This is quite long so you get the full picture…
When I was a teenager, my two grandmothers independently told my sister, who subsequently told me, that they believed the person who I thought was my father was in fact not my father. They told my sister that another man, who my mother had a relationship with when I very little, was my father. (My mother and so-called father divorced when I was just a baby.) I asked my mum about this at the time and she said that it wasn't true and that the grandmothers were stirring up trouble. At the time, I believed my mum.
For ease, let’s call the person who I’ve been told is my dad my whole life “Bob” and the man my grandmothers believe to be my father “Tom”.
Recently, I was going through my childhood things and found a gift Tom had given me when I was a child and it was signed 'Daddy'. I remember Tom, so it prompted me to look in my childhood photos. I found a handful of photos of him holding me affectionately as a baby and young child, but no photos of Bob and I at all until I was quite a lot older. I remember Tom coming to see me every so often, but then he just stopped coming all together soon after my mother re-married. I wouldn't be surprised if my mum told Tom to stop coming.
When I looked at the photos of Tom and I, I couldn't help by see a resemblance in him and me. I don't see any similarity in appearance between Bob and I. We all look like our parents, right?
I think Bob knows that I’m not his daughter, as he’s rarely contacts me, but is in regular contact with my sister.
Anyway, since looking at the photos, remembering what my sister told me a long time ago and finding the gift signed Daddy, it felt like I'd pieced it together for the first time. Now, I’m pretty certain Tom is my dad. Sadly, I have no way of finding him.
I asked my mum about it all again, but she’s not saying anything other than that Tom was my God-father, which I don’t believe for a second. Now, I don’t feel like I can bring myself to talk to my mum again, as she’s most certainly been lying to me about who my father was my whole life and wants to continue to do so. Would you talk to your mum if you were me?