To ask if your child has a step parent, what do you expect from them?

[HaloTattle]

If you are 'the ex', what is it you would expect and want from your child's step mother/father?

We often hear a lot from step parents themselves on here and it seems some have unrealistic expectations of them, the usual love like your own, treat identically to your own DC etc...

But speaking as the child's mother/father, what is it you would expect or want?

@wigjuice

I wouldn't expect anything, but I would expect my ex to choose someone who treats our children kindly and decently.

This is exactly what I wanted to say!

I don't get involved with how ex and his partner parent and they don't get involved with how I parent. I know it's not ideal for everyone to do it this way but it works for our situation.

I don’t expect anything one to treat with respect and care and not bad mouth me. Thankfully she loves my child but doesn’t interfere.
I’m a step mum and sc mum expects as much from me as herself I take her when sc or her says as I do love sc even when dh not here. Sc texts me all the time to say good night and love you when not here. I won’t say it’s same love as my own children but it’s a strong bond we have. I’ve never fell out with sc mum and don’t plan to as we both have best interest of child

Nothing really. Just to be kind and friendly I suppose.

To be kind to the children and treat them as part of the family when they visit.

Not to become a "proxy parent" - I think this is where the resentment sets in with step-parents. Too many NRPs seem happy to shift responsibility for caring for their kids onto their new partner (especially where there are step-siblings who also need to be cared for).