To not want DS to start pre-school without settling in sessions?

[nervousnelly8]

DS is due to start pre-school shortly. He has just turned 2. He has never been apart from me/DH/my mum and has been even more home based over the last year due to lockdown. He is a fairly confident child but is (I feel understandably) quite clingy to me. This has increased since his baby sister arrived at the end of last year.

I've just been told that the pre-school is not doing settling in sessions due to covid. Previously the first 3 sessions would be with a parent, then the next 3 would have the parent close by (in the building but not in the room) and then they would build up the time to a full session alone after that. Now, they are asking parents to drop the children off at the gate and leave them from day 1 (you can still build up the time if wanted).

I feel really uncomfortable about this. Not only has DS not been to the place before or met the people, I haven't either. It doesn't seem to me to be a particularly gentle or child-centred approach. I do wonder whether I am worrying over nothing as the room leader seemed surprised when I expressed my concern (I had previously been told they were settling in as normal). Please could you share experiences?

Just FYI - we could choose to start him in September instead of now when settling in will be back to normal and he'll be a bit older, but I genuinely think he will love it once he is settled.

YABU - he will be fine, they are experienced and will know how to help him settle, stop being so PFB

YANBU - it could be quite traumatic for both of you to drop him and leave him in an unfamiliar setting with unfamiliar people

Providing they are happy for you to do shorter sessions at first , which they are , I can’t see the issue . For some children having a parent hanging around makes it harder for them to settle .

Honestly; I work in childcare and most of the time this works out much better for the little ones. They settle much quicker I wouldn't worry too much. Nothing else they can realistically do at the moment but im sure he'll be fine

When my son started nursery at 8 months we had a socially distanced session for an hour in the nursery garden with his key worker, then he had an hour session on his own, a 2 hour session, a 4 hour session and the started full time.

It isn't an 'AIBU' or 'not' choice really, as it is completely understandable that you would be nervous leaving your dc for the first time, especially when you haven't been able to go inside and see the building even let alone got to know the staff
however if it actually a LOT easier for a the little ones - which I think surprises quite a lot of the younger staff who have only ever known the recent thing of protracted settling in sessions.

@Sirzy

I think for a lot of children the extended parents hovering around starts makes things much tougher for them. I can well see a lot of settings keeping to minimal settling sessions even when things do open more.

I agree with that!!

How about asking the nursery to email you some photos of the rooms and the staff? Then before he starts you can talk it through with him and explain what's going to happen.
You have the option of shorter sessions too so perhaps you could wait outside in your car for 20 minutes then ring them to see if you should collect him or leave him a bit longer?