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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think neighbours are using my dryer?

486 replies

DontThinkSoBro · 07/04/2021 14:21

In our block of flats each floor consists of 2 flats which share a drying room on the landing. The drying rooms are jointly owned by the two flats, we have a key each & our own tumble dryers on each side of the room.

New neighbours have moved in - lovely so far, no issues at all... except over the weekend I found one of their sons socks in my dryer & last night I found one of the woman’s socks in my dryer. 100% no mistaking that they are theirs as we only have plain socks & these are most definitely a little boys socks & a woman’s pair of patterned socks.

I absolutely don’t want to cause an argument about it. Could there be another simple explanation that I’m not thinking of as to how twice now, their socks have ended up in my dryer?

How would I approach this without causing a rift with otherwise very nice people?

OP posts:
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ForwardRanger · 07/04/2021 19:22

I can appreciate you feel awkward about confronting the neighbour but gee this is entirely their doing, they are the ones who should be feeling mighty awkward. Quite outrageous of them to use your equipment and power supply sneakily.

Could you leave the socks on their dryer with a note saying "found these in my dryer, not ours" then do the fuse removal thing.

Unfortunately many people really are that selfish, you have to have your wits about you.

itsgettingwierd · 07/04/2021 19:34

I bloody love MN for the pure reason any CF behaviour results in needing a penguin bollard Grin

Agree with fuse or huge padlock chain around it.

Personally I'd go for fuse/ fuse box as it'll just confuse them why it isn't working and the cabin makes you look PA and unreasonable .

TatianaBis · 07/04/2021 19:35

I do think women by and large need to get over the whole fear of awkwardness/ fear of confrontation thing. It’s a common theme on MN.

I’d just return her socks and underline which dryer is whose just in case she/husband got confused. That may be enough to embarrass them out of doing it. If not get a plug lock.

This conversation is not a major deal in the scheme of things, and they are the ones who have made it awkward.

tiredoftiers · 07/04/2021 19:48

At least they haven’t taken your washing. Which is exactly what my husband did when we had one of these shared drying rooms.
I’d go with speaking to them, they possibly don’t realise the electric is costing you money.

Concestor · 07/04/2021 19:56

I was going to suggest making sock monkeys and leaving them in her dryer for her to find. But I see a similar suggestion has been made.

StephenBelafonte · 07/04/2021 20:01

Just get your husband to do it if you don't like confrontation.

melj1213 · 07/04/2021 20:04

I would go round with the socks and just speak simply "I have found these in my dryer. The dryers are not communal, the one on the left is mine, the one on the right is yours. Please do not use my dryer again." Then I would just turn it off inside your flat.

ApocalypseNowt · 07/04/2021 20:06

Thanks @Beseigedbykillersquirrels Grin

I think most of life's problems could be solved by sock bunny plays to be fair!

Homehaircuts · 07/04/2021 20:10

I had a neighbor who constantly use to put her rubbish in my bin because she threw away so much, I didn't mind so much at the time as there was still room for ours and we had no kids at the time, but she and her bf started putting rubbish in my recycling bin and one day I got a sticker on it from the council saying they wouldn't collect mine anymore, so I had to ring and explain so they would start collecting again. I then had to talk to my neighbour she was very nice and apologetic etc ok for few weeks then it started again, so I ended up just putting a lock on my bins. Problem solved and we just acted like nothing different had happened to eachother.

FOJN · 07/04/2021 20:15

I'd put the socks in their dryer, say nothing and secure your dryer in anyway that's convenient to prevent future cheeky fuckery.

I'd usually advocate speaking to them but they know which dryer is theirs so I can't see what's to be gained by reminding them, as others have already said they'll just be more careful to empty the dryer in future.

You can remove the drawer or put a socket lock on and continue to be bright and breezy with them but the odd socks in their dryer will let them know you're aware of what they've been doing.

ComDummings · 07/04/2021 20:17

Put loads of fake spiders in the dryer, scare them.

12548ehe9fnfobms · 07/04/2021 20:28

Bring round an invoice for the cost of the electricity they used.

StephenBelafonte · 07/04/2021 20:33

Turn hers own for the maximum 2 hours and let it run empty just to use up her electricity.

She knows she should't be doing it. Thats why she does it when you're out. If she did it when you were home you'd hear it wouldn't you.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/04/2021 20:35

@NoGoodPunsLeft

If they are cheeky enough to effectively steal their neighbours ' electricity all.a nice chat will do is make them cover their tracks better. These people aren't your friends so just make it unusable when you aren't using it so they cant. What are they going to do, complain to you Confused
I'm really not sure about this. They might have thought it wasn't that serious and also they may stop once they've been asked just because it would be embarrassing to be caught doing it again. They live next door so OP can easily see them doing it.
Gwenhwyfar · 07/04/2021 20:37

@TatianaBis

I do think women by and large need to get over the whole fear of awkwardness/ fear of confrontation thing. It’s a common theme on MN.

I’d just return her socks and underline which dryer is whose just in case she/husband got confused. That may be enough to embarrass them out of doing it. If not get a plug lock.

This conversation is not a major deal in the scheme of things, and they are the ones who have made it awkward.

I don't think it's that much of a woman thing. I've seen men be just as careful when it comes to neighbours. The last thing you want is neighbours who hate you.
ThePlantsitter · 07/04/2021 20:39

I'd put a note in the dryer in such a way as it's obvious if you open it but not if you don't. a big scary monster face drawing and 'get out of my dryer' should do it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/04/2021 20:40

I would speak to her in a polite way, but I would also get some kind of lock so she can’t use it.

cerealgamechanger · 07/04/2021 20:42

You don't think they're using your dryer, you know they are. I'd take their socks to their door and say 'you left your socks in our dryer. Please don't use it again' or leave a note to that effect on their dryer. The lockable socket cover is a brilliant idea.

ArrrMeHearties · 07/04/2021 20:52

Its sockgate Grin

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 07/04/2021 20:54

this is designed to lock a plug in the socket, but presumably if you locked it in place with no plug, or a dummy plug, it would stop them using your drier or socket?

Socket locker

Staffy1 · 07/04/2021 20:58

Put a bit of masking tape over your dryer door each time you have finished using it, with a tiny pen mark on it if you think they might be sneaky enough to take it off and replace it with another bit of masking tape. Also, a label with your flat number/name on the dryer.

StoneofDestiny · 07/04/2021 21:02

Have you spoken to them yet OP?

Hollywolly1 · 07/04/2021 21:05

Buy a extra large horrible under pants and rub chocolate into it to make it look like poo and leave it in it and I guarantee she won't want to remove that before putting her fresh clothes in ,I think your little problem will be sortedWink

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 07/04/2021 21:19

To be honest about it, if there's an electric socket connected to your own supply, for which you have to pay the bill - and which anybody could come along and plug anything into without your knowledge, that's not all that different from leaving your open purse on a park bench and trusting that nobody will help themselves to any/all of it.

Unless the socket or master on/off switch itself is inside your property, I'd treat it like any outside socket and get a lockable cover for it. Tumble dryers cost a load to run, but for all you know, somebody could even rig it up to charge an electric car overnight or run an extension from their cooker or electric fire. You wouldn't go out without locking your front door - and that in no way is suggesting that you don't trust your immediate neighbour.

I agree with the PP, though: it seems a very strange design - especially for just two households. How does it save on space in any way as opposed to if they'd just put a wall down the middle of the space allotted for the drying room and then incorporated the space on each side into the flat itself? That would give you more options, then, as well as more privacy - rather than forcing you to have a dryer (some people don't have them at all), have it in that exact spot and then have to share the space with another household.

GroundingProject · 07/04/2021 21:21

@ApocalypseNowt

Conversations like this can be awkward.

OP, make 2 sock bunnies out of the errant socks. Then knock on your neighbours door and when they answer do a 'play' with the bunnies:

Sock bunny 1: "You've been using my drier. Please stop as it costs me money."

Sock bunny 2: "Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't realise"

Sock bunny 1: "No problem neighbour. Let's be friends"

Please do what @ApocalypseNowt says.