To feel so sad about this?

[NewBabyBabyBaby]

I feel so sad that DH just seems to hate the baby stage with our DS. He keeps saying how he just dislikes this stage and just never seems to want to hold him or really be with him hardly because he 'just moans' apparently.

He has two older children and he says he hated the newborn stage then too. I know he's a good dad and adores his older two. I do know he loves DS too but it just makes me really sad for some reason that he just seems to hate it so far.

He was always happy and keen when TTC and when I was pregnant.

It feels stupid saying it but it feels like I'm upset because it seems like a slight toward DS and to me he's just perfect and so special and it makes me upset feeling like someone, especially his own Dad could think he were annoying and seem like he's pining for a time when he didn't exist.

I hated the baby stage too so I get him. DD is 7 now and we have so much fun, love her to bits and such a fun age.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to be sad but I feel him, it’s not my fave stage either.

Does he still pull his weight in helping though? Even if he visibly looks annoyed with doing so.

It's understandable you're feeling a bit sad but you said it yourself - he's a great dad. I don't blame him for not liking the baby stage, I hated it and don't want a second cause I don't even know yet if I can go through it again (ds is 9 months).

That being said, it doesn't mean your husband gets to opt out of parenting his own baby, whether he likes the stage or not

If he knew he struggled before with his older DC he should have gone into this prepared to get stuck in knowing it would pass, trying to see the positives and not make your life harder by bitching and griping. How dare he think he can opt out in a way that you can’t because he finds it hard work. What a dick. He’s not a clueless first timer, his experience should be an asset to you both. Instead he’s basically being lazy and pathetic and has decided he’s too good to do anything he doesn’t actively enjoy, knowing he’s increasing your workload.

What have you said to him about this? If he doesn’t put the time and effort in now how’s he going to learn how to stop the baby from moaning?

What is he doing, nappies, baths, bottles if relevant, nights? Or are you stuck with the lot?

I’d stop being sad and start getting angry.

He actively chose to bring this child into the world with you. That means getting the fuck on with both caring for that child and supporting you.

I feel really sad for you. DH has two older DC and we have a toddler together. The whole time we were ttc and I was pregnant all he said was how he remembers how fast it all goes and he was looking forward to enjoying all the daily minutiae, knowing the hard bits pass and appreciating the amazing bits - and that’s exactly what he’s done.