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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is DH about money and builders?

38 replies

Buildersdilem · 04/04/2021 13:09

Hi, please settle the debate. We will do what the MN community says.

DH and I have wanted a garden room for some time. We spoke to a builder who does them and viewed some but he wouldn’t build as we don’t have a driveway so would be difficult. We then had to look at ready made ones. The ready made were minimum £10k and those that you self build were cheaper but DH can’t even put up a shelf.

My brother then suggested his friend. I spoke to the friend, call him John, who text me a company he had used for his garden. It’s a bit like a flat pack summerhouse. John said he could build it. We ordered it and from then, he sent us materials to buy e.g. skirting board, insulation, I ordered/paid, John negotiated delivery etc.

To build he estimated 4 days at £150 day.
Day 1 it rained heavily and he could barely do anything. Day 2 he had a lot of levelling to do as our patio isn’t level. By day 4 he’d built the structure and put the roof on but hadn’t felted it. He came back this weekend and will finish today. It looks great.
He is still only charging (£150x4 days = £600).

DH and I found a company the other day that builds these for a living. They quoted £750 to do it with insulation. However they will literally just build it, not level it out etc that’s our responsibility.

I want to give John a tip for his time/work (he has refused to accept money so far). Even £50. DH thinks no because:

  • the guy has been slower than expected, the website recommends 4 days for 2 semi skilled people (John had my brothers help for 4 days)
  • he does seem to take a lot of breaks, often smoking
  • he shows up by 10am but these past two days it’s been 11
  • because it’s over two weekends it’s been annoying (it hasn’t really prevented us doing anything though - John has a normal building job in the week).

So would you give John a bit of extra money. My brother isn’t able to help this weekend (John was meant to be done by now and brother has plans) so John has got another friend to help him who he is paying from his own money.

YABU - pay what was quoted and no more
YANBU - he’s done a good job, give him so extra.

If it’s relevant, DH and I can afford it and are reasonably comfortable financially.

OP posts:
RedPandaMama · 04/04/2021 13:17

Seems like you've got a bargain considering ready made were around 10k, I would give a tip.

ErleighBird · 04/04/2021 13:28

@RedPandaMama

Seems like you've got a bargain considering ready made were around 10k, I would give a tip.

I agree with this.

Bluntness100 · 04/04/2021 13:29

Blimey, your husband isn’t very nice is he?

LondonStone · 04/04/2021 13:30

I always find these situations hard to navigate but I think if the other company is £750 without any levelling then £600 is a good deal, even if it was a little slower, so I’d give a tip.

Roszie · 04/04/2021 13:32

Absolutely.

I hate tight people. I hope this is a one off from your DH

Aprilx · 04/04/2021 13:33

If John was an accountant or lawyer that had charged you a little less than market rate, would you be considering tipping? If not, and I assume not, I don’t see why you would tip a builder either.

AhNowTed · 04/04/2021 13:33

£150 is an absolute bargain.

Your DH sounds mean-spirited and tight.

rosesinmygarden · 04/04/2021 13:37

What about some beer/wine as a thank you?

My husband is a builder and often gets given a case of beer or some nice wine or spirits. It's a nice touch and if he's not asked for extra money it a a way of showing your appreciation.

£150 a day is not very much either, depending on where in the country you are. So that accounts for the slightly shorter days perhaps.

I personally think you've had a bargain.

Original poster
Buildersdilem · 04/04/2021 13:38

DH isn’t normally tight, but also this is our first build project like this as it’s our first house.

We’ve only ever hired carpenters who have finished dead on time and we pay for a job. I think the guy is a perfectionist which is why it’s taken so long. It’s day 6 and I’m not optimistic it will be finished today if I’m honest.

How much tip would you give?

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 04/04/2021 13:42

As you say your DH can't even put up a shelf, it is quite possible that you may want to use John for other jobs in future. On that basis, and knowing how hard it can be to get hold of tradesmen, I'd keep him sweet and give him some extra - especially as he's having to pay a mate. The weather delay was out of his control.

Original poster
Buildersdilem · 04/04/2021 13:43

Interesting that you think £150 a day is cheap. I think that’s his normal day rate. He’s still fairly new in his career and he usually works as more of a carpenter / handyman. He is very skilled and I’m impressed with his work.

We have given him cooked lunches/meals throughout, lots of drinks etc.

The cabin itself cost £3k, we’ve spent £1k on materials, £600 on the builder.
After some supplies to protect it etc I think it’ll be £5k. It’s definitely saved us some money going with the brand John has built before and they were 5* rated. We initially dismissed them because of the building.

OP posts:
Original poster
Buildersdilem · 04/04/2021 13:44

Should add he’s one of the best friends of my brother. His girlfriend is very close with my brother and we are paying the girlfriend for some services too (outing), so I hope / think they’ll remain on board

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 04/04/2021 13:47

yes I would give him extra if he's done a good job and I'd think that if he is needing to work weekends on top of working all week he probably really needs the money and I'm not surprised he started at 11am as he must be knackered.

AhNowTed · 04/04/2021 13:58

I'd give him another £50.

Crabwoman · 04/04/2021 14:00

Yes tip, that is a bargain. He also appears to be working Easter Sunday so on that basis I'd deffo give him a bit extra.

Wingedharpy · 04/04/2021 14:05

Please send John round to my place when he's done OP.
I can find him many jobs and will also give him a tip.👍

Wriggleout · 04/04/2021 14:16

Please value good quality workmen - they are like gold dust. You might need him again in the future, so don't be tight and be very appreciative. Physical work is hard. He will have earned every penny. £170-£190 is what we generally pay for good quality trades in the SE.

Lou98 · 04/04/2021 14:22

YANBU, I would definitely give him some extra. As others have said, £600 is a very good price for that! Plus just because the website says 2 of their men could have done it in 4 days, doesn't mean they will have. Things like weather etc would have affected them too and there will have been a disclaimer somewhere about it. Even just a slight bit extra and a box of beer or something is a nice gesture

sodoffmenopause · 04/04/2021 14:38

In your situation I'd be grabbing him a case of beers and something as a gift rather than cash, that solves the amount issue your DH has.

It seems like a bargain and your DH sounds a bit tight.

BlueEyedPony · 04/04/2021 15:03

Definitely give him a good tip. £150 a day is very cheap for skilled work.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 04/04/2021 15:10

Definitely tip him! I wouldn't take any notice of your tight DH. If you want to tip, do so.

AhNowTed · 04/04/2021 15:17

A calculator will tell you that it's pretty cheap.

Presumably he doesn't get holiday or sick pay. No employer pension.

£35k tops is hardly rolling in it.

PinkSnowAndStars · 04/04/2021 15:23

If he was that much cheaper, has come to finish it and isn’t charging extra I’d 100% tip! Especially if you want other jobs done in the future. You say he’s done a good job.

If your husband REALLY doesn’t want to give him cash, perhaps a couple of crates of beer.

He sounds like he deserves it to be honest.

Noidea2114 · 04/04/2021 15:38

Give a tip remember today is Easter Sunday he could have been at home with his family.

ButForTheGrace · 04/04/2021 15:39

Ask your brother what he drinks and get him some beers and a bottle. Getting good reliable tradesmen is hard - so a relatively cheap sweetener may pay dividends in the future when needed.