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Are there people who you haven't seen for over a year due to Covid that you dont feel comfortable about picking up where you left off?

4 replies

ConeHat · 05/04/2021 13:05

Because there has been zero contact by any means in that time?

For example my dh aunt and uncle. No contact at all, no Christmas cards or anything so it feels like the relationship has been missing for so long it should be declared officially dead. We was the ones visiting with the kids and making the effect so it was probably dieing anyway but....

The one that really pisses me off is my disabled sons school home link worker. Before covid I saw here every six weeks. She had to have meeting with me at the least before every meeting with his disability socail worker but during covid she is MIA. I phoned her for meeting in January and she just said meeting up was illegal ( like zoom and using the phone maybe?)

During the most exceptional time in living history she wasnt there. I dont see why I need her when life goes back to normal now. It feels like she isnt invested and it's just a job. So much has happened this year that she isnt aware of like me being in hospital seriously ill, my other child going through a ADOS. I dread having to recall the last 18 months to "get her up to speed". She could have phoned me easily at any point during lockdown.

Anyone else dreading seeing some people due to lack of communication? I would like to bin the HSLW off but as ds has a disability SW that might be tricky.....

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


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ComtesseDeSpair · 05/04/2021 13:19

Whilst it’s clearly hurtful, I don’t think you can entirely reasonably expect a personal relationship under restrictions with someone who, whilst she may genuinely care for your DC, is ultimately paid for her work and to support the needs of a number of children. She couldn’t safely (or legally) meet up with all of her service users, and may have had her entire working schedule and pattern changed (has she been working, or furloughed?) Understandably you feel like you have a personal relationship with her because of the context, but she’s a professional and to her it’s a job. If she’s good at her job and advocates well for your DC and helps him to get what he needs, then don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

Aunt and uncle, disappointing. If they don’t bring anything to your life and you to theirs, I think just not picking up where you left off is a good idea. There are a few people I won’t be making an effort to see, and it will no doubt be a mutual thing. We haven’t missed each other and so will make small talk when we meet at parties etc from now on, but nothing requiring more effort.


1stTimeMama · 05/04/2021 13:35

Any of my family, apart from my parents. They are the only ones we've seen in more than a year, or who have been in contact, despite us having had a new baby in the midst of it all too.
MIL, speaks to my husband once a week, maybe every other. Never bothers with the children, I've nothing to say to her.


ConeHat · 05/04/2021 13:55

@ComtesseDeSpair no I dont, any never had a personal relationship with the HLW. I think I must have explained that badly. We have a professional relationship. She knows my life inside out. I dont know her at all. She two kids I think. That's all I know. But it's a professional relationship I dont want to continue. She was paid the same wage during covid to touch base with me.

The problem I have is that I dont want, when she allowed to visit in person, is to update her on the past year of our life events. I dont want to as just thinking about trying to recall all in my ins and outs is exhausting just to think about. The SW has touched based every six weeks regardless of the pandemic. So he is up to date, why pick up from over a year ago with the HLW? She was paid paid the same as him. Yes she was working throughout as she was on the zoom calls the SW set up.

OP posts:

ConeHat · 05/04/2021 13:56

Its the same dilemma as my aunt though. How was your year? I dont care to recall an entire year to you thanks for finally asking.

OP posts:
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