Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS wants to go to Sri Lanka

61 replies

11112222 · 05/04/2021 17:03

DS is on a gap year and wants to go to Sri Lanka volunteering through an organised scheme.

Dh and I can't decide if it's a good idea or not. DS just about has enough money to pay for hotel quarantine on return if necessary, but that would clear out all his money before heading off to uni in Sept.

Obviously, he is nearly 19, and will make his own decision, but as a parent, what would be your advice to him?

OP posts:
hotsouple · 05/04/2021 20:48

Ever since Richard Huckle and the general pedophilia/sexual exploitation scandals all over the international aid sector, I've looked at men and boys who engage in voluntourism differently. It's almost like announcing you went on a solo trip to Thailand. I side eye it more than I did before when I thought it was simply exploitative, ineffectual and white savior-y. As a young woman on the dating scene, I would mark it as a red flag (sadly.)

Original poster
11112222 · 05/04/2021 20:57

hotsouple
I'm sorry you feel that way.

OP posts:
FTEngineerM · 05/04/2021 21:00

I travelled to Sri Lanka as a lone 23 year old female, I loved it! Went almost around the whole island, stayed in a locals house, looked after some elephants, partied on the beach, caught a fish and cooked it.

Arrak is fantastic and there’s no hang over. The police will ask for bribes OFTEN. Not much though so don’t worry too much. There is quite a lot of people living hand to mouth but they are willing to share everything, it was magical. They also, obviously, expect you to share too.

Original poster
11112222 · 05/04/2021 21:09

The area he's looking at is Galle in the South West. Where the cricket ground is. This, I would imagine, influenced his choice of placement!

OP posts:
skeggycaggy · 05/04/2021 21:12

Galle is very nice - pretty wealthy tbh with lots of boutique shops, hotels & holiday homes. Further along the coast there’s a fairly strong surf scene with lots of westerners visiting. The standard of English is high tbh.

We spent 2 months in Sri Lanka in 2018, A very easy place to travel with kids.

Plumedenom · 05/04/2021 21:17

I also wouldn't see TEFL as "white saviour" behaviour. That's something that is appreciated even in Europe. Always good to have a mother tongue speaker, even if in Sri Lanka the standard is already pretty high. Saw the kids going to school there. Their uniforms put most English school kids to shame!

ineedaholidaynow · 05/04/2021 21:21

Why can't he volunteer in this country if he wants to volunteer. Why travel during a pandemic, where for 4 weeks he really isn't going to make any difference.

Original poster
11112222 · 05/04/2021 21:41

ineedaholidaynow
because he wants to travel.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 05/04/2021 21:46

@Plumedenom

I also wouldn't see TEFL as "white saviour" behaviour. That's something that is appreciated even in Europe. Always good to have a mother tongue speaker, even if in Sri Lanka the standard is already pretty high. Saw the kids going to school there. Their uniforms put most English school kids to shame!
For 4 weeks... Come off it 🙄
ineedaholidaynow · 05/04/2021 22:01

Then travel at some other time. How much is he really going to help. Let’s be honest he is going on holiday

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 05/04/2021 22:16

After many years of war isn’t there recent troubles in Sri Lanka for the Tamils? It’s painted as a tourist paradise but there is a lot going on under the bonnet.

Original poster
11112222 · 05/04/2021 22:29

ineedaholidaynow
yes. He wants to travel somewhere exciting whilst he has the time and money.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 05/04/2021 22:53

And he thinks travelling in a pandemic is a good idea

GreyhoundG1rl · 05/04/2021 22:55

@11112222

ineedaholidaynow yes. He wants to travel somewhere exciting whilst he has the time and money.
So why pretend he's altruistically "volunteering"? Not that anyone believed it anyway.
OhWhyNot · 05/04/2021 22:58

His heart is in the right place but these roles are just a form of tourism and at times takes away from local economy. I’ve seen young European project managers bossing around locals like they have no idea and it’s uncomfortable. Sri Lanka has huge issues with poverty there isn’t enough work for locals to earn a decent living thats why so many rely on families abroad

Sri Lanka is absolutely beautiful with friendly warm people.

Life in Colombo has few restrictions at present but if they go back into lock down it’s harsh and there is no pushing the rules there you follow them

There have been troubles in Sri Lanka for many years things settled down then problems started again. It’s fragile but as long as the advice where to not travel to it’s a safe country

HeadLikeAFuckinOrange · 05/04/2021 23:00

yes. He wants to travel somewhere exciting whilst he has the time and money.

So, a holiday Grin
And it's pretty disingenuous to frame a 'fun and exciting' holiday as a good deed for less fortunate people as justification for travelling during a global health crisis, tbh.

Original poster
11112222 · 05/04/2021 23:03

ok, to be a bit clearer, he wants to travel somewhere exciting, but not completely on his own. He wants an organised trip, which he can afford. tbh, volunteering is not his main reason for going. But he likes the idea of meeting local people, rather than being on a resort full of english holiday makers.
My OP was about what we should be making sure he has considered, regarding travelling in a pandemic. He is almost 19, so I can't stop him going if he wants to.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 05/04/2021 23:05

My OP was about what we should be making sure he has considered, regarding travelling in a pandemic
The wisdom of travelling in a pandemic, maybe?

ameliajanes · 05/04/2021 23:08

@kwiksavenofrillsusername

Voluntourism is a bit rubbish for communities and now isn’t a great time to travel. If he wants a holiday in Sri Lanka, maybe he could go next year during uni summer holidays? We used to finish around May and not go back until early October, so he’d have a few months to see the place.

Wasn’t Sri Lanka advised against pre-pandemic because of the terror attack in a church? Might be worth also checking if it’s safe outside of COVID.

My DS was supposed to go there on a six month placement a few months after that, the company cancelled it as a direct result.
Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 05/04/2021 23:09

@11112222

ineedaholidaynow because he wants to travel.
Many people do but there is a pandemic so they cannot. This is just rule bending for selfish reasons so he shouldn’t go.
HeadLikeAFuckinOrange · 05/04/2021 23:20

This is just rule bending for selfish reasons so he shouldn’t go.

Exactly, if he wants to have a holiday then he should just own that decision! Tell people he's going to Asia for a long holiday, he won't be the first teenager to only think about their own wants!
But it's in really poor taste to frame it as though he's doing it for altruistic reasons, when it's the exact opposite.

MyBunnysBilly · 05/04/2021 23:31

I volunteered for 4 months in Sri Lanka. It is a beautiful country however I have very mixed feelings about voluntourism now, it’s difficult to make any real change in a matter of months and I realised that most of the volunteers are largely there to travel and not to do any good. I had a professional, vocational degree linked to the area I was volunteering in but this wasn’t really utilised. The experience was also overpriced.

I was raped by a local whilst out there so I do appreciate that may have clouded my judgement but I don’t think all of the volunteer organisations are as safe as they make themselves out to be and because most of the volunteers are young there is a drinking culture at weekends, a lot of the volunteers were regularly taking drugs which is a crime punishable by death in Sri Lanka, and just generally I feel like the volunteers brought a party atmosphere which wasn’t really respected by many of the locals or which was taken advantage of. The country is beautiful and I did have some positive experiences out there too but it is not a country with a drinking/ party culture and I think because of that the places where these parties are happening are risky. If your son genuinely wants to travel and see a beautiful country with delicious food and great historical and natural landmarks I would recommend it but if he wants to drink and go to beach parties etc I would say it’s not the best place to go, especially as a teenager.

OhWhyNot · 05/04/2021 23:34

He is young I think people are being harsh.

Many of us went backpacking and thought we were real travellers and far more in touch with the locals because we didn’t stay in fancy hotels and had a copy of Lonely Planet sticking out of our rucksack Smile

That’s the beauty of being young naive, think you know everything and you are idealistic. But travelling can open your eyes I certainly appreciate how lucky we are here from seeing and knowing first hand how harsh life is in so many countries

I hope when it’s safe to travel he enjoys Sri Lanka they desperately need tourists to return and it’s a beautiful country

OhWhyNot · 05/04/2021 23:37

MyBunnysBilly I am very sorry to read what happened to you.

I agree it’s not a party place like Thailand and that has its dangers too.

LolaButt · 05/04/2021 23:52

@JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil I thought this too. I remember watching the documentary (killing fields of Sri Lanka) and it’s one of those issues which pops into my head every so often as it was just so awful.