Feel so stupid for getting insecure like this

[Cadburys345]

My boyfriend always says how cute I am, in an endearing way. Which is nice of course. He says even if I'm annoyed then I'm still really cute.
I apparently look much younger than my age and I get told often that I'm sweet etc.

Once I was in Boots just asking a counter lady about mascara and she just went 'aww you're so cute bless you.'

This is nice, I guess I just want my boyfriend to also see me as sexy etc. Though I'm sure he does as he's chosen to be with me.

We don't have sex as often which I know happens often with being together as often, but it was still a few times a week.

Anyway one night we had both felt ill so didn't. It had still been a few days though. I tried one night and he didn't seem interested so just left it.
The next morning I tried but he didn't seem interested again so I asked if he wanted to. He said he did so we did and then he stopped, saying he 'couldnt'.
Anyway for some reason I got a bit upset and wondered if it was me, and asked him. He said no he just had a headache.
So I guess I feel stupid getting a bit upset over it. I mean I didn't make a big fuss or anything, it was just as he hadn't tried anything for a few days and had rejected me twice though had been out etc.
He always says I'm gorgeous etc. I guess I was just thinking of the whole cute thing and was a bit worried, but I should just learn to take it as a compliment.

Sorry if this thread sounds like I'm rambling on a bit, just annoyed that i take stuff personally sometimes.

You're picking up on something being "off" here. You don't like the way he sees you, you don't feel "seen" in the right way from him. Also him saying something like "you're so cute when you're angry" is really dismissive and belittling, what a knob. It's okay to leave if the chemistry isn't right.

I just want to be seen as sexy as well as a 'cute little lamb' as he calls me which is sweet but he never says the former.
It makes me feel like some sort of little girl rather than the 30 year old I am.

When we first got together there was certainly a lot more sexual chemistry but I suppose that's normal. I've tried making an effort by asking if there are certain things he likes, likes me to wear etc.
I take care of myself and my weight etc.

Then you should find someone else who sees you like that.

Saying you’re cute even when your angry is a way of saying you have no power and I don’t take you seriously.

He sounds like a patronising idiot. He’s using a particular word to undermine you - it must be absolutely crystal clear from your reaction that you don’t like being called cute.

I think this relationship is doing you no favours at all.

Yeah, plus I'm older than him.
I don't mind being called cute, it's nice, but puppies and kittens are cute, so are babies, I want to be seen as more than that, somebody who's sexually attracted to me.

Just worried I'm not very sexy or something which I know sounds stupid.

There’s two issue. One is you feeling that he’s turned down sex twice so might not be keen. You are only talking about this happening over a short period of time (a week?) so it’s not done thing I’d worry about just yet. However, I’d not try to initiate sex with him now. Leave him be and see if he feels like instigating it or not - then you’ll have your answer.

The other is the ‘cute’ thing. Personally, I think cuteness or prettiness can be sexy. Pamela Anderson, for example, had a little button nose and freckles and quite a young face at the same time she was in all the ‘sexiest women’ lists. If he’s annoying you by calling you this in serious arguments - not just silly ones where he’s trying to appease you - then tell him straight. If he does it again...you’ve got your answer.

*two issues

*something (ffs can’t type today)