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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If each country had a two child policy

528 replies

Blackcat21 · 07/04/2021 16:38

Just an idea and my opinion, and fully aware I will probably get flamed for this.

The population is rising, not shrinking, and with that is coming ridiculous house prices, global warming, running low on natural resources and foods.

Health services are stretched and school classes are increasingly full.

Wouldn’t an solution to this be only letting per couple or mother/father have two biological children each.

I must admit, it does annoy me when some women go on to have 3rd, 4th child etc just because “they want to” or want a large family, love being with children or love being a mother.

Motherhood is a beautiful thing but it could be restricted to two biological children only.

Overpopulation is impacting the earth too much.

If this couple wanted more children they can adopt.
There are thousands of children in the U.K. and other countries each year wanting to be adopted.

Doing this could possibly tackle overpopulation but increase the adoption of children.

Obviously I’m aware there is problems of how to monitor this, what if a woman gets pregnant against her will, accidental pregnancies etc but not that is the not the point or idea I’m trying to get across right now.

AIBU to think this could be a good approach?

OP posts:
SofiaMichelle · 08/04/2021 14:38

If you are actually join the dots house prices are not ridiculous in this country simply because we have too many people.

Join the dots??? Don't make us laugh!

They won't join the dots because the conclusion of doing that doesn't end up with blaming the government, it comes back to taking personal responsibility for something.

You know MN... everything is the government's fault. If (some) MNers think that, heaven forbid, they could be at fault then it needs sweeping under the carpet immediately, whilst trying to find someone else to pin the issue on.

InkieNecro · 08/04/2021 14:46

Ridiculous idea. As others have said, what if a couple has two children, splits and then one or both meet someone who hasn't yet had children? Is the new person not allowed to have children?

Adoption is horrendously hard. You aren't just getting a child. You're getting a child who has had a horrendous start in life and will have physical or mental health issues that most are not equipped to deal with.

Far better to raise education levels globally, statistically less children are born when their mothers education levels are increased.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/04/2021 14:55

As others have said, what if a couple has two children, splits and then one or both meet someone who hasn't yet had children? Is the new person not allowed to have children?
Arguably though you'd meet someone, discuss the fact they've had two kids and so been compulsory steralised and then decide from there. The bigger issue for me is if a child dies in infancy, as saying this counts as one of your 2 would increase TFMR's

skirk64 · 08/04/2021 14:59

It's a very good idea. I would add a caveat that a woman can only have two living children, so if for example my first child dies while under 18 I'd have the right to have a "third" one. Also you'd have to factor in the risk that my second baby might turn out to be twins, I wouldn't necessarily agree with one of the twins being taken away and given for adoption or euthanised.

Radical policies like this are what is needed to reverse climate change. Pollution and use of natural resources is increased as the population increases. The world isn't designed for 7 billion and counting, that's why the planet is warning us now that it can't go on like this.

Fewer people means less war, less famine, less drought, more money and better conditions for everyone.

Arguably the two children per person limit wouldn't be enough, we'd need to have an average of less than one per person and it would need to be enforced globally.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/04/2021 15:03

Given you think it's a v good idea @skirk64, what would you do to those who deliberately violate the rules?

TankGirl97 · 08/04/2021 15:08

It only takes five minutes to research this and realise what a horrid, dystopian idea it is.
You may as well suggest euthanasia for anyone over retirement age/unable to work and contribute for whatever reason, that would reduce the population and make us a healthier society. It's young, working age people we want.

terribleg · 08/04/2021 15:08

If you can afford your own kids then have as many as you want. If you can’t then don’t. This country’s in enough debt without the added expense for extra kids.

By that logic why have the NHS? We have 2 dc, a high income & are healthy so no skin off my nose.

terribleg · 08/04/2021 15:11

You may as well suggest euthanasia for anyone over retirement age/unable to work and contribute for whatever reason, that would reduce the population and make us a healthier society. It's young, working age people we want.

Exactly! If your concerned about the economy then we need to limit the elderly.

Mittens030869 · 08/04/2021 15:39

As an adoptive mum myself, nothing annoys me more than people advising posters to ‘just adopt’, for whatever reason. I’ll never regret our decision to adopt, and I wouldn’t be without our DDs (13 and 9), but it’s been really hard.

InkieNecro · 08/04/2021 15:40

If you can afford your own kids then have as many as you want. If you can’t then don’t. This country’s in enough debt without the added expense for extra kids

Should women remain in abusive relationships because they then won't go on benefits with their children if they leave? Maybe the women should leave the children with their fathers so they can avoid going on benefits? Might as well euthanise those whose family situation changes to avoid going on to benefits.

That's another ridiculous idea.

InkieNecro · 08/04/2021 15:42

@terribleg

You may as well suggest euthanasia for anyone over retirement age/unable to work and contribute for whatever reason, that would reduce the population and make us a healthier society. It's young, working age people we want.

Exactly! If your concerned about the economy then we need to limit the elderly.

Yes, and the disabled, the poor, etc. Hmm I don't know what some people are thinking.

Do the words slippery slope mean nothing to some people? Or are they naive in thinking bad things will never happen to them?

TankGirl97 · 08/04/2021 15:45

Just to clarify, I meant this would also be an appalling idea, I'm not advocating for it!

terribleg · 08/04/2021 15:48

Just to clarify, I meant this would also be an appalling idea, I'm not advocating for it!

Same which is why I'm against the OPs suggestion particularly when our birth rate isn't even 2. However if you are basing things on economic output & quality of life then tons of old people & hardly any young people is not the way to go.

terribleg · 08/04/2021 15:50

Do the words slippery slope mean nothing to some people? Or are they naive in thinking bad things will never happen to them?

I think people are naive, look at the covid/loss of income threads about how low benefits were or not being able to access any help because of savings. Plus a lot of people are just stupid.

InkieNecro · 08/04/2021 15:52

Well if we sterilise the stupid idiots who think it's a good idea maybe we wouldn't have more of these discussions, not sure they'd like that idea though.

BilboBercow · 08/04/2021 15:55

How do we then fund services in the UK , which has a declining birth rate and aging population?

Mishmased · 08/04/2021 16:03

@cockcrisps

I think I’d choose DC 1 and DC 3. DC 2 is my least favourite, so if we were only allowed two, that would be my choice. HTH.
🤣🤣🤣
terribleg · 08/04/2021 16:05

Well if we sterilise the stupid idiots who think it's a good idea maybe we wouldn't have more of these discussions, not sure they'd like that idea though.

If we are going to reduce the population we need to try & keep the intelligent ones & the healthy ones so yay eugenics!

greeneyedlulu · 08/04/2021 16:07

But aren't people already having less kids than years ago? My mum was one of 12, 13 including a step sister, and my dad was 1 of 6, these big families are no longer the norm with the cost of living, child expenses, proper contraception etc. My parents just had me and most of my aunts and uncles have had 1 or 2 kids, 1 has 4. Also at my son's school pretty much all the kids in his year are in 1 or 2 child families, there's only 2 families that have 4. That said, I don't think its something to enforce legally.

terribleg · 08/04/2021 16:10

How do we then fund services in the UK , which has a declining birth rate and aging population?

Someone mentioned upthread about importing immigrants, they didn't specify whether those immigrants had a choice though.

AnotherEmma · 08/04/2021 16:24

New report about the two child limit for benefits, in case anyone is interested. It gives examples and quotes from people affected.

cpag.org.uk/sites/default/files/files/policypost/It_feels_as_though_my_third_child_doesnt_matter.pdf

samenwitch · 08/04/2021 16:32

Calm down there, Deng Xiaoping.

PerspicaciousGreen · 08/04/2021 16:41

[quote AnotherEmma]New report about the two child limit for benefits, in case anyone is interested. It gives examples and quotes from people affected.

cpag.org.uk/sites/default/files/files/policypost/It_feels_as_though_my_third_child_doesnt_matter.pdf[/quote]
Really interesting reading, thank you. As always with these things, I was particularly struck by this sentiment:

But job losses, ill health and relationship breakdown invariably hit individual households all the time. No family can assume that such a crisis would not affect them at some point in the next 18 years when they decide to have a child.

You just don't know what the next 18 (or more!) years have in store for you when you have a child. When we conceived our 3yo, I didn't know we'd be where we are now - for good or for bad. Let alone when he's a teenager! I'm quite risk averse and we have plenty of savings as a result, but even I don't think you can live your life always thinking about the worst case scenario. At some point it's reasonable to do things despite the risk that things might not turn out perfectly - like conceive a child when they might be disabled or you might lose your job one day in the next two decades, or even die suddenly and early of cancer leaving them motherless.

Isitsixoclockalready · 08/04/2021 16:44

Is the problem overpopulation or the overuse of resources? There is so much waste in western society especially. We should probably concentrate on that.

Crowsaregreat · 08/04/2021 16:44

Developed countries have a huge per capita carbon footprint and use of resources like water compared to other countries. We just need to stop being greedy in the West.

Programmes to improve women's equality (schooling, age of marriage, financial autonomy, healthcare, ability to access contraception etc) make the birth rate reduce naturally without any coercion. Most women don't want huge families, they have them because they either have no choice about whether they conceive, or they anticipate many of their children won't make it to adulthood and they need to rely on them for financial support in old age.