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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my colleague

109 replies

Iwishiwereheather · 06/04/2021 18:23

So colleague is senior to me but we also have the same manager.

My manager and I have an agreement that I can log out of my phone 3-4pm. Our job isn’t particularly call based and you get like 3 a day max. Due to anxiety I’m allowed this break a day.

Today my manger was off and the senior told me to log in, he said he was aware of the agreement but one time wouldn’t hurt would it?

I think if discussed beforehand then I would have done it but springing it on me with 10 minutes to go I think is very unfair. There were other people logged into their phone so they weren’t left with no one answering calls.

OP posts:
GintyMcGinty · 06/04/2021 18:27

It does sound like your colleague was being unreasonable.

Do you report to this colleague in your line manager's absence? What would have the consequences have been if you had refused?

Mellonsprite · 06/04/2021 18:27

In what capacity was he asking, was he made acting manager for the day?
I’d clear it now with the actual manager that your arrangement still stands, then next time you can say politely ‘no thanks, my arrangements still stands as per my agreement with x manager’.

UhtredRagnarson · 06/04/2021 18:28

I hope you stood your ground and refused on the basis that it was an arrangement made with your manager.

Ileflottante · 06/04/2021 18:29

Why does your anxiety mean you need to log out early? (Asking as someone with a similar MH affliction)

Mistressinthetulips · 06/04/2021 18:30

Is the arrangement a reasonable adjustment due to a disability? A more informal agreement with your manager? Something that came up with occupational health perhaps? I'm wondering if the other colleague had been informed of the agreement and why it was in place - it may not have seemed a big deal to them iyswim. And the manager may not have wished to share private details about your anxiety with others. Speak to your manager to get a plan for what will happen next time.

AIMD · 06/04/2021 18:30

Sound like your colleague was under minding a decision already made by someone senior.

This colleague is senior to your but are they your line manager. If I were the manager who was off today I would be annoyed at my agreement being undermined unless there was a very good reason.

PersonaNonGarter · 06/04/2021 18:32

This is only reasonable or unreasonable with more information. You don’t seem to be saying that you weren’t capable of logging in?

CoRhona · 06/04/2021 18:51

You should have said no. If the agreement has been made with someone senior to him he can't make you.

stalachtiteorstalagmite · 06/04/2021 19:04

I genuinely don't understand how having an hour off the phones has an impact on your anxiety. Do you do other work in that hour? If being on the phones makes you anxious should you consider changing job?

Dunkindonuts8 · 06/04/2021 19:07

I'm just waiting for the massive drip feed on why on earth you need an hour off from answering the phone that apparently hardly ever rings specifically between 3 to 4 pm

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 06/04/2021 19:08

What was the impact of him saying you had to be logged on/logged in to your phone?

VladmirsPoutine · 06/04/2021 19:09

Are you saying that you suffer from anxiety which precludes you from answering your phone generally so to assuage that you're permitted to log out between 3pm-4pm? I.e. close of play?

Hard to tell whether or not yabu based on what you've said.

FireflyRainbow · 06/04/2021 19:15

Do the phones go mad between 3 and 4 which causes your anxiety to peak? Think we need more info.

gingerbiscuit19 · 06/04/2021 19:19

I don't think this is the end of the world, for a one time agreement. What was the reasoning in asking

FireflyRainbow · 06/04/2021 19:19

Sorry just re-read and see you get 3 calls a day max. Why do you need to log off between 3 and 4 for?

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2021 19:23

My manager and I have an agreement that I can log out of my phone 3-4pm. Our job isn’t particularly call based and you get like 3 a day max. Due to anxiety I’m allowed this break a day.

There's genuinely no point in starting this thread if you're not going to explain this Confused

Fairyliz · 06/04/2021 19:26

Is it just me or are there loads of threads just lately where someone posts in aibu then clears off when they get asked questions?
Annoying

Original poster
Iwishiwereheather · 06/04/2021 21:39

@WorraLiberty

My manager and I have an agreement that I can log out of my phone 3-4pm. Our job isn’t particularly call based and you get like 3 a day max. Due to anxiety I’m allowed this break a day.

There's genuinely no point in starting this thread if you're not going to explain this Confused

Because I don’t need to give my full mental health history. I’m giving you the basic facts, it’s an agreement between me and my manager which he is happy with. That’s not the part of aibu.

I’m asking if my colleague is unreasonable telling me to ignore an agreement that’s there to support me.

I’m unsure why someone is also asking if I do other work during this hour (it’s my last working hour of the day), do people genuinely think my manager would agree for me to sit there and do nothing for a total of 5 hours a week? Confused

OP posts:
FlyingBurrito · 06/04/2021 21:54

What kind of work is it? I haven't come across the term logging out of a phone before. Maybe everyone else knows what this is and what the impact would be but without understanding the job I can't say.

If you don't get any calls what is the actual issue?

KoalaOok · 06/04/2021 22:05

It might be so OP has an hour a day when she knows she definitely won't be on the phone so has a bit of a breather from the anxiety that someone might phone. Just a thought as I work with someone who hates that she can just be rung at anytime.

If this is an adjustment made by your manager for your anxiety then I think you should be permitted to keep it when manager is not there.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 06/04/2021 22:05

This is the wrong place to ask; lots of people here sneer at anxiety and think it's a euphemism for attention seeking or laziness. Sounds like your colleague is of the same ilk.

Yanbu

AtLeastPretendToCare · 06/04/2021 22:08

I’m unclear, why did your colleague want you logged into the phone today? What reason did they give?

FangsForTheMemory · 06/04/2021 22:08

It sounds to me as if he was playing power games. I would report this.

KoalaOok · 06/04/2021 22:08

If your colleague said they were aware of the agreement they should have let it stand. Or at the very least ask in private and say look we are absolutely swamped with calls do you mind this once, if not that's fine no pressure. But it sounds like the calls weren't busy.

FlyingBurrito · 06/04/2021 22:15

@KoalaOok

It might be so OP has an hour a day when she knows she definitely won't be on the phone so has a bit of a breather from the anxiety that someone might phone. Just a thought as I work with someone who hates that she can just be rung at anytime.

If this is an adjustment made by your manager for your anxiety then I think you should be permitted to keep it when manager is not there.

She says she gets 3 calls a day which is why I think posters are asking for a little more information. I don't think we're discussing a high pressure call centre type job

It's fine if she doesn't want to give any more information but then no one can know where any unreasonableness lies so the thread becomes pointless