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Original poster

To think I just can’t work right now? Special needs

72 replies

ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 11:27

DS has been deemed suitable for a special needs school. His needs are now quite complex and he’d be better there (it took time to come to terms with that).

Anyway, the special school he’s been offered a place at only offer his age group the hours of 9am to 12.15pm, 5 days a week. Term to only of course as it’s a proper school setting of sorts, not like his private nursery.

I’m currently on maternity leave but my job is part time, 3 days a week from 9am to 3pm. I can’t work from home with this (it’s Hospital based admin type role).

The following September (2022), DS would be going normal school hours, something like 9am to 3pm.

My issues are as follows -

My current job won’t change hours wise, it can’t. And I’m hard pressed to reliably find a job with the hours to work around his special school.

The nursery is the only real special needs school for a big stretch. We’ve recently moved after separating from H to a lovely little area. But even so, the local special school is over 40 minutes drive away, the same one he would’ve gone to at the old house. So even if I could get a job with very small hours, I’d not qualify for any working tax’s credit if under 16 hours. And I have to actually drive home after dropping him off.

H won’t help. I won’t go into this too much but he just won’t. So no help there. Weekends nobody will have him, and I live miles away from my own family. Not an option to move closer, and their local special needs support isn’t very good.

Am I just going to have to pack my job in and look for something term time only once DS is in school properly, 9-3? 😔

Unfortunately childminders are in short supply here too and none I’ve contacted have been interested in looking after a disabled child. Completely understandable but still makes things even more difficult

What would you do? If I give up my job I’ll lose my working tax credits (we are still on that and not UC).

OP posts:
Original poster
ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 11:40

Bump x

OP posts:
Lougle · 07/04/2021 11:47

Working backwards, if you've split from your DH, you should have told tax credits and that would trigger a change over to universal credit anyway, so you shouldn't be on tax credits.

As it's an NHS role you could ask for a leave of absence - there is specific provision for it. It would be unpaid, but your job would be protected.

Once he reaches statutory school age, he'll be entitled to transport, so you would be able to have his transport collect, then go to work.

But do sort the tax credit situation before they find out themselves.

(Btw, once you have your head around it, special school is great. DD1 went from age 4).

Tinydinosaur · 07/04/2021 11:48

Could you see if another parent in his group is interested in a childcare sharing system? They do yours for a few hours between nursery ending and you finishing work. You do weekends?

Lougle · 07/04/2021 11:51

The test for a married couple claiming as single people is that 'they are separated and that separation is likely to be permanent', btw.

Original poster
ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 11:53

Working backwards, if you've split from your DH, you should have told tax credits and that would trigger a change over to universal credit anyway, so you shouldn't be on tax credits.

No it doesn’t - because of a type of disability benefit

Could you see if another parent in his group is interested in a childcare sharing system? They do yours for a few hours between nursery ending and you finishing work. You do weekends?

How do I find these people? How do I even strike this conversation up? Additionally though, there’s not really a chance I can mentally handle someone else’s disabled child. The last year has been incredibly tough beyond measure. I wouldn’t be able to

OP posts:
Ilovemaisie · 07/04/2021 11:54

Apply for Disability Living Allowance (or PIP I think it's been renamed) for your child and carers allowance for you.

Original poster
ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 11:56

Ilovemaisie We do get that, it’s a real help

OP posts:
animalmagic1984 · 07/04/2021 11:57

Have you investigated whether your son would get DLA? My nephew has autism and he has been accepted for the DLA and my sis and her family were in a similar situation to you (current school only offering 2.5hrs of school a day 35 mins away and no place in full time special school until Sept 2022).

My BIL has had to give up work to facilitate this but because my nephew has DLA it means he can claim carer's allowance which I think worked out not much different from his part time work wages.

Similar to you, he may then look again for work once DN is in school for proper hours. Appreciate it is tougher for you as my sister is main bread winner but it may be worth looking into.

Also if school is 40 mins away and you are driving him there you may be entitled to claim mileage costs which can also add up.

Lougle · 07/04/2021 11:57

@ShannonKnocks9

Working backwards, if you've split from your DH, you should have told tax credits and that would trigger a change over to universal credit anyway, so you shouldn't be on tax credits.

No it doesn’t - because of a type of disability benefit

Could you see if another parent in his group is interested in a childcare sharing system? They do yours for a few hours between nursery ending and you finishing work. You do weekends?

How do I find these people? How do I even strike this conversation up? Additionally though, there’s not really a chance I can mentally handle someone else’s disabled child. The last year has been incredibly tough beyond measure. I wouldn’t be able to

Ok, that's interesting, I wasn't aware of that, but you've obviously looked into it.
Duggeehugs82 · 07/04/2021 11:57

I have had go not go back to work after maternity due to my child having special needs and not being able to find suitable childcare for her before and after her nursery hours , also its quite stressful job and looking after my daughter is stressful so just didnt want extra stress as have quite a stressful life. I have DLA for her on high rate which pays for therapy and Caerers allowance for me

Duggeehugs82 · 07/04/2021 11:58

Im dyslexic and very tired so that's why first sentence just doesnt make sence!

Ilovemaisie · 07/04/2021 11:59

Ah that's good you already get that. I don't know much about tax credits/UC but I would have thought by claiming DLA and carers it shows you can't work and you will get other financial help. Fingers crossed for you.

Original poster
ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 12:00

Lougle I wasn’t aware until I wondered why I wasn’t changing over. It’s the only exception I think, even for new claims, but don’t quote me on that Blush

OP posts:
crochetcrazy1978 · 07/04/2021 12:00

I had the exact same scenario with my son although he didnt go to special needs nursery. He was a private day nursery until he hit school age and then he went to the local special school. There was no wrap around care whatsoever. I muddled along for a few months (I was a single parent then) with help from my parents but it just wasnt sustainable. In the end I left work and claimed carers allowance and income support (would be UC nowadays). Most of the mums at the special needs school are not in work im afraid to say, its impossible when there is no wrap around or holiday care. Once I met my now husband who is a teacher I managed to get part time work and only did 9-1, meant i was still around in term time and in the holidays my husband cared for him whilst i was at work

WhereismyHeathcliff · 07/04/2021 12:01

I had a similar situation, though I was claiming universal credit, and I had to leave my job. It took several years of struggling through mainstream school with very part time hours ( only one hour of school a day by the time we reached year2) and eventually a whole year out of education waiting for a specialist school place. Now he is in education I could work, but only if I can find a childminder that can cope with his needs...and unfortunately I cannot. I too am divorced, and ex and wider family cannot help either...its so hard but I'm not sure how you can work in this situation.
It took me a while to get my head around it, having worked since I was 14 but you have to do whats best for your children and it won't be forever.

Original poster
ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 12:03

Duggee I hope it gets a little easier for you soon Flowers

The thing is my part time wage from work is about £800. I get an additional £700 in working tax credits on top, so if I left work and went on carers allowance, I’d have about £400 a month (half of wage), and NO working tax credits

OP posts:
Crappyfridays7 · 07/04/2021 12:06

If you work in a hospital have you spoken to your manager and explained the situation and asked if there’s any help you could get?
HR are usually very helpful - my hospital helped me reduce to 15 hours when I was struggling with my son & hours and just life. They were very good. Could you advertise for a nanny to have him in the afternoons and try again with childminders as there might be someone who might have a space come up. I really hope you find a way to keep your job and your son get to nursery.
Whatever happens I really hope it works out for you, sounds like you’ve had a tough time op

cripez · 07/04/2021 12:06

I have a 6yo on full time specialist school and I can't work. I drive him to school and back every day. He doesn't qualify for transport, and wouldn't cope in a taxi anyway, and DH's work is such that he could be called to work at an hours notice, so he cannot block time off for childcare.

So I am f/t carer, and we claim DLA and I get CA.

As a single parent with no other income I think you would be entitled to universal credit too, and help with housing.

cripez · 07/04/2021 12:07

@ShannonKnocks9

Duggee I hope it gets a little easier for you soon Flowers

The thing is my part time wage from work is about £800. I get an additional £700 in working tax credits on top, so if I left work and went on carers allowance, I’d have about £400 a month (half of wage), and NO working tax credits

You would get universal credit though OP
Original poster
ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 12:07

crochet and Where, so many people say similar or the same on any groups on FB I’m on to do with additional needs children Sad it’s so tough.

I think perhaps I’m finding it particularly hard because I had a nice little job going with progression before DS was apparent with his disability and diagnosed. Left to the job I’m in now, but still a job. But that isn’t sustainable anymore either.

I think it’s all just a bit much sometimes. I didn’t envision having a disabled child. I know it’s selfish but I’m only 22 Sad I wanted different.

I’ll get over it, I know

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 07/04/2021 12:08

No it doesn’t - because of a type of disability benefit
That’s incorrect unless you yourself are receiving sda as a premium in housing benefit ( as you are working it can’t be a premium in income support) .
@ShannonKnocks9

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 07/04/2021 12:08

Benefits wise - make sure you've applied for DLA and carer's allowance, then you need to tell tax credits that you have a disabled child. Also, you should be eligible for home to school transport when your DS is school aged. I totally understand the fact that no one will help with childcare though. Also, looking after disabled DC is nothing like parenting a typical child it is 24/7 and therefore I think if you can make it work and you want to it's perfectly acceptable to stay at home. Many, if not most, of the mums I know with severely disabled children have either gone very part time or given up work altogether. Good luck with your decision.

Lougle · 07/04/2021 12:10

@MyDcAreMarvel

No it doesn’t - because of a type of disability benefit That’s incorrect unless you yourself are receiving sda as a premium in housing benefit ( as you are working it can’t be a premium in income support) . *@ShannonKnocks9*
I've been wracking my brains, trying to think of which disability benefit stops transition. I can't think of one.
Original poster
ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 12:11

MyDC Forgive me but I think you are mistaken. The above is probably true but you can also still be receiving tax credits instead of UC if you receive the enhanced rate of disability benefit

OP posts:
Original poster
ShannonKnocks9 · 07/04/2021 12:11

Lougle PIP - Higher rate

OP posts: