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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think neighbours are using my dryer?

486 replies

DontThinkSoBro · 07/04/2021 14:21

In our block of flats each floor consists of 2 flats which share a drying room on the landing. The drying rooms are jointly owned by the two flats, we have a key each & our own tumble dryers on each side of the room.

New neighbours have moved in - lovely so far, no issues at all... except over the weekend I found one of their sons socks in my dryer & last night I found one of the woman’s socks in my dryer. 100% no mistaking that they are theirs as we only have plain socks & these are most definitely a little boys socks & a woman’s pair of patterned socks.

I absolutely don’t want to cause an argument about it. Could there be another simple explanation that I’m not thinking of as to how twice now, their socks have ended up in my dryer?

How would I approach this without causing a rift with otherwise very nice people?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Ginuwine · 09/04/2021 12:01

Some of the pettiness on this thread is mildly terrifying

Butwasitherdriveway · 09/04/2021 12:03

Omg.

I can't believe people go on like this.

memberofthewedding · 09/04/2021 12:32

I just looked at those plugs on Amazon and they look pretty much like any regular plug at a casual glance. A pretty useful piece of kit if you want to control access to a device.

TrainWhistleChoir · 09/04/2021 12:49

OP, please come back and let us know what conversation you've had with this woman!

EnchantedByGin · 09/04/2021 19:34

If taking the condenser out each time is too much of a faff, and as a lock over the switches is a no go (guessing they’re behind the machines) maybe look into hiring an electrician to give you control over the switches from inside your flat as the circuit has other items on it. I’m not an electrician, but would have thought that would be an easy and not too expensive way of sorting it permanently.

RampantIvy · 09/04/2021 20:53

If taking the condenser out each time is too much of a faff

It isn't. It is just a drawer that you have to remove to empty anyway. The OP could just "forget" to put it back until she needs to use the tumble dryer again.

Housewife2010 · 09/04/2021 21:15

Could you empty the fluff filter and leave a note in it saying "Keep Off"? If it's full you'll know they've used it. If they open the fluff filter to dispose of the evidence, they'll see the note!

mooonstone · 09/04/2021 21:56

@memberofthewedding

I just looked at those plugs on Amazon and they look pretty much like any regular plug at a casual glance. A pretty useful piece of kit if you want to control access to a device.
yes the plugs work wonders!

I connected my smart plug to the lights around my mirror - the lights can’t turn on without the app now, as the plug essentially blocks the power when it’s set to “off” via the app. Therefore flicking the physical on switch on my lights can’t turn the lights on when the plug is toggled to “off” in the app

Perfect for this scenario

HaveringWavering · 10/04/2021 10:49

@Housewife2010

Could you empty the fluff filter and leave a note in it saying "Keep Off"? If it's full you'll know they've used it. If they open the fluff filter to dispose of the evidence, they'll see the note!
Ooh, I like this!
unwuthering · 10/04/2021 11:40

How would I approach this without causing a rift with otherwise very nice people?

Use your words.

All this trickery, so that they get the passive-aggressive message that you're onto them - when it may be a simple mistake of some sort on their side of things - would be far more upsetting than saying up front, 'Oh, you seem to have confused our machine with yours!" and handing back the socks.

ChangedName4TheSakeOfIt · 10/04/2021 13:07

@unwuthering but the CFers already know that they are using someone else's machine and electricity. It was explained to them when signing up for the flat, the OP has had the conversation with them when they moved in, and the set up, according to OP, makes who's side is who's very obvious as not only is the room clearly defined as two sides, but both flats keep personal items on their own sides.

What would having a word and telling them not to achieve? They know they're being cheeky fuckers, only now they'll know they need to make sure to remember to take all the items out of the drum so it's less obvious they're using it. It's like asking a burglar not to burgle. They already know it's wrong.

unwuthering · 10/04/2021 13:42

I know several people who have to be told, no, you're other left...

thenovice · 10/04/2021 14:42

Get a switch to isolate your machine from inside your flat, so it won't work. And if you find their clothes in your machine, put them back in theirs and set it going for a LONG dry.

finished31 · 10/04/2021 15:41

[quote ChangedName4TheSakeOfIt]@unwuthering but the CFers already know that they are using someone else's machine and electricity. It was explained to them when signing up for the flat, the OP has had the conversation with them when they moved in, and the set up, according to OP, makes who's side is who's very obvious as not only is the room clearly defined as two sides, but both flats keep personal items on their own sides.

What would having a word and telling them not to achieve? They know they're being cheeky fuckers, only now they'll know they need to make sure to remember to take all the items out of the drum so it's less obvious they're using it. It's like asking a burglar not to burgle. They already know it's wrong. [/quote]
This

They will just get smarter.

I know it's a faff OP but the only way to stop it quickly is to take the water tray with you every time you finish using it.

ChangedName4TheSakeOfIt · 10/04/2021 18:51

@unwuthering

I know several people who have to be told, no, you're other left...
Except they manage to keep their private possessions on the correct left.
unwuthering · 11/04/2021 00:22

The OP has stated these are "otherwise very nice people". And that she wants to sort it without "creating a rift".

I know it is anathema on MN to actually speak to the person causing the problem, but that is really the only way to establish if they are - as posters above insist- actual CFs in this instance.

It may be a tired husband came home from work and was handed a basket of laundry to dry, reminded ours is on the right, and he went in and put it in the wrong machine. It may be the child took the laundry in to dry, ditto. Or maybe they had a ton to dry and used both machines. Or maybe the previous occupants left socks in their machine and they thought they were the OPs...

If they are as the OP states otherwise nice people, handing back the socks will determine what has happened and if it was not in any way a one-off or an accident, gently embarrass them into ceasing use.

But that would require (gasp) saying something - and buying spyware or installing a private detective to catch them in the act is apparently far more preferable here.

Mancs477 · 11/04/2021 00:25

@Lou98

You say they are otherwise nice people - why not just talk to them about it? Ask them if they've used your drier and if so, can they not in future.

Don't really understand why it's a big deal when you've said they're nice, nobody seems to talk anymore!

This. Absolutely no idea why some of you would feel the need to be so aggressive!
GlamGiraffe · 11/04/2021 00:43

You need a prawn hiding in there (preferably a few days old)
Imagine how their clothes would smell then...(obviously not a realistic solution but an entertaining thought😁!)

Ginuwine · 11/04/2021 08:56

Just. Talk. To. Them.

Wouldn't make as entertaining a thread for some folk, but it's the only proper solution.

DdraigGoch · 11/04/2021 09:47

@Ginuwine

Just. Talk. To. Them.

Wouldn't make as entertaining a thread for some folk, but it's the only proper solution.

Can you imagine how that conversation would go?

"Excuse me, I found these socks in my drier, do you know anything about them?"

Would be rather accusatory, no? Especially awkward if it turned out to be something innocent. Whereas plugging in a smart adaptor into the socket (for less than £20) brings peace of mind without ever needing conflict.

SpringtimeSummertime · 11/04/2021 10:50

Whereas plugging in a smart adaptor into the socket (for less than £20) brings peace of mind without ever needing conflict.

A Smart adaptor can be unplugged.

SpringtimeSummertime · 11/04/2021 11:00

Best solutions on this thread:

  1. talk to them
  2. remove fuse from plug

If you remove the water container and they use your machine without it you might end up with a damaged machine.
Mine still runs when I pull the tray out so so need to check.

melj1213 · 11/04/2021 13:05

Can you imagine how that conversation would go?

"Excuse me, I found these socks in my drier, do you know anything about them?"

Would be rather accusatory, no? Especially awkward if it turned out to be something innocent. Whereas plugging in a smart adaptor into the socket (for less than £20) brings peace of mind without ever needing conflict.

Why does everyone assume that a conversation has to be either an accusation or an argument? You can have a discussion that is assertive without being aggressive.

Only the OP and the neighbours have access to the drying room so asking questions like "do you know anything about these socks?" is going to be accusatory because they both know that if they aren't the OPs then they have to be the neighbours, so the question is a disingenuous one. Just stating straight out that the OP knows they belong to them is not accusatory it is a fact.

"Hi neighbours, we have found your socks in our dryer on more than one occasion now. Your dryer is on the left, ours is on the right. Please make sure everyone who uses the drying room knows this so they don't use our dryer again. Thanks"

Whether it is a genuine mistake of someone not realising that each machine belongs to (and is paid for by) a specific flat - as opposed to them being communal but it has been custom and practice for each flat to claim the one on "their side" of the room - or a deliberate use of the wrong machine, they are now aware it has been noted and the OP has addressed it.

If they are genuine people then they will rectify the mistake and not use the machine again, and if they are CFs who dgaf then they will ignore the request and continue using the machine (which they would have done anyway) which is when the OP can move on to more proactive responses to physically prevent them using the machine - whether that is changing the socket/plug to a smart device they can control the power to; a lockable socket cover or just a physical lock attached to the machine.

DdraigGoch · 11/04/2021 16:35

@SpringtimeSummertime

Whereas plugging in a smart adaptor into the socket (for less than £20) brings peace of mind without ever needing conflict.

A Smart adaptor can be unplugged.

The plug socket is hidden behind the drier. You'd have to know that the smart adapter was there to go to the effort of pulling the drier out to bypass it. You'd just assume that it was faulty.
DdraigGoch · 11/04/2021 16:37

"Hi neighbours, we have found your socks in our dryer on more than one occasion now. Your dryer is on the left, ours is on the right. Please make sure everyone who uses the drying room knows this so they don't use our dryer again. Thanks"
Still sounds PA to me.