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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a handhold

19 replies

HandHold0 · 03/04/2021 20:15

This is my first post but I've been lurking for a while

I gave birth yesterday at 32 weeks. Baby is in nicu and he's so tiny Sad. My boyfriend attempted suicide last week and he's been sectioned and I don't have any contact with him. My mum is supportive but I'm still so worried about son Sad

Can I have a handhold please?

OP posts:
tealandteal · 03/04/2021 20:22

Oh you poor love. Your baby is in the best placed to look after him, a big handhold from me.

Hemelbelle · 03/04/2021 20:28

Congratulations on your new arrival. Your baby is in the best of hands and will be looked after by specialists 24/7; do talk to the staff about any worries you have. Your boyfriend also sounds in the safest place right now and is being looked after and hopefully he will come back stronger. Make sure that you get plenty of sleep, as it will help with the recovery from childbirth and help you to process everything. Talk to your midwife or doctor if you are not sleeping well. Try and eat well, not always easy when you are anxious but it will help you. Sending lots of best wishes and I hope it is not too long before you are all doing well and home as a new family.

laudete · 03/04/2021 20:51

Virtual handholds. Best wishes and positive vibes. x

blindmansbluff · 03/04/2021 20:57

Congratulations on your new arrival. My son spent the first week of his life in the NICU after being born at 34 weeks, they really are amazing at looking after the babies. Do they have any specific concerns?

glasgowLil · 03/04/2021 20:58

Sounds a really scary time for you. Sending lots of virtual hugs. Have you had a look at the bliss website? They have lots of useful info about premature babies. Xxx
www.bliss.org.uk/

RLJ1905 · 03/04/2021 21:00

Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy. He's in the best place being looked after.
Handhold x

Littlebluebird123 · 03/04/2021 21:01

Virtual handhold.
Congratulations on the birth of your lo.

My first was in the NICU for two weeks. It was hard, confusing and also amazing. They were so fantastic and knowledgeable and supportive. She's now a sulky/sweet teenager (depends on the day).
Hope boyf is getting the support he needs too.
Sounds like they're both in the best place. Flowers

Redskyyy · 03/04/2021 21:03

Virtual handhold. My dd spent 4 months in nicu so I know what it’s like. Are you able to be with your baby? How is baby doing? Remember 32 weeks is an ok gestation and baby is in the right place to get all the support they need to come home. Please take care of yourself, nicu life is exhausting.

MiniMaxi · 03/04/2021 21:05

Congratulations OP. My son was born at 34 weeks and is now a strapping great 4 year old. He’ll probably be in NICU for a little while, and then don’t be surprised if he’s tube fed a bit longer (eg until 36 weeks) as they don’t get a suck reflex until later.

Try your best to relax and spend as much time with him as you can. Use Bliss (the charity for prem babies), and Mumsnet prem babies forum. Hope he’s out soon and hope your boyfriend gets well soon too.

Rtmhwales · 03/04/2021 21:25

Just wanted to pipe in and say my gorgeous almost 3 yo DS was born spontaneously at 31+6W after my husband had abandoned me and I had to move countries mid pregnancy. We are three years on now and life is amazing. He's healthy and perfect.

It can get better. Just take care of you first and love your little boy.

Wynston · 03/04/2021 21:58

Here op with u........handhold for as long as you need us.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby Flowers.

Original poster
HandHold0 · 04/04/2021 11:41

Thank you for your replies. Baby isnt on a ventilator but he's on oxygen

OP posts:
Original poster
HandHold0 · 04/04/2021 11:44

Sorry posted too soon. He's on oxygen and he's being tube fed and he's in an incubator I'm allowed to be with him as I'm still currently in hospital (I had a csection)

OP posts:
nonevernotever · 04/04/2021 11:48

Another handhold here. 15yr old dniece was born at 29 weeks and spent time in nicu, and it really is the best place for them, though hard for you,

RainbowCookie · 04/04/2021 12:04

Handhold here, my DS was born at 34 weeks weighing 1,7kg, less than 4 lbs, he was in ICU for 4 weeks. The fact that he is on oxygen rather than a ventilator is a really good sign.
My DS is now 12 and taller than me, you will both get through this.

RainbowCookie · 04/04/2021 12:06

I found it easier to recover from a c-section with him in ICU, by the time he came home I was fit and driving again. But then I had a rough couple of months as he needed feeding every 3 hours, so I had to wake him and make sure he finished his bottles, so make sure you gets lots of support when he’s home.

Wowcherarestalkingme · 04/04/2021 12:09

Handhold op. My son was also born at 32 weeks and spent four weeks in the NICU. He is perfectly healthy now and causing chaos this morning. I have my fingers crossed for you. NICU staff are absolutely amazing, he will be well looked after

BlueSuffragette · 04/04/2021 12:12

Best wishes to you OP and your DS xx

Justilou1 · 04/04/2021 12:22

I hope this makes you feel better about your baby... I was born at around 28/29 weeks. They didn’t have ultrasounds back then. I’ll be 50 next year.
I’m sorry about your bf. He’s where he needs to be. Very happy your mum is supportive.

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