AIBU to think neighbours are using my dryer?

[DontThinkSoBro]

In our block of flats each floor consists of 2 flats which share a drying room on the landing. The drying rooms are jointly owned by the two flats, we have a key each & our own tumble dryers on each side of the room.

New neighbours have moved in - lovely so far, no issues at all... except over the weekend I found one of their sons socks in my dryer & last night I found one of the woman’s socks in my dryer. 100% no mistaking that they are theirs as we only have plain socks & these are most definitely a little boys socks & a woman’s pair of patterned socks.

I absolutely don’t want to cause an argument about it. Could there be another simple explanation that I’m not thinking of as to how twice now, their socks have ended up in my dryer?

How would I approach this without causing a rift with otherwise very nice people?

It’s accusing someone of doing something that they blatantly know they shouldn’t be doing, so it’s never going to sit comfortably is it?

They’re the ones making it uncomfortable. You say you’re worried about causing a rift, but they haven’t worried about that have they?

Socket locks, bin the socks!

If they ever mention it, smile brightly & say: 'yeah it's the WEIRDEST thing - I found clothes that weren't ours in the dryer. I'm guessing some cheeky fucker from one of the other floors has somehow come by a key to our drying room & is using our dryers? I've got a link I can send you to the socket lock in case anyone's sneakily using yours?'

If they are nice but slightly thoughtless people, they'll feel a bit guilty. They may say 'OMG that was actually us! We didn't even consider it was your electric bill.' If they are CFers, they'll be quite highly attuned to this sort of pushback & know perfectly well they've been sussed. But either way you've avoided the awkward conversation.

This is based on a few years of expat compound living - always give the 'good guys' a polite get out, don't bother getting into an argument with the piss takers, & tether your own camel first .

If OP has already talked to them, then they know full well what they are doing. If you are that way inclined, why use a crap tumble dryer and your own electricity when you can get away with using a newer one for “free”.

Personally I’d chuck their socks on the floor, put a plastic poo in my washing powder and take the fuse out of my plug, but I’m passive aggressive.

put inching powder in the socks before you return them

I think a clear convo is the best way to start. Tell her explicitly that each drier rubs off the appropriate flats electricity. Give her chance to bollock the DC who made the mistake, or shame her into realising you've sussed her out.

If she still carries on using your machine then get a lockable socket or whatever.

I wouldn't use aggressive/confrontational tactics with a neighbour without first giving them a heads up and opportunity to change their ways.

Fair enough.

But the neighbour is still using OP’s machine.after that clear conversation. Why would they do that? It wasn’t hard to understand.

@SheldonesqueIsAlmostHuman

You are a better person than me Brussels

If I found someone else’s stuff in my machine, it would be binned.
(Only half joking)

I wouldn't bin it. I'd be straight round to let them know they had been caught.

@DontThinkSoBro Do you have your fuse board within your flat? If so find out which switch is for the dryer and if possible keep it off while the dryer is not in use. They will use it again when you are out or away for a weekend. CFs like that won't care about using your electricity. Go and hand back the socks and remind them which dryer belongs to them. But you need to take steps to secure your own dryer regardless. Hopefully you can switch off the fuse - that would be the handiest solution for you.

If you want to be really PA, you could mention that you want to change the locks on the drier room.

"It seems some CF has been using my drier, I can't believe the nerve of some people, it's theft really! Have you noticed anything?"

I don't see how it has to be PA. If you felt you wanted to, you could just say (shortly before or after installing a lock on the door or socket) that your bill has been going up and you've noticed clothes left in your dryer, so you think somebody from one of the other floors must have hit upon the plan of deliberately sneaking to another floor to use somebody else's dryer and steal their electricity - not surprising as everybody knows how very expensive tumble dryers are.

That way, you're not suggesting it was them at all and - better - they can't even confess and promise (with crossed fingers behind their backs) not to do it again, as they aren't your suspects (or the only possible thieves to thwart).

They know full well what they're doing - as PPs have said, talking to them will only make them be more sneaky about it, wait for when you're out and ensure they check they've left it empty.

I know I'm late to the party, can you buy a lockable socket cover?

Sorry that was for tatiana

CFs like that won't care about using your electricity

They probably enjoy the fact they're saving themselves money and scoring a freebie.

because blatantly there’s no simple non awkward way to go about it? It’s accusing someone of doing something that they blatantly know they shouldn’t be doing, so it’s never going to sit comfortably is it?

I think there is? Just leave the stuff you found in your dryer on top of their dryer, with a note saying 'Found these in our dryer - guessing they are yours?' Hopefully that will be enough to stop them using your dryer as they'll feel awkward knowing you know what they've been doing.

They’ve not had a conversation about using her machine, simply a conversation about whose machine is whose.

I don’t know about you but when someone says “that’s mine... that’s yours” its pretty much which is yours to use. Why the hell should OP have to have a second conversation explicitly saying please don’t use my machine.

She's not exactly stealthy if she's leaving socks in the dryer, is she? Thereby, she is inviting at least a conversation about her misuse of the dryer. There's only one person who should be awkward about this situation and it isn't you. If you are against confrontation, leave a note on the dryer saying "For use of Flat 1A only".

FFS, they know what they're doing. You don't need another conversation - they were shown when they moved in, this is your dryer; this is ours.

Just lock it up or use one of the other suggestions.

Confuse everyone, including yourself, by wearing a large glass locket that contains the errant socks.

You could lie (I assume) and say you don't want to make things awkward but you're on a tight budget and can't afford the extra cost of them running your tumble dryer when it's empty.

Some people are genuinely clueless and something as simple as the wear and tear or electricity cost won't have occurred to them. They've just seen an empty tumble dryer and decided to use it.

If they really are being cheeky, check the stuff on the shelves (if you have things like tumble dryer sheets or washing powder) because they might be using that too.

Screw that! This is MN! Post a note through their door. Log it with 101!

And if that doesn't work, get your solicitor to send them a "cease and desist" letter

And then install a penguin bollard in front of your dryer.

If you don’t want to discuss it, just isolate the fuse when you’re not using it, or get a lock

Take the fuse out of the plug and if they replace it (unlikely) you can ask them why they’ve replaced the fuse in your dryer

Nope. I wouldn’t really bin the clothes found in my dryer.

I would be hugely tempted to squeeze my fat into the clothes and parade them with pride.

In reality? I’d be buying the lock or switching it off from the flat. They know fine they are not using their own machine and by default are freeloading CFs.

Oh dear God just ask them!

I’d just go with the lock. They’ll realise you’re wise to them just from that.

Take the fuse out of the plug on yours when you are not using it.

Just talk to them or in true MN 'I'm a passive-aggressive bitch me' style, shit in the socks, light them on fire and post them through their letterbox. That'll show 'em.

Turn it off at the consumer unit if the utility has its own switch, or take the fuse out the plug. I'd be keeping an eye on my washing powder too!!