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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Snoring is damaging our relationship ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

18 replies

Flowers24 · 07/04/2021 08:59

I'm the snorer, I have no idea when I am doing it and last night for example thought I was fine ..however I kept dh awake again, all night. He even recorded it this time so I could hear it, is sooo loud. Ive tried propping myself up, used nasal strips last night, tried sprays but i dont know what else to do. He is talking of seperate rooms soon as cant cope much longer. I am not overweight , i have a glass of wine most evenings but even if i have no wine I snore.
Getting me down too as i a unaware of it and sleep very deeply.

Anyone got any advice????

OP posts:

AuntieStella · 07/04/2021 09:11

Have you been to the GP?

You can't just stop snoring as it's not under voluntary control. But there are medical interventions to try, and it would be very unfair on your DH if you did not do so

Shoxfordian · 07/04/2021 09:13

If you have separate rooms then do that
My dh and I sleep separately, we’re still very close but we both get our 8 hours and it makes us much happier

Ginuwine · 07/04/2021 09:14

Alcohol is a muscle relaxant. It might well be having an effect on the tissues in the back of your mouth etc.

Is there an option for you to give up the daily wine intake for five-seven days or so and see what effect that has?

If you're not prepared to do that then you might need to go round the houses to find the real answer instead.

Gothichouse40 · 07/04/2021 09:25

Drinking wine daily, hmm not a good idea snoring or not. Try stopping the wine and see if that helps. Honestly, drinking daily is not a good idea, for your general health and well being. It's so easy for alcohol intake to gradually increase and you don't notice. I was told this by a friend who was an alcoholic, sadly, now no longer with us. Due to health issues their alcoholism brought. Re snoring, there are items you can buy, Snore Stoppers? I think you insert them into your nose before sleep but they are not uncomfortable. They may help. If not, perhaps your doctor may advise.

KoalaOok · 07/04/2021 09:56

I'd try not drinking for a week or two and see if that helps. If not then ask your GP. My OH refuses to see the GP about it and it's putting our relationship at serious risk.

EarHub · 26/04/2021 12:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 26/04/2021 12:37

Separate beds.

We were lucky and moved and now we have separate rooms.
I still love him, probably more now I'm not being woken 60 times a night by a Harley Davidson nose

Hankunamatata · 26/04/2021 12:39

Any reason dh doesnt just hop off to the spare room when you start snoring?

delilahbucket · 26/04/2021 12:44

I was the one being kept awake and it really is horrendous. It's torture.
Things that helped dp having been not drinking alcohol at all, getting a firm pillow so he can sleep on his side, sterimar spray, and not dozing in a morning.
I'm a side sleeper and can't sleep in earplugs, and we don't have another bed. I did once try and sleep on the sofa but it awful and I woke up with such bad back pain and a flare up of a muscular skeletal condition I have, I couldn't face it again. I was so close to buying another bed though, I hovered over the buy now button several times.

Wagsandclaws · 26/04/2021 12:46

It might be worth getting tested for sleep apnoea, my Dh has always snores but I put my foot down as it was affecting our relationship abs he now sleeps with a c-pap machine and we both sleep peacefully together.

Sleep apnoea can cause real health issues and it isn't just overweight people that have it. Take a recording to your Gp and aww what he says. Good luck!

idontlikealdi · 26/04/2021 12:48

Separate rooms. We are just embarking on this and I really think it will save the sanity.

We both snore, he can be an absolute pig about it if it's me though and doesn't seem to accept he does snore. I think I'll like him a lot more if I don't have to sleep in the same room as him.

PrudenceDictates · 26/04/2021 12:52

I'm a side sleeper and can't sleep in earplugs

I’m a side sleeper too, and have managed OK with ear plugs. In fact, they’ve saved my marriage, sanity and health. DH snores, but I’ve been sleeping through since getting into ear plugs. I use cheap foam ones.
If I’m not tired I find them annoying, but usually I just nod off to sleep.

You haven’t said if your DH has tried ear plugs yet though, OP; if not, that would be a good next move.

Tisgrand · 26/04/2021 12:58

My DH has been complaining that I snore for a while now. I mentioned it to my GP once or twice in passing but she didn't suggest any remedies. I'm also constantly exhausted.

Then she referred me to an asthma specialist as I've developed asthma lately, mostly wheezing at night. This specialist is a consultant in respiratory and sleep medicine. He told me that a lot of people who develop asthma later in life actually suffer from reflux which they may not even be aware of but which affects their breathing. He put me on tablets to help with reflux.

I'm currently awaiting a sleep study as a result of that consultation. He feels that I may be suffering from hypersomnia whereby I keep waking up during the night (without being aware of waking up). If this is happening I will be given a CPAP machine to wear at night. I know someone who was given one a year ago and by all accounts it has changed his life for the better.

That's a long-winded way of saying see your GP!

user1471462428 · 26/04/2021 13:01

I comment on every sleep apnea thread. You do not have to be overweight to have sleep apnea. You do not have to be male to have sleep apnea. 7 stone 90 year old grannies have OSA so can you. Please please get tested it could save your life (and relationship!).

Horehound · 26/04/2021 13:03

I'm not surprised your DH is talking about separate rooms. It's such an annoying noise and not nice for the other person to be kept awake.
Why haven't you been to the go yet?

SedentaryCat · 26/04/2021 13:05

I used to be the snorer. I was eventually persuaded told by DH to see the GP, who referred me to the sleep clinic. I've been diagnosed with mild obstructive sleep apnoea and use CPAP at night.

I'm not saying you're suffering this, far from it, but it's definitely worth seeing the doctor to rule out any issues.

Espirito · 26/04/2021 13:42

You may have Upper Airway Restriction Syndome (UARS), OP. It has similar effects to sleep apnoea but creates a hypersomnia as mentioned by PP. it's more common in women, causes loud snoring and exhaustion. Signs include having a small nose, overbite and never ever sleeping on your back.

mumwhatnothing · 26/04/2021 13:50

Cpap. It saved my marriage. I am the snorer and have been since I was a very thin teenager. It got horrendous with my fourth child so the kids at the other end of the house (Australian single storey...massive) could hear me and were complaining.

You should see your gp and lay out the problem exactly not beat about the bush

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