To ask what can your 8 year old do?

[Username172828]

Trying to teach my son to be more independent. He expects everything done for him and now it's time for a change. He makes his bed every morning and will put his clothes in the wash basket. He know how to make himself toast and a drink. He still doesn't know how to tie his shoelaces and will not get himself a snack even though these are easiky accessible. He can dress himself but I still pick out his clothes. Will you tell me about your 8 year old please?

DS7 can do, either entirely independently, or if we ask him to:

• Make own bed
• Put dirty clothes in laundry, take full basket to utility
• Will help remove and sort clothes from dryer and airer, and independently put clean clothes back in bedroom drawers
• Lay table
• Clear table
• Feed cat
• Use the mini dyson to vacuum up crumbs
• Tidy room and play area
• Showers himself
• Can make own breakfast, including microwave porridge, toast etc
• Can make a sandwich and snacks
• Will be expected to make some of his packed lunches from this September
• Has been emptying dishwasher since he was about 5 (except for sharp knives)
• Dresses himself (we have no say in clothing)
• Packs his school bag
• As long as I provide a list he will also pack his own holiday bags
• Can bake with help
• Dusts piano and today offered to dust all the pictures (must have been bored)
• Helps wash car
• Writes on the shopping list if we run out of stuff

• Not sure about laces, maybe that's something he could learn these holidays!

DD is 11 and in addition to the above is fully capable of cooking entire meals from scratch (curries, homemade pizza, pasta dishes, chilli) and also an excellent baker. She's been a lifesaver over lockdown. She can also polish silver.

We take beavers camping or residential (age 5-8) and they ALL dress themselves, make own beds, attend to basic hygiene, lay tables, put up tents in teams, make sandwiches, prepare fruit and vegetables, wash up and dry pots, pack own bags to go home, stuff sleeping bags. The older ones help the younger ones or sometimes the other way round! My own 8yo can lay and light a fire, bake a cake, make simple meals, empty the dishwasher, dress, tie laces, feed the cats.

Mines a bit lazy, but he’s doing ok. He’s 7. He gets up before everyone and spends an hour pottering about quietly and gets his own breakfast. Gets everything ready for school, but I do his lunch. He feeds dog and tidies room a bit before school.
On evenings and weekend we set timer for 20mins and all have a room to tidy, so he usually does the lounge or the hall area. He can make himself and his siblings a snack and drink, and helps set and clear. He can chop and peel veg, and collect required veg from veg patch. He’s good at weeding, sewing, and watering. He can help clean out chickens and feed them, collect the eggs.

Today 8 yo DS has:

• made waffle mix for both of us for breakfast
• helped unload the dishwasher with me
• chosen his own clothes and dressed
• tied shoelaces (badly, I had to tell him to do them again)
• taken over the stir fry veg chopping so he could choose the shapes
• chosen and got our morning snack
• unlocked the garage and got his bike out
• helped paint a wall in his bedroom
• put some of his dirty clothes in the basket
• put some books away and done a bit of riding

The putting away of clean clothes remains an impossible mystery to him though 🙂

My 8 year old makes her own breakfast and has done for a couple of years now. She can make coffee but it never tastes very good . She gets herself lunch if it’s just packed lunch type stuff. She tidies her room, has a go at changing her bedding, has been able to tie shoelaces for 2 years, baths herself, brushes her own hair and sorts her school stuff the night before. She washes her dishes up and loads her dirty washing into the machine when it’s laundry day.

She’s pretty independent I’d say but she does have two older siblings close in age who have paved the way I guess. She doesn’t want to be left behind. There’s no way I’d choose her outfits, she very much has her own sense of style!

I think there's a big difference at 8 between what they can do and what they will do. My 8yo can make a PowerPoint presentation including videos and sound. If I ask him to choose what he wants for dinner, he can react as if this is well beyond him.

My DD is almost 7 she showers her self, moisturisers her skin day and night,ties her own laces,Hoover's the living room &stairs,help chop veg,feeds the dog,makes her own cereals,and sandwiches,makes her own bed and put her washing in to darks and lights and loads the washing machine,gets her self ready in the morning & can make a cup of tea but I always make sure I'm in the kitchen,she's very independent,our next step is learning her how to wash dishes properly.

This is really interesting thanks OP. DS has just turned 9 and I often think he could be more independent.
He can -
Tie his shoelaces. He learnt this around a year ago but a summer spent on cross and pumps has meant we've had to do more practice.
Make toast, get drinks and snacks. Make a sandwich.
Make tea and coffee, including the coffee machine for cappuccino etc.
Put laundry in baskets
Dust and tidy
Shower independently but I occasionally help with hair as it can be half hearted.
Bake with minimal supervision
Water plants and weed
He sets the table every day that's a daily job for him.
Tell the time.
Clean his football boots.

This week we're starting a weekly cooking day for him. He chooses the meal he'd like to make, I'll make sure he has ingredients then he's in charge of cooking with my help where needed.
I've also started letting him go and pay in shops alone. In our village shop I'm happy to wait outside while he goes in as we know the staff and he knows where everything is. If we're in a supermarket and he wants to use pocket money he goes to the till himself.

@Dahlietta so true. I've listed the things DS can do, but often after lots of moaning!
One thing he can't do is stay in bloody bed past 7 am 🙄

My 8 year old can do the following

Make/change bed
Clean room
Shower/bathe independently (including hair)
Dress self and put clothes in laundry basket
Make breakfast (cereal/toast etc)
Make lunch (sandwich/soup etc)
Make tea/ hot chocolate
Dust/polish/hoover
Tie shoe laces
Hammer and saw stuff (with supervision she built an amazing cold frame)
She can apply amazing wing tip eyeliner too. No idea how or why I'm useless at makeup.

She is and always has been fiercely independant and even when small wouldn't let you help. She likes to learn new skills and apply them. Shame my 10 year old is not as motivated, although she can do all the above (bar make up she hates it), she would actively choose to let someone else do it for her.

“I think there's a big difference at 8 between what they can do and what they will do.”

Yes this. I think children are often more capable than we think. I know in the pre-school my daughter attended all the 3/4 year olds scrape their plate and sort cutlery etc. I’d bet most don’t do it at home.

My 4yo has wanted to be independent since she was tiny. Dressing, getting breakfast herself etc so it’s interesting to see some of the next steps mentioned here for slightly older children. How have people introduced things like the hob or kettle and when? That feels like a bit of a step up.

@EnglishGirlApproximately, oh goodness yes, the moaning! DS will happily bake a cake from scratch by himself with just a bit of help in and out of the oven, but if I ask him to brush his teeth or put his socks on...