assuming there is a choice and. The seats at the back aren’t 10x more expensive!!
lottiegarbanzo · 08/04/2021 09:45

Theatres usually have booster seats for children. You could suggest that next time?

justlonelystars · 08/04/2021 09:45

I’m short so understand the lady’s frustration but also understand there’s nothing you can do (my husband is very tall and suffers similar issues with tutting and huffing coming from behind him). I often roll up my coat to sit on as a makeshift booster seat haha.
Worst show I ever went to though was an evening ballet production where someone behind me had decided to bring along a restless three year old (proper ballers aren’t meant for kids). Said kid kicked me in the head whilst clambering all over the seats three times and I snapped at the woman to keep an eye on her child who proceeded to yell at me for being a bitch Grin

PeggyHill · 08/04/2021 09:47

I had no idea that unusually tall people get subjected to that. How awful.

You should carry a very tall hat which folds up and fits in your bag. You could whip it out and put it on for occasions like this.

TheOrigRights · 08/04/2021 09:48

YABU for being able to go to the theatre and to have seen Hamilton.

I might just carry on like a pork chop.

Rege · 08/04/2021 09:48

@OP I’m it getting the association between having the annoying woman and pork chop. We eat pork chops a lot in a our house so could you please explain further Grin

Rege · 08/04/2021 09:49

‘Not getting’

nokidshere · 08/04/2021 09:49

I reckon everyone should give their heights when booking tickets and then seats can be allocated accordingly, with all us shorties at the front

I'm 5ft3 and DH is 6ft7 so we would never be able to sit together!

We book early to get better seats because they are the only ones that have enough legroom for DH. Unfortunately for shorter people the better seats are usually nearer the front too.

Original poster
MangoSeason · 08/04/2021 09:49

@TheOrigRights

YABU for being able to go to the theatre and to have seen Hamilton.

I might just carry on like a pork chop.

🙂 I swear this wasn’t a stealth boast!
OP posts:
EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 08/04/2021 09:49

I normally try to get an aisle seat / front seat in the circle to avoid the problem.

And I have no objections whatsoever to tall people, the advantages & disadvantages all balance out as far as I’m concerned. I have never not had enough legroom and rarely have to mind my head Grin

Doilooklikeatourist · 08/04/2021 09:51

@Livnatmum

Stupid woman should think herself lucky she can go to the theatre AT ALL!
Exactly ! We saw Hamilton in London a few years ago , just so delighted to see it ( and not understand what was going on most of the time ) someone could have been sat in front of me dressed for Ascot and I wouldn’t have minded , Interesting though that an audience member did get removed by theatre staff at interval for incessant talking ( and she had a pork chop as she was escorted from the premises ) I’m so going to use the expression pork chop for a tantrum from now on
TheOrigRights · 08/04/2021 09:51

🙂 I swear this wasn’t a stealth boast!

Grin It's OK, I've got tickets for Les Miserable (staged concert) in June.
Third time lucky!

BreatheAndFocus · 08/04/2021 09:52

It was very rude of them to talk about you in such a passive aggressive way, but it is annoying when your view is blocked.

I once went to a small music gig of relaxed type music. We were all standing and this man about 7ft came and stood in front of me. He could easily have stood further back or at the side and seen perfectly. But no - he thoughtlessly stood in front of me. He even glanced back when he heard me fidgeting about trying to see past him, but he didn’t move.

It wasn’t his height that annoyed me as much as his attitude. He made zero effort to think about anyone else. I don’t understand it. If I was his height, I’d have happily stood at the side or back as I’d have been able to see perfectly well.

He was one of many, many occasions. Yes, it’s partly the fault of the venues, but if the people themselves can do a little to help it would be nice. Lots of tall people have BTW. They’ve moved seats, lounged down lower in their seats, sat to one side slightly so I have a gap to see through, etc. Even just shown some awareness of other people behind them.

And yes, the adults who sit in front of children, as mentioned above, are annoying and thoughtless.

sqirrelfriends · 08/04/2021 09:52

She was really rude. I'm short and struggle in some of the older theatres if I can't get my preferred seat at the front of the upper circle but I'd never say anything.

The only time I missed a lot of the show was where there was a woman (not particularly tall) who kept her elbow on the back of the seat and kind of draped her hair between her head and her hand so there was no space to look through. I swapped with DH during the interval and heard grumbles from behind us.

I would have said something to the woman instead of moving but she did it kind of aggressively and looked back at me as if to say "fuck you bitch" no idea why she took such an instant dislike to me.

Original poster
MangoSeason · 08/04/2021 09:52

[quote Rege]@OP I’m it getting the association between having the annoying woman and pork chop. We eat pork chops a lot in a our house so could you please explain further Grin[/quote]
When you cook a pork chop, it hisses and spits. If you carry on like a pork chop, you hiss and spit too!

OP posts:
DobbyTheHouseElk · 08/04/2021 09:53

I’d love to see a show. Sadly all our theatres are shut. So YABU to post this nonsense.

Ordinarily I’d be with you.

Moonwhite · 08/04/2021 09:56

OMG, I've had this experience. I'm 5'7", not over 6 feet, but I seem to always get a seat in front of some tiny bird-like woman. If someone says something politely I'll try to scoot down in my seat, but passive aggressive comments just bring out the exact same behaviour in me.

Goblin74 · 08/04/2021 09:57

Yanbu. I'm 5 ft 2 so have the problem of tall people sitting in front of me. Of course I get frustrated because I've paid money for a show I can't see but at the same time, it's not the tall people's fault either! I would never dream of complaining that like and being aggressive towards those in front. My husband (6 foot) will switch with me if that's the case and I'll try to find a good gap between the people 😆

That woman was just being a complete spanner

HeadNorth · 08/04/2021 09:57

At least you noticed - most tall people seem oblivious to their height. I am 5'1" and the number of times I have been standing at a concert with a reasonable view between heads for some huge hulk of a person to plonk themselves in from of me, seemingly oblivious to the fact I now can't see a thing.

I think if you are tall it must be so lovely to be able to see things all the time for the same price that I get crappy/no views. So you should show self awareness and consideration, at least.

poppycat10 · 08/04/2021 09:57

It's the fault of the theatre for not having the seating at a steep enough pitch. Not sure how modern the theatre is, but some of the ones in London are old and were built when people were shorter, so you could forgive them not planning for really tall people but the ones I've been to have been steep and I've not struggled to see. I agree the seats are tiny though and I am less than 5 foot 4!

Dentistlakes · 08/04/2021 09:58

YANBU, it’s not as if you can do anything about your height! I do find people who talk and eat throughout theatre performances annoying. They can stop their annoying behaviours, but you can’t make yourself shorter!

Moonwhite · 08/04/2021 09:58

My heart sinks when I see tall people approaching near to where I'm sitting. Because I know if they're in front of me it will be a struggle to see anything so I might as well have stayed at home and saved my money. And will end up with neck strain into the bargain.

If it's that much of a gamble for you, you need to let them know you are short when you book your seats so they can put you somewhere with an unimpeded view.