To be feeling like this? Am I losing my happiness?

[IronLoveYou3000]

Been a single parent for 8 years, met no one else due to low self esteem and was left while I was pregnant with my second.

I'm struggling to find the 'fun' and happiness in things, I'm so tired of playing Father Christmas, Easter bunnies etc on my own.

I'm staying up to hide the eggs and create the clues and I find it all a massive chore, I know my children will love it but there is something about how I feel this year that makes me upset I haven't got anyone to share these moments with.

I'm not quite sure what I wanted to get out of this post but please tell me to get a grip or have I got valid points?

Hi. Can really relate to how you are feeling mine are a bit older now and it does get better. I’ve been able to go out a bit more ( well obvs not at mo) without a sitter and have cultivated a good circle of friends to do stuff with. The kids have become more independent and it does get better so hang in there. No instant fixes tho sorry x

I'm sorry you were left whilst expecting, I can't imagine what a blow that was... or was it a relief?
You're doing a brilliant job, and you have a kind heart to be doing what you're doing. You have very lucky kids.

I know exactly how you feel. I’m a single mum by choice (sperm donor) and I feel a twinge of sadness when I do “celebratory” things with my daughter as it is when I feel the loneliest.
My saving grace has been to hang out with other single parents and share those times with them and their kids. Makes it feel like a family vibe for everyone. We bubbled up with my single best friend and her kid and it’s really improved our spare time.
Do you have anyone like that? You could always look online for single parent groups in your area? X

Yes, I’ve found it hard too. Have been a single parent since my youngest was two so I had a few years where I had someone to share this with and it was hard having to do it alone after.

As difficult as it is to get motivated I always think that our children will have these exciting memories when they grow up so it is worth it, even if hard for us.

"I know my children will love it"

"I know my children will love it"

"I know my children will love it"

These are the things the children will remember and cherish when they are older. And you will love reminiscing when it was just you and them.

Enjoy every minute whilst it lasts, children soon grow.

Been there and understand how you feel... it is Totally Valid to feel the way you do at times...be kind to yourself and remember that this too shall pass.

I hear you. It's really hard doing it all on your own isn't it? I've also been on my own for 11 years with mine who are now 13 and 10 (yes mine also left when I was pregnant).

It's still hard but has got easier. Now ironically it's a bit lonely sometimes as they don't need me nearly as much and they don't want to do stuff with me now.
I made one very good friend who is in the same position as me. I heard she had split up from her ex and honestly, I just approached her at the school one day and asked her if she wanted to go for a coffee (we had mutual friends but I didn't know her). We have been best of friends for 6 years and do all the things together that you'd do with a partner. Holidays, Christmas, Easter egg hunt yesterday. We talk to each other about problems with the kids and we talk about 3 times a day. It has made a huge difference to both of our patenting experiences.

Are there any single parents at your DCs school that you know of? Don't let your self esteem or fear of rejection stop you. Ask one of them if they fancy a coffee some time. I find there is a huge solidarity and feelings of empathy amongst those who are doing it on their own and they will want to help.

Now my kids are older I am starting to do some on line dating but just taking it slowly. Maybe a good time for you to look into some counselling or a support group (cheaper) to help you with your self esteem as it will help you in making friends and when the time feels right a partner.

I still get really lonely and find it hard but having a few other people in your life who just get it is invaluable.