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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to become a teacher?

55 replies

Heartofstrings · 05/04/2021 10:17

Not sure why I feel the need to post this.

I have 2 kids - age 3 and 4 and a husband who is a student.

Eldest boy starts school in sept, youngest boy starts the year after.

I left teaching 8 years ago due to mental health issues. I've been tutoring since and work is busy. The variable income is stressful though and I work late into the evenings 4 nights a week.

I worry that I won't see my eldest boy when he starts school.

Is this an awful idea?I can't work it out

OP posts:

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 05/04/2021 10:23

I wouldn’t because I don’t think full time teaching is compatible with young children. I suppose it depends whether your husband can be there. You’ll be used to working evenings and I understand that a regular income is preferable though.

My children were 10 and 8 when I went back part time and 10 and 12 when I did full time. I did bits of supply and tutoring when they were younger. Now, I think it’s even harder, but if you have good support, that would help.

Maireas · 05/04/2021 10:24

So, this isn't about becoming a teacher, it's about returning to teaching? Why did you leave before - were the problems related to the job, or was it other factors?

cansu · 05/04/2021 10:26

Are you primary or secondary? What was it about the job that made you give it up? Did it contribute to your mental health probs? Was it that particular school or teaching in general?
Pros
Pension, job security if you can get a permanent contract, pay throughout whole year stable, sick pay etc.
Cons
stress, workload - you may be working in the evenings anyway. I don't know any teachers esp primary who don't work in their own time.
lack of flexibility if kids sick etc

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 05/04/2021 10:27

Last time... Was it teaching that was the issue, or your school?

Iom92 · 05/04/2021 10:28

I’ve taught for over 15 years now, but I’ve been part time since having my children. Lots of people teach full time and have children, and love it. Personally, it’s not for me. It is not a family friendly career, there are huge amounts of stress and pressure and the working week is long. I do love my job but wouldn’t advise anyone with young children to go into it.

Mistressinthetulips · 05/04/2021 10:30

What are your tutoring hours? Sounds like you might be around before and after school, which you certainly won't be if you teach in a school. When will your dh start earning?

deedeemegadoodoo · 05/04/2021 10:35

I suppose it depends what you teach. Workload in Primary is heavy. In Secondary, core subjects have a lot of pressure and the marking workload in English or humanities causes stress. Some subjects have extra curricular eg art, drama PE. It has been great not to have OFSTED looming and the pressure around that from SLT.

Original poster

Heartofstrings · 05/04/2021 10:42

Currently I work 40 hours over 4 days (plus extra admin and marketing) - 10am till 8pm. Husband isn't working at the moment so will be able to facilitate any change in hours.

I just don't know what to do.

I don't think it was the job or the teaching but more my mental health. 12 months ago I started antidepressants and I'm right as rain now.

OP posts:

Mistressinthetulips · 05/04/2021 10:43

Well financially would part time teaching pay as much as your full time tutoring? Or less? Could your dh get a part time job too, if this is a financial concern?

theluckiest · 05/04/2021 10:44

I'm a primary teacher and I trained when my DC were v small. I must've been completely mad!!! I do love it but I was v fortunate to have landed in a great school and have a very supportive DH & wider family who helped me.

To be honest, although tutoring sounds stressful in terms of variable income, the additional hours are definitely on a par. At the moment, you have the freedom to choose your hours and I think this is a major plus in your situation.

Totally depends on if you're primary or secondary, have rock-solid childcare and want the relentlessness of classroom teaching again.

I'll be totally honest - it's hideous at the moment. The last year has exacerbated all the stresses and pressures of 'normal' teaching. There's been lots of talk about supporting children's mental health and easing pressure on them academically but because of the lost months, I'm finding the reality is sadly 'business as usual' and then some.

There's also a lot of applications for every teaching post so you'd be competing with all the NQTs who didn't get posts last year due to lockdowns.

Sorry to sound negative!! If your current tutoring work is going well, I'd stick with it for a while longer until your DC are a little older and the fog has lifted on the current state of education a bit more.

thegreenlight · 05/04/2021 10:46

You left 8 years ago - teaching has got SO much more stressful. The curriculum has been shifted down 2 years, children judged against arbitrary ‘end of year expectations’. Poorer behaviour from children with no sanctions (apart from useless positive behaviour policies). If you didn’t cope then with no kids, you definitely won’t cope now. Harsh but true. I have seen lots of colleagues eaten alive by the current system - don’t let yourself be one of them.

Letseatgrandma · 05/04/2021 10:47

Your thread isn’t about becoming a teacher but about returning to the job.

Can you list the reasons why you left?

Superstardjs · 05/04/2021 10:49

If you found it stressful before and don't want to miss out on your own children growing up, don't do it. You will not see first days or nativity plays and yes someone always comes on to say their HT lets them, but that is an exception not a rule. The workload will be more than you have now and presumably your husband will not be studying forever so you will have to factor in watertight childcare arrangements.

rawlikesushi · 05/04/2021 10:49

I am a full time primary teacher and work 8-5. I never take work home or do anything on weekends or holidays. I know I'm lucky in terms of my school, because those are typical hours here. I would have thought that teaching would be easier than tutoring for ten hours every day, pay more, provide better holidays and pension benefits. If you find the right school, manage your time well and look after your mental health, it would be better than what you're doing now.

Ace56 · 05/04/2021 10:52

I wouldn’t. Teaching full time is almost impossible with young children - also, you gave it up before for a reason! It definitely is NOT a profession which is kind to your mental health...I say this as a fellow ex-teacher.

thegreenlight · 05/04/2021 10:52

rawlikesushi How! You’re in front of children 8.20 - 3.25 I’m guessing, when do you fit in planning and assessment? Putting up displays? Making resources? Subject management? I’m baffled and I’m pretty lucky with my work life balance!

Sarah180818 · 05/04/2021 10:56

I teach secondary full time and I have three children: 10, nearly 4 and 1. My DD, 10 goes to before and after school club so I don't get to take her to her class and collect her but she loves it at club and loves playing with all of her friends. My two DS are in nursery 8 til 5, but, again they are so happy there. The weeks are tough juggling everything but I love teaching and we make the most of the weekends and the holidays and do loads with the kids so I don't feel they miss out. Also, I don't feel I miss out on picking my daughter up from her classroom, I just hear about her day when I pick her up from club. My friend is in primary and teaches 3 days a week so she gets to take her DC in twice a week. I don't agree that teaching is not a suitable job for someone with young children-no more than any other career and I think my DC would benefit less if I was in a job with only 5 weeks holiday a year. If you enjoy teaching, you can make it work.

Original poster

Heartofstrings · 05/04/2021 10:57

I'm currently earning pretty well tutoring groups during school hours and individual in the evenings.

You're all so right. I'm so confused. I think I'm viewing it through rose tinted glasses. Husband has 2 years left of studying after this academic year

OP posts:

Original poster

Heartofstrings · 05/04/2021 10:59

I don't think I struggled with teaching. I just hit period of poor mental health. I loved teaching, in fact

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FluffyPJs · 05/04/2021 11:00

Teaching full time with small children is certainly not impossible, or none of the teachers I know would be teaching! I was teaching before I had my son so I went through the whole thing from maternity to now teen. I used to wait till he was in bed to do my marking/ prep when he was small, then as he got older I was able to do my work whilst he was up as he didn't need me constantly. Having the holidays off with him certainly made up for all the hours worked in evenings and weekends. It's hard term time but I love my job so made it work. I got really good at time management. If you want to go back into teaching then do it! It's not something you can do half heartedly but if you really enjoy it then it's so worth it

toocold54 · 05/04/2021 11:01

How come you left teaching before? That will probably help you make a decision.

I am a teacher and I’m considering leaving. I have struggled juggling all of the work and being a single parent. I love teaching in the clsssroom but it’s everything that goes with it that makes it difficult. I think this year has made it more difficult so I am planning to stay on for a few more months and see.

rawlikesushi · 05/04/2021 11:05

@thegreenlight

I am in front of children 8:45-3:20.

I plan my week in PPA, and then every day 8-8:45 for that day.

I live mark in most lessons, use my lunchtimes to call parents and sort out other issues.

After school, I mark anything I didn't manage to mark during the day (30 mins at most) and anything else - meetings with colleagues, Assessment, SEN paperwork.

Original poster

Heartofstrings · 05/04/2021 11:06

I basically took an extended period of time off sick. I was mentally very unwell. The school weren't able to facilitate a slow return for me so I agreed to leave.

I don't think the teaching caused it because I was unwell more recently. Have been well for 12 months now

OP posts:

CarrieBlue · 05/04/2021 11:09

Teaching hasn’t improved in the last 8 years. You only need to read a couple of threads here to see how unvalued and disrespected the profession has become. I’d take tutoring over teaching every time.

Original poster

Heartofstrings · 05/04/2021 11:13

Gah im so confused. I have no idea what to do with my life. I think my groups will drop off from September where normality is returning

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