The F Word

[CrowBones]

Looking after a friend's 7 year old a few days ago (in an outdoor setting, rest assured!) and they casually told me that they heard mummy say the F word to Daddy the other day when she was shouting and crying at him.

AIBU not to say anything to my friend or should I let her know that her child is overhearing and repeating (presumably) private arguments?

Keep it to yourself. It's not a big deal,, either to say 'Fuck' or to have a row with your partner. The child hasn't done anything wrong.

I don't think the child has done anything wrong.

Call 101 and log it

If your friend posted on here they were having shouty sweary rows in front of their young child she’d be told to LTB for emotional abuse. So I understand why you’re asking.

By casually do you mean they didn’t seem upset by it? What did you say?

@SeasonFinale

Call 101 and log it

On it

@AnneLovesGilbert

If your friend posted on here they were having shouty sweary rows in front of their young child she’d be told to LTB for emotional abuse. So I understand why you’re asking.

By casually do you mean they didn’t seem upset by it? What did you say?

They didn't seem upset. Equally, the fact that they brought it up suggests to me that it left an impression.

I said that people often say things they don't mean or use strong language if they're upset or angry and it's good to talk about it afterwards when you're calmer.

It is normal to argue sometimes, of course it is, and to swear. I think the question is, do I let on that they're being overheard?

I know children often repeat things but Equally, the fact that they brought it up suggests to me that it left an impression.

This is the reason I'd say something to her, casually. To give her the chance to have a reassuring conversation with her daughter about that day, if she wants.

The fact the kid repeated it would suggest it's fairly unusual. Dh and me tried not to swear when our kids were v little, but we gave up. We do have big rows, which include swearing, now and again. We don't call each other names though.

The kids know not to swear, although as long as they do it appropriately, I'm not really concerned. They know the etymology of most swear words, which they found more interesting.

I wouldn't need someone to tell me what my kids had overheard.

I think I've only had one argument with DH that involved swearing but I would NOT be impressed (and very embarrassed) if a friend reported back that one of my DCs had overheard it. For you to mention it to her seems very, very judgemental, regardless of your real motives.

By tell her, I don't mean to chastise. Just repeat what daughter said in a lighthearted manner. It's up to her to do something or not about it.

I know I'd want to know but everyone is different so she may not want to know.

General consensus seems to be keep my gob shut - noted, thanks!