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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the exclamation mark is overused and misused?

72 replies

WhatsTheExclamationFor · 02/04/2021 15:49

This isn't a full grammar nazi situation - I'm not perfect so not bothered about grammar, as long as I can understand what's being said.

What bothers me a bit is how people use the exclamation mark. What's with all the shouting or emphasising statements? Isn't that largely what the symbol is for? But people often use it in place of full stop or as a passive aggressive signal or just because they can. It can be confusing when chatting with someone and you're not sure if something is wrong and they're showing it through '!' after every word or they simply felt like using it. It's worse if they've not been using it and suddenly it's there.

"Hello, how are you?"
"I'm fine!"

"Hope the issue was sorted! Let me know how it goes!"

"I've enjoyed my house and I'm glad we moved!!!"

"I'll let the plumber know!"

All in casual conversation with no need to exclaim anything and no other signs of any issues. Am I missing the point of the !, which requires more effort to find on the keyboard than the full stop?

What's the exclamation mark (!) for?

OP posts:
U2HasTheEdge · 02/04/2021 16:17

I am fine! looks very blunt to me.
That would make me automatically think I have pissed them off.

I spend a lot of time thinking about my text messages, not wanting to sound rude. I send a lot due to my job and punctuation can make such a difference to how something is read.

littlewhitestar · 02/04/2021 16:19

YABU!

At least, when it comes to social media, texting, informal emails. It's just a different more grown up way of indicating tone than the poo emoji and smiley face.

Original poster
WhatsTheExclamationFor · 02/04/2021 16:21

I'd say I've seen it used more by the younger generation. Not something I grew up with.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsTheExclamationFor · 02/04/2021 16:23

Suppose it depends how old you are.

OP posts:
Donelurking · 02/04/2021 16:23

Interesting misuse of rhetorical question mark in the thread title!

Somethingsnappy · 02/04/2021 16:33

@kurentovanje

I think it's because we are so reliant on digital communication these days that we are careful to not sound too severe, because we lack the other cues of body language, tone, etc.

There are lots of memes floating around about the over-use of exclamation marks in emails to make sure people don't think you're mad at them! (yes that was on purpose)

I agree with this. There is a big difference between using them in normal writing and using them in a text message, for example. They convey a jaunty and lighthearted tone. I guess this is how language evolves (!).
the80sweregreat · 02/04/2021 17:04

I love them !

littlewhitestar · 02/04/2021 17:45

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

I know what you mean. Also see 'lol' being used as if it is a full stop more and more.
But if you aren't going to stick to the rules and write l.o.l. why bother with a full stop?

Language evolves. I wouldn't start a sentence with but if I was writing formally...

I think excessive exclamation marks to indicate tone started with the advent of texting, at the same time as :-) At least, that's when I remember it starting - mostly older people who cringed at embracing smiley faces and text speak.

Pollypudding · 02/04/2021 17:57

I love an exclamation mark and also an interrobang?!
I, too, think they convey a jaunty tone however I see they have also been perceived as passive aggressive.
I am also very fond of emojis but again they can be misinterpreted.
I also like the strikethrough which I have only ever seen on Mumsnet.
I used to have a colleague who put 3 kisses at the end of her emails. If she was annoyed with you the kisses would disappear for a few weeks, to be reinstated when you were in her good graces again. Now that was passive aggressive!

Original poster
WhatsTheExclamationFor · 02/04/2021 18:03

Yes, very similar to how some people use the exclamation mark.

I like emojis because I think they convey emotions better (They're supposed to). Funny that people read meanings into them when they're supposed to be more straightforward and accurate but I guess you can use anything in a passive aggressive way.

I like the 'interrobang' too. Love that word.

OP posts:
Zancah · 02/04/2021 18:05

Well, I do agree. I over use it.

But … nothing more annoying than a triple question mark. If you send me any sort of message with ??? on it, you can bet your arse I'll be ignoring you.
I see it all the time on here, it's so aggressive.

expectopelargonium · 02/04/2021 18:06

@CodMouth

I like an exclamation mark when it’s used correctly.
So do I.
RandomUsernameHere · 02/04/2021 18:08

I love an exclamation mark and agree with others that a full stop can seem a bit blunt

Original poster
WhatsTheExclamationFor · 02/04/2021 18:12

Incase I wasn't clear, I like an exclamation mark. I just don't like when it's used in a way that I can't understand the intention behind it - so incorrectly.

But seeing as people find it friendly and full stop less friendly (never heard that before until this thread), I can now understand why people use it often and in place of full stop.

OP posts:
Notable · 02/04/2021 18:14

F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said an exclamation mark is like laughing at your own joke.

CaesarsDream · 02/04/2021 18:14

Punctuation is underused more than it's misused, IMO.

the80sweregreat · 02/04/2021 18:39

@Notable

F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said an exclamation mark is like laughing at your own joke.
That is funny !
UrAWizHarry · 02/04/2021 18:41

No! Absolutely not! If anything it's underused!!!!!!!!

!!!!

!!!
!

MrsGogolsGumbo · 02/04/2021 19:08

I like them!! I have read that use of five indicates someone who is INSANE!!!!! Wink

I think I sometimes overuse them as a PP said to try and convey an upbeat manner. I struggle with tone over texts in casual conversation but in a professional setting I don't tend to use them.

I think maybe this is in case my tone is misconstrued as aggressive, which is weird now I come to think of it.

Original poster
WhatsTheExclamationFor · 02/04/2021 19:21

I like them!! I have read that use of five indicates someone who is INSANE!!!!!

😄 Nice to know.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2021 19:24

One (or maybe two at a push) exclamation marks, any more than that makes the writer sound excitable and a bit Hmm.

BoohooMagoo · 02/04/2021 19:25

I find exclamation marks to be arrogant and potentially passive aggressive.

I often find it to be a case of, "my opinion needs emphasis because I am so very important".

Pair it with a food description or review to write
Yum!
Yummy!
Delish!
Or God forbid
Yummers!

and I will actively want to climb through the internet and fucking strangle the person.

I can see where some people think they are using it to communicate positively but I still don't like it.

On here, I basically stop taking notice of the opinion being expressed by anyone the second the start !!!ing all over the place like some sort of visual verbal diarrhoea.

Maybe it's because I am a miserable old fart.

By the looks of it, if this thread is anything to go by, I am very much in the minority.

PainterInPeril · 02/04/2021 19:31

Enid Blyton used them a lot in her books! Didn't do her any harm!! I think they liven up what could otherwise be a very boring narrative!!! Grin Wink

Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2021 19:36

Oh god yes ‘Lashings of ginger beer!!!!!’

ThePricklySheep · 02/04/2021 19:42

@Donelurking

Interesting misuse of rhetorical question mark in the thread title!
How is it wrong? Smile
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