Unpaid maternity leave

[Yummymummy2020]

Is it unreasonable to expect husband to contribute extra to household expenses during my unpaid maternity leave? We rent and have normal expenses like food bills ect which we split normally. It is cheaper for me to take the unpaid leave to mind our kids than for us to pay for childcare and I would like the time with the kids.By contribute I guess I mean I will save as much as I can but due to not having income I think he should pay more in rent for that time that I’m off. I’m just wondering what way other people worked things out! I wouldn’t expect him to pay extra off non essentials just it would take pressure off me trying to save for my full share for everything over the three months.

This is honestly insane to me.. there is no notion of 'my' and 'his' money, whatever we earn is joint. When I was off on maternity leave, it was still joint (including all savings). I don't think the thought of me paying "my share" would ever cross my husband's mind! We've been in seasons of life where I outearned him and vice versa - this has never been an issue.

You are MARRIED - there is no ‘your’ money and ‘his’ money. You realise that you are legally entitled to half of everything he has, yes? As in, if you took him to court, a judge would order him to give you half of all his money. But you shouldn’t need to take him to court - you should just tell him ‘we are married, everything you have is legally also mine’. And then you won’t have any of these problems

This is so bizarre! Do you divide absolutely everything? You have had a child together! How do you quantify who pays for what when it comes to raising YOUR child and putting a roof over your heads?!

I honestly never even thought about it during either of my mat leaves (although I had no completely unpaid time). Our joint income each month was X, our costs were Y, as long as we could meet Y out of X we were good, end of story. We did discuss how we'd handle leave and how it would affect us financially, and we shared the leave both times, but our money was joint money, end of story.

You have to work together if you are going to be married with DC.

Why would you have a baby with someone who would even make this an issue?

You both presumably chose to have a child, you both manage the expense of that including your maternity leave and eventually childcare

Just to clarify it is his baby. Honestly it’s always worked for us having separate accounts and we just split everything else, I guess this three months unpaid maternity kind of feels separate to a normal expense in that I am the one choosing to go without pay for it! I will have my statutory maternity too this is additional time my job offers unpaid as an option if you want it.

Throughout my pregnancy DH paid his half of the mortgage and bills to me (all come from my account as it's my property) plus 50% again, which I saved along with 50% from me so I have the funds for everything once I drop down to SMP. It would be really weird for him to have no financial effects of you being on mat leave surely?

As for planning for the unpaid weeks of maternity leave, we just calculated how much we'd need and increased our savings by that amount when I was working.

Thanks so much for all the feedback, it’s good to hear how other people do things and gives me something to think about for future finances!

This is the kind of situation I always wonder about when married couples say they're happier keeping seperate finances.

Not being on the same page financially speaks to broader issues around communication and compatibility. Its a partnership and there has to be support.

Yes if you're dividing assets in your relationship then he should pay more rent to support you while you're on maternity leave. I would find it bizarre having to discuss this with my husband to be honest. I highly recommend talking to him about how you manage your incomes in general especially now that you have a child, you never know what could happen in the future and its invaluable knowing that you can count on each other for support no matter what happens.

No you’re not being unreasonable at all. I’m in the same situation as you (freelancer) and my partner will pay for all of our expenses (including the ‘fun’ ones) while I am off. That’s pretty normal IMO.

However I don’t agree that it’s weird to split finances while you are both working. With divorce rates in the U.K. being 42%, I find the ‘everything must be shared’ approach a bit arrogant, tbh. People don’t like to think of themselves as statistics, though.

If it makes your household accounting feel better, maybe he should pay you the equivalent salary to a 24/7 nanny, cleaner and personal chef then you can contribute to household bills from that? /joke

But seriously, have a think about how this splitting thing is going to go with childcare costs. If he wants you to BF and you decide to FF, will you have to pay for it because you could have fed for free? Are you going to be stood there in Clarks with a calculator arguing about what % of the school shoes you should pay for?

Seriously, is there one of these threads every day without fail? Always the same - couple who has rushed into parenthood without having any discussion of financial implications. Without joint accounts and the mother struggling for money.

Of course it is reasonable, however the decision on maternity leave/how long will be taken off and the impact on household income should be a joint one. It isn't reasonable to decide on your own to go down to one wage and expect the other person to make up the shortfall without consulting them in the decision to begin with.

Your set up only works when both are earning similar amounts. You're going on maternity leave and will need access to money. What happens if you don't go back full time? It makes much more sense to have a joint account otherwise you'll end up in being financially abused like so many women on here seem to be.

Ridiculous you even have to ask! Unless there's a huge back storey of you sitting on a massive trust fund, just pool your finances so much easier - obviously drawing from any separate savings equally. Children are a shared expense!

You say its not worth you going back to work because of childcare costs for kids (plural).

Are both/all the kids his, or just the baby?
If just the baby, and actually you staying off is reducing the childcare cost of an older child that should be shared with that child's father it might be more complicated.

If both his kids,you really should have worked this out the first time round!