I need to start by saying that DH does a lot round the house. We both work in gyms so have been at home 24/7 during every lockdown apart from a few 1-1 clients he’s trained outside on the park near our house and I’ve been on maternity for most of lockdown too. So he loves a clean and tidy house which is great, so do I but if I’m exhausted from our 8 month old then I can easily turn a blind eye until I know I can get stuff done!
Day to day we’ve got into the routine of me doing every feed (EBF) including solid foods at meal times too, every nap, almost every nappy change and she’s still waking in the night 3/4 times and needing help to settle. She’s not the best sleeper but it is improving. I do a lot of the playtime during the day and bits of housework here and there. I’m also the only one who drives so if we need a food shop or anything then it’s me who drives and we all have to go because DD can get really fussy if I’m not around for more than an hour or so.
DH does most of the clothes washing, cooking, general cleaning and hoovering to keep it up to his standards. I’ll do the dishes and put clothes away etc but he does do a good 80% of stuff round the house. On top of all this we’re moving overseas soon, it’s been the most stressful thing to organise, but because I’m better with organising things and structure a lot (not all) of it has fallen on me to plan, pack, book shipping etc. And I’m so stressed and tired. If I actively ask DH to take DD so I can lie in or go have a bath then he does (sometimes with hesitation I might add!) but I feel like I shouldn’t have to ask all the time. She’s his daughter too and I don’t feel I need to be asked to do the dishes when I do etc and it’s really getting to me. He needs the house to be tidy so I help, he needs time to go exercise so I make sure he gets that, but I feel like my needs get pushed aside. His needs and the house come first unless I actively ask for him to have DD for a while. AIBU when he does other things? He has his time chilling on the sofa or playing on his PlayStation which I know he should get but what gets me is I don’t get any of that time. If I just sat down and started playing something or went for a bath without telling him and left him with DD he wouldn’t be happy. What’s your honest opinion? I know it’s not the worst situation but I just feel so flat and tired and un appreciated I guess