Friends husbands/partners..

[Pierslovesmeghan]

What do you think of them? What is your relationship like with them?

All through my life, close friends partners, I always got on with in a sort of brotherly/also good friend way. Of course there has probably been a couple of wankers, but generally I liked them in a very platonic, sort of caring way.

In the last couple of years I’ve made a lot of new ‘Mummy friends’ one I'm fairly close to but don’t know massively well. With lockdowns lifting, we’ve sort of formed a small group with her, her husband and their toddler (who plays with our toddler)

Strangely, the other day, I found myself having a sort of crush on her other half. This has never happened before, many of my best friends partners have been really good looking, funny, clever, kind etc, but it’s almost been an immediate cut off in my mind, so this felt really weird. I’m not sure if I’m just confusing it with really liking him as he’s a highly likeable guy. He’s a few tears younger than all of us and I can just really see what she sees in him. It just really freaked me out that I was sort of thinking like this.

Has anyone else ever had this sort of situation? Aibu and a complete bitch to even have this enter my mind or is it completely normal to find other people attractive and it’s just that this guy happens to be married to me new friend?

@audweb

You have no friends outside of being a mummy? No single person met your husband before or after that?

I’ve had an odd crush on my friends husband. They would never know, and it passed quickly the more I got to know them. You can’t help who you have an initial attraction to, but you can help how you behave from that point on.

The friends I socially meet with as any kinds of group are mummy friends yes. Most of my friends while younger where male as we had the same interests. Although I don’t put much stock in this whole be friends from school till death type friendships anyways.

My females let’s meet up with the children kinda friends are mummy friends and frankly he would be bored shitless and we all enjoy bitching about the men far to much to want to invite them along and basically be babysitting our children plus husbands.

I’d find it weird for my husband to need to know and meet every female friend I had. It’s none of his business frankly.

I've always sort of low-key fancied one of my friends' husband. I knew him before I knew her, he was good friends with my partner at the time. Got to know her through him and now the primary friendship is with her. I say fancied but not sure it's that even, I don't think about him romantically or anything, I just think he's fit

I think it happens OP, I wouldn't be self-flagellating over it. I did have a couple where I started to build an independent friendship with the DH, nights out etc etc - that was less of a good idea.

In general though in my group of friends there is so much moaning about husbands - this one takes hours in the loo, that one only cooks one dish on repeat, the other one refuses to get a driving licence, yet another makes odd noises in bed - that tbh you quickly stop fancying them even if you ever did!

Oh I have a crush on one of my friend's husbands. Would never act on it because a) it's my friend's husband and b) I love my husband and c) he's way out of my league. But he's so cute, friendly and has done some amazing work in their house!

You can’t help who you find attractive. I don’t think you need to feel guilty and awful like some PPs are implying.

Don’t act on it, don’t flirt with your friends DPs, and don’t tell anyone. As you all hang out and you get to know him, it will pass.

You don’t lose the ability to have a crush on someone just because you or they are married. It’s natural. Just don’t do anything about it. Simple

You can't help who you are attracted to- no lines have been crossed.

I am not attracted to any of my friend's husbands but I wouldn't feel bad if I was. My husband is very handsome- no I am not deluded, he just is. Friends have commented on it many times but in a respectful complimentary way. I wouldn't care if a friend had a crush on him unless she was trying to come onto him.

I think it's normal to occasionally notice an attractive man, whether it be at work or a friend's husband, but the key is just to plough on as if you haven't noticed. No extra laughing, no catching their eye, don't play games, just be totally straightforward.

I don't majorly crush on my friends' husbands as most I don't fancy and the odd time I have found one attractive on the surface, I just don't allow myself to think about it too much and I tend to go off them. I'm quite good at that.

I've never been attracted to any of my friend's husbands, oddly enough (or luckily enough) most of my friends and I simply have different tastes in men.

There have been a couple of them that I simply couldn't stand because they were just assholes and a couple that I've really liked as they're just plain 'nice guys' whom everybody likes. Other than those few, most of them I feel 'neutral' about.

I was was once attracted to a friends boyfriend but I never acknowledged it in any way. Thankfully they didn't last long so I didn't have to meet him many times. You can't control who you find attractive but I would

Posted too soon.
I would never have let anyone, lesst of all him, know about it.