Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too scared of pregnancy for s*x

29 replies

Biscuitbrew · 03/04/2021 10:26

Hey, so we've not done the deed for a few years now mixture of stress and teen kids in the house just put a stop to it but now I've become really worried about doing it because it's been that long I'm worried my ovaries will get over excited and soak up all the sperms. I'm 36 and been on the pill forever but I'm terrified that my biological ticking clock will feel the need to grab onto any last chance 🤣
Logically I know the pill will do it's job but there is that tiny chance. Has anyone felt the same and overcome it? Not sure what I'm asking here but I'd happily avoid doing anything until after menopause haha.

OP posts:
User57392985 · 03/04/2021 10:27

Vasectomy!

TakeYourFinalPosition · 03/04/2021 10:28

Would you be happier using condoms too?

Or a different contraception entirely? Female condoms, the coil or an implant?

Otherwise I think you’ll need to talk to your partner. Some people would be fine waiting and having no sex, and he may be one of them if it’s already been a few years... other people wouldn’t want to continue a relationship without sex. You’d need to know what he was thinking.

squashyhat · 03/04/2021 10:30

Six? Sox? Sax?

ilovesooty · 03/04/2021 10:32

You are allowed to say sex you know.

HugeAckmansWife · 03/04/2021 10:35

Sex is not a swear word. There are numerous solutions to this as I'm sure, at 36, you know. Honest, I opened this expecting it to be from a teenager.

Excilente · 03/04/2021 10:37

which pill are you on? There is one type that stops you ovulating all together, would that make you feel safer?

Other than that, ask DH to get the Snip, and you get some counselling, because your ovaries are not going to 'soak up all the sperms'

PandaFluff · 03/04/2021 10:39

Speak to your GP. You could have a coil fitted and take the pill maybe?

PandaFluff · 03/04/2021 10:40

And maybe look into how ovaries work - they aren't sponges

Turtleturtle81 · 03/04/2021 10:58

Sex, it’s called sex.

TheQueef · 03/04/2021 11:00

Belt and braces then.
Pill + condom.

CareBear50 · 03/04/2021 11:05

Sex
Sex
Sex
Sex
Sex
Sex
Sex

SaucySarah · 03/04/2021 11:07

I don't think it's really to do with fear of pregnancy. It's to do with lack of desire and / or issues in your relationship. If you really wanted to have sex it's easy enough to double up with another form of non-hormonal contraception.

PenisBeakerIsMyFavouriteMuppet · 03/04/2021 11:11

I'm worried my ovaries will get over excited and soak up all the sperms

That... that’s not how biology works. Ovaries aren’t J-cloths. Sperm(s) don’t penetrate ovaries.

PenisBeakerIsMyFavouriteMuppet · 03/04/2021 11:11

^Sperm(s) doesn’t/don’t penetrate ovaries.

Wearywithteens · 03/04/2021 11:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

denverRegina · 03/04/2021 11:33

Sex

CandyLeBonBon · 03/04/2021 11:35

Honest, I opened this expecting it to be from a teenager.

Me too 😂

justwaydamin · 03/04/2021 11:40

You're only 36 and haven't had sex for years because teenagers live in the house? Now you won't have sex because you're scared of getting pregnant?

No I don't buy it. Why do you really not want to have sex? Don't feel you have to answer me but be honest with yourself pls

VainAbigail · 03/04/2021 11:48

@CareBear50

Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex
🤣
Scarlettpixie · 03/04/2021 12:01

This is Mumsnet. You can say sex. You can even swear!

Maybe worth refreshing yourself on some basic biology..

If you are worried the pill won't be enough protection, use condoms as well or discuss with your DH the possibility of him having a vasectomy. You have potentially a lot of fertile years left. How would you feel about sterilization? How does your DH feel about your lack of sex life. Are either of you bothered? Is your marriage otherwise good? Not having sex for months seems relatively 'normal' to me when people are busy/raising kids. I think it would be unusual for this to go on for years without it causing tension.

jessstan2 · 03/04/2021 12:09

How ridiculous. Your ovaries don't get 'over excited' because of sex, they either expel ova or they don't.

A young person of 36 usually has a sex life - unless they really don't like it.

If they are that worried about becoming pregnant why not be sterilised or suggest partner is sterilised?

There must be more to this story.

GladysTheGroovyMule · 03/04/2021 12:13

If you’re old enough to have sex, you’re old enough to say it/spell it. Sex.

As for your question, you know you’re being irrational right? Ovaries don’t soak up sperm and the pill something like 97%? effective. Chances are if you use the pill or a condom you won’t get pregnant.

justsayso · 03/04/2021 12:14

It must have taken a lot to post this, and I'm sorry you're being flamed OP!
Having read the post I get the sense that your worries are getting in the way of you being able to fulfill your relationship, and you've got some slightly over-inflated ideas about what might happen if you did have sex.
Like someone else has suggested, I suspect CBT or having a discussion with a professional about how you feel would probably be the best route.

LAgeDeRaisin · 03/04/2021 12:16

Sorry I'm unsure of what your post is about due to your super stealthy asterix and its disguising discombobulating ways

toconclude · 03/04/2021 12:17

@CareBear50

Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex
Not now, dear, I've the garden to water.