Ending my childcare bubble

[Justaonetimeting]

Long story short, another single mum and I made a childcare bubble at the start of lockdown as both our children were in school together and we could do alternate pick ups. It went ok for a while but my dc didn't really get to know her dc before we started it and they don't really get on.
Dc is very passive and shy and my friends dc is very dominant and loud. There were some nights where my dc was shaking and crying in the car before I dropped her off. I felt awful about this but as I had to work and COVID was limiting all options I carried on and told my friend to watch out for dc when she was feeling a bit vulnerable (diplomatically.)
It's quite clear when I see the two of them in any group setting that they are just not friends. They navigate towards other children and that's fine. The afterschool club is starting back up after the holidays so I don't need to put my dc through this anymore.
My problem is that the other mum has mentioned on multiple times making this a long term thing and referenced the summer holidays and sleepovers so we can go on (separate) nights out. As it is I've already had her dc much more during the holidays due to taking annual leave in the term holidays.
I do feel guilty that I might be leaving her in the lurch as she has less family support and is self employed so can't take leave but my dc is really struggling and I feel awful this morning having to drop her off at a house where she doesn't feel comfortable. Other mum seems to be oblivious to this and talks about 'their lovely bond' when one is always in tears and the other is always angry!
How do I break the news?

You just say, "this has been lovely but we will be using the after school club next term as it starts again. Thanks for all your support. "

If she starts asking about next holiday, "I'm sorry I can't commit that far in advance."

(There is a financial benefit to you both to provide support. But if your daughter is unhappy the money saving isn't worth it.)

I would say you’ve got to advocate and be strong here for your DC. Just be kind but honest and say there is a difference in personalities so that you are clear it can’t continue and also that after school club means the arrangement no longer works for you.

Tell her your daughter wants to go back to the after school club and you feel the return to her previous routine would be best.

I just never understand this when people are torn between doing the right thing for their children and pleasing others. Your kids are crying and shaking yet you are very concerned about this woman's childcare? How do you even justify this to yourself?
It's not working out for your children so there shouldn't even be a dilemma. You just tell her nicely that unfortunately you won't be able to do this anymore and leave it at that.

It will be hard bur you owe her to be honest. She will otherwise wonder what she's fine wrong and that's it fair in her.

Continuing with the arrangement is not fair on your child. You need to find the most diplomatic way to say that your children are very different and don't get along best and that indeed, your child feels more comfortable with other kids around.

@AmyLou100 I'm not torn. I'm definitely not carrying on with it but I asked for advice on how to phrase it.

I think you just need to be honest. "Mary and Jane are really quite different personalities, and Mary is no longer enjoying spending so much time with Jane. As school childcare is reopening next term, we feel that this would suit Mary better if she could get back to her old routine".

I agree you have to put your D first here
If you have the means to do so

I don't think you should go Into explaining how their personalities are different. It will undoubtedly rub her up the wrong way. I would just say you are changing the previous routine as it's not working for all of you anymore.

I wouldn't bring their friendship or lack of into it - just say your DD is desperate to go back to the after school club and you think the routine will be beneficial for her, but that you're glad you've been able to help each other out over lockdown.

You owe her nothing and your child everything. Put your child first. End of.

Ah ok just saw your decision advice on ending it.

“Thanks so much for your help, it’s been fab. But dc is begging me to start after school club again so she will be attending from (insert date) so I can’t carry on with pick ups anymore! Sorry! Let me know a date for a sleepover in the summer” (and just hope she never comes to you for a sleep over date or be busy on the days she suggests)

I would also go with the "DC is desperate to get back to after school club and i think a bit of normality will be best for us all. So glad we were able to help each other out and really looking forward to getting a bit of normal life back."

I think commenting on the kids might be upsetting to hear. This has been mutually beneficial so try not to feel too bad. Hopefully over time neither DC will ask about playdates with the other and as more restrictions liift she will have more options. Her DC will be able to have sleepovers with the children they choose to spend time with.