To expect dd to sleep the night through now?

[Peppery123]

She is 24 weeks...nearly 6 calendar months. Iv been told that now is when they start slweping through....shes not...yet. but AIBU to expect it?
I know I will most likely get loads of responses with 3 and 4 year olds still not sleeping the night through. I get it, Im not trying to say that she SHOULD be sleeping through..its actually my health visitor who saw me last week and my huge, unmissable eye bags, and commented well shes nearly 6 months so she will be sleeping longer now and maybe through the night.
Just hanging onto to those words with immense hope. She said most mothers she sees it all starts to get better come after 6 months.
Some nice postives anecdotes would be good to hear. Anyone?

I think your health visitor was trying to cheer you up and give you something to look forward to.
I do not expect a six month old to sleep through the night. At all.

Totally depends what you’re counting as ‘sleeping through’! DD has been able to do 8 hours on the bounce since she was about 6 months but that still only takes us from 7.30pm - 3.30pm. She’s now 8 months and broadly following a similar pattern, although some nights she can do 7.30pm - 5.30am so it’s slowly stretching out. Her sleep noticeably improved when we started formula at 4 months (I suspect she was waking hungry but she takes a big bottle at bedtime and now doesn’t feed til 7am), upon moving into her own room & weaning at 6 months. I know she’s capable of self-settling as we hear her do it in the early part of the night, but I think when she wakes in the wee hours she just wants us (she always goes back down after a cuddle) so my theory is we just need to ride it out now until she’s bigger!

Following since we’re in exactly the same boat at 24 weeks, big sympathies @Peppery123.

Last week we we had hourly wake ups at night and max 30 min naps during the day. Following wake windows, trying to go down at first sign on tiredness etc. Been following a set bedtime routine usually starting around 6-7pm depending on naps, but no sleeping through yet.

Having said that, yesterday we were both so knackered that the last nap of the day ended up as a contact nap, completely missed bedtime routine, and managed to extend into a 6 hour stretch!! Go figure!

I found my daughter slept longer once she was eating more. About 8 months. But sleeping through was often just 10/11 to 5!

There are lots of things that affect it and every child is different. They need to be able to self-settle, as they often wake in the night, and that is best achieved if you put them down fully awake at a good hour (I mean, don't let them fall asleep on you and then transfer them, for example). Putting down after 7-7:30 could be counterproductive as they might be over-tired, which normally means a more disrupted night.

If you breastfeed they may wake more as it's easier for a baby to metabolise breast milk. They often start sleeping longer after growing a bit and getting a larger stomach, and eating more in the way of solids 😁

I found though, that the over-tired thing is really significant. Get a routine established, read a book so your voice soothes your baby and lay them down at the same time each day; say start the routine at 6/6:30. Also ensure good naps in the day. Mine did about 2 hours at 9:30am ish then about 1 hour around 2pm.

Babies derive security from order and routine; they form a picture of the world from their surroundings. There have been observations of babies being unsettled by one thing that they are used to seeing in one place having moved to another.

I expect it will happen very soon. Bear in mind too that some babies just don't need much sleep (a terrifying thought, but apparently the case).

Sleep deprivation is the pits.

DS didn't sleep through until he was 4yo. DD was sleeping through or waking once for a two minute feed from about 8mo. Did exactly the same with them both..

Ignore your HV, in my experience they give very questionable advice.

Yeah, your main problem is listening to whatever nonsense a health visitor says.

Not trying to make you feel bad OP but my 11 year old didnt sleep through until 5ish and still wakes me up a couple nights a month. She does this by standing next to my bed and staring at me until I wake up 😱.
On the other hand my 10 year old has slept through since 4 weeks old. It's honestly crap-shoot. No children are the same in regards to sleep.

Everything that everyone else said.

Also, it's the expectation that's the killer with it. The hope that tonight will be the night that you'll get a WHOLE NIGHT of sleep. I found that once I adjusted my mindset that I would get enough sleep, it just wouldn't be all at once, it really helped. It meant that I resented the wakings much less and was able to deal with it all far easier.

Dd did slept through( 7-6)from 12 months ! Ds is 10 months today and still wakes every hour , I’m praying he follows suit 😄

I don’t know any babies that slept through at that age. DD has just started at 18 months but it’s not consistent.
It’s a normal biological function to wake, and not something to try and stop.

Of course I also agree with the definition of 'sleeping through' - as PP said I think it's 'defined' as 5 hours without waking, but 8 hours is also a cited figure. You will still have to get up once, I'd say!

At 6 months, DS seemed no where near sleeping through. At 6.5 months he occasionally started sleeping 8pm-1am/2am, so knowing he was capable of that, we did some very loose sleep training and trying not to go in feed him until after 1am. We based it around his 2 different cries: one more of a grumble/ complaining cry and if you went into him he'd be full of smiles straight away (So for this cry we tried leaving him for 5 minutes to see if he'd go back to sleep himself). His other cry was full on tears and sobs and continued for a bit if you picked him up until he'd settled again (So for this cry I went into him and usually fed him).

This worked well, so then we started using it any time he woke after 1am. We'd leave him for 5 minutes to see if he could settle himself. And we did this very loosely, so there were times I'd get up straight away to him as I could just tell he really needed me.

By 7 months he slept through 11-12 hours every night (And I finally felt human again). From 8 months I'd have been absolutely confident in leaving him with grandparents over night knowing that they'd not hear a thing from him all night.

It's been a year now since he started sleeping through and the only time he had woken in the night is when he's had a cold (which thanks to Covid restrictions has only been twice in the year). Who knows whether he's just a 'good sleeper' naturally and would have got there himself, but I think the sleep training we put in was really important in him learning to self settle- sleep training doesn't have to mean 'cry it out'.

@EugenesAxe mine just doesn’t need much sleep I think. Woke every 2 hrs until 18months. Now at 2, he had a rendition of twinkle twinkle on repeat at 4am last night

Has rarely been miserable from lack of sleep and is always full of energy. I think they just don’t need much sleep.

As for us? Well...

I don’t see why not but they are all different. My first didn’t sleep through until 18 months. The second slept through 12 hour stretch from 3 week , never regressed. I have to say I don’t think it’s rare for babies to sleep through, all my friends babies did, but it’s a long time ago now and it was expected that babies slept through then, it was considered normal.

Very sorry to say YABU. It's tough.
Dc1 did sleep through by about 7 months but always woke at about 4am.
Dc2 slept well generally, apart from climbing into our bed every night until he was 4.
Dc3 has just started sleeping through and she is 2.

My first started sleeping through at 2m, stopped at 3m, started again at about 10m, stopped at about 11m, and since then we've had a few phases of it, interspersed with more wake ups. It's mostly settled now she's nearly 4, but still is up at least 4 nights a week albiet usually briefly.

My nearly 2yo, started sleeping through 2 weeks ago. I'll enjoy it while it lasts, as the next regression or teething is likely to throw her off again. Her worst period was 9-12m ish when she was either waking literally 10+ times a night, or for a 3h segment in the middle of the night. And then I was getting up to work.

The upshot being, yes I think 6m is too early to be expecting them to sleep through, and most of my friends children have been nowhere near this (a year plus at least minimum). So, given this may be a bit long haul, you need to make sure they you and your partner out in place measures to maximize your rest. If your baby is bottle or mix fed, he can alternate nights, or take part of the nights, to ensure you get some rest. He can get up in the morning and leave you sleeping as long as possible etc.

Hopefully baby will start sleeping better and these measures won't then be needed, but don't wait thinking that it's likely to be resolved soon, and staying exhausted in the meantime.

Sleeping through at that age is defined as sleeping for 5 uninterrupted hours. And I imagine you'd be pleased with that...

But babies don't read the books. I had one perfect sleeper - down at 7-ish, dream feed at 10, would sleep until 7.30. From 10 weeks old, and fully breastfed. The second one - not so much. After 6 weeks you could set the clock by her - feed at 11.30, feed at 2.30, through till 7. Which was still pretty good, but once I was back at work, it was hard. She kept it up till almost 1 and was absolutely hungry - she'd drain both sides in 15 minutes flat and conk out again.

I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry to stop all night feeds at 6 months.

DS slept through 10-12 hours from 3-4 months, DSD is 9 years old and still doesn’t sleep through.
Kids are different and there’s not much point in worrying what they should be doing at any given time, they get there in their own time. 💐

I have a 6 month old (and a 4.5 and 6 year olds). I’d say the single biggest difference in each of my children is my lack of expectation when it comes to sleep.

With DC1 I was always exhausted (even though in hindsight he probably wasn’t that awful!) because my expectations were off (along with constant comparisons to other NCT babies).

This baby, I co sleep, breastfeed when he wakes and have zero expectations, and it’s so much better! I don’t get cross or anxious about sleep in the same way.

(Btw, he’s nowhere near sleeping through, the best we’ve had was one night when he only woke once, but that was only one night 🤷‍♀️)

So I do also have two other dds who slept through 1st one fron 1 month old (no kidding), I even got given a sleep diary as one of my gifts and you can see she was just going longer and longer each month..started doing 6 hour stretch from 1 month. Apparently I was told 6 hour plus is classed as sleeping through but 12 hours is the ultimate goal!
My 2nd dd slept through from 5 months!
So I guess im not being unrealistic going off past figures lol.
However, I must say with this dd she has always been a very disturbed sleeper since birth, very light, needed lots of soothing, swaddling, tried every grobag going, white noise which improved her sleep so I cant imagine how it would be without these.
She goes down at 7pm, wakes at 9pm, up again at 3am and for some reason takes ages to get back to sleep so on average she goes back to sleep around 4/5am even with a feed, soothing then she is up for the day at 6.30 onwards.
The part I find difficult is going back to sleep as because shes up for that long im wide awake! Most nights I dont go back to sleep esp when shes gone back down at 5am

Started cosleeping at 6months and she started sleeping through.

Sorry forgot to say thats on a good nights sleep and the 9pm wake up is sometimes 10pm, basically she hasnt done a 6 hour full stretch yet

I thought you were going to say DC was 5yo or something. Sorry OP.

Totally agree with @Luckystar1 and @LBOCS2 that it’s about amending your expectations. As soon as you accept that yeh, it’s shit, but it won’t be forever, things feel much easier. Basically just give up on hope for a while Seriously though, despite being a decent night sleeper, DD is a crap napper and it’s vanishingly rare I get more than 40 mins out of her in the day. As a result I’m sat here and she’s been down 1h 5m so far and the last 25 mins have felt like a total bonus! If I was expecting 1.5hrs every time as the books ‘suggest’ then most naps would feel like I’d been robbed of 45m.