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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is the grass greener elsewhere or is it greenest where you water it?

1 reply

merrynelly · 06/04/2021 18:35

When I was single I thought I’d be happier when in a relationship, that hasn’t been the case. When I was in a relationship, I thought I was truly ready to be a mother. Now I have a 6 month old and I miss being single and child free A LOT. I have thought I would be happier in different jobs, but that is rarely the case. I am CONVINCED I would be happier living in a hotter country but won’t be leaving the UK so the cold weather here leaves me feeling down on a daily basis and yearning for the sunny sights of Los Angeles. I really dislike my current house and feel my environment affects my happiness and that I will be much happier in my next home, but only time will tell with that one. I know that there are people out there who if they had what I have, they would be much happier than me. I think my baseline happiness level is generally pretty low. I try to practice gratitude and all the other things that contribute to happiness but it makes very little difference. I have an idea in my head of what I want my life to look like, and it looks nothing like this currently. And based on past experiences, I wonder if I incorporate all those things into my life, if I will still in fact be unhappy and chasing this supposed happiness which I believe is somewhere else?

OP posts:
Ilovelove · 06/04/2021 18:48

You know the answer to this.
Happiness is not an external state.
It is not a permanent state.
Your search for 'happiness' is leading you a merry dance MerryNelly.
Life is a combination of shit and amazing and sad and happy and mundane and mountaintop all at once. When you accept what you are looking for is not in the next job, its not in the next husband, its not in the next child - then you can start living your life. Your one wild and precious life - thank you Cheryl Strayd (!).

You don't choose everything that happens to you but you do choose what happens next.

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