To not understand why DS 1 (19) and DS 2 don’t chat to each

[Aperole]

my DS’s were so close when they were younger , now they just seem a bit indifferent to each other...

They will watch the footie together and stuff , but they never seem to have any chat / banter with each other ...

it really bothers me and i wish i could so something to make them closer again ,,,

but i know i do really need to get over it ...

aibu to think that they might get closer again when they’re a bit older ,,, ?

They're probably just happy the way they are, like an old married couple. Just because they don't talk much doesn't mean they don't care about each other.

I would say, leave them to it OP.

@Carbara

Having kids is for parents own self indulgence, people pretend they’re having another kid ‘for our child to have a sibling 😇’ but that’s nonsense, they’re just two more people out of 8 billion, with no reason to like each other, and that’s fine.

I agree.

I also suspect that when younger and no outside friends etc they just play together and it’s often mistaken for being closer than the relationship actually is.

I'm old but love my Dsis, 7 year age gap so didn't get on much when young but get on great now and have done through most of adulthood.

I haven't spoken to my sister since we left home. I could be civil if she bothered to attend a family gathering (but she is unlikely to which is fine). There's nothing you can do, they don't fight. I can't really see what more you expect from them. You can't pick who they are friends with and that includes each other.

I disliked my sister very much at that age. She was, quite frankly, an absolute bitch. But she grew up and mellowed out (in big part due to meeting her lovely husband) and now we are close and good friends (I still find her annoying and can't spend great amounts of time with her, but I do love her and we message most days etc)

I'm one of 5. None of us are close. No hate or anything, just not people we'd choose to be friends with.

Being family doesn't mean they get on. Siblings often actively loathe one another. I try to avoid my brother at all costs, to the extent of skipping a funeral if he is attending. (I might go to his, though. )

They might get closer when older, they might grow further apart. There's nothing you can do about it. There may well be a history between them you don't know about. With my brother, it's that he abused me. My parents don't know because they don't want to know. I did try to raise it once but they immediately shut the conversation down so I decided it's better to keep quiet.

They may be closer than you think- just not very demonstrative. But I was never close to my sibling and nowadays we barely engage. Just the very rare FB message on birthdays. I don't feel any loss although I knew it bothered my mum when she was alive

I love my siblings but I wouldn’t choose to be friends with them if we weren’t related. They were close when they were little, job done. They may well grow closer as they get older, or not, and either situation is fine.

I don’t really speak to my sisters. Not in a bad, we’ve fallen out and hate each other kind of way. But we’re not friends, if we weren’t sisters I wouldn’t chose them as friends, we have nothing in common. We don’t live near each other and if I called one of them up just for a chat they’d think I’d lost my mind.

I have nothing in common with my siblings, so I don’t usually talk or interact with them without a reason. Probably disappointing for my mother but life is too short to enforce friendships.
I want to believe that if something happened we would be there for each other.

I think closeness amongst siblings varies enormously from family to family. Closeness cannot be forced, and whatever you do as a parent to not try and force it, as it might backfire. It also ebbs and flows. I was not that close with my sisters for a number of years, but right now we are very close.