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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Weekend mega lie ins

41 replies

ticklycough · 02/04/2021 11:45

My dp has always had lie ins at the weekend, anything up to midday. I didn’t mind too much before we had our dd (now 3) but I’m getting fed up of it now.

It’s Easter Saturday and it’s 11:45 and he’s still in bed, sun is shining outside and it seems such a waste to me!

He likes to stay up late and thinks it’s his right to lie in at weekends. I feel it’s unfair on me as I work in the week too but still have to get up with our dd at weekends. Anyone else have this problem or AIBU?

OP posts:

CallmeHendricks · 02/04/2021 12:29

Why aren't you sharing the lie-ins each weekend?
(Tip: opt for the first one, on Saturday, so that if he mucks it up by making too much noise/forgetting to give them breakfast so they come to ask you for it, you can have a re-run on the Sunday).

Ihaveoflate · 02/04/2021 12:30

I don't understand why you can't take it in turns for a lie in. Saturday is my day and I stay in bed for as long as I want, but DH has his turn on Sunday. I assumed every couple with small children did this.

tealandteal · 02/04/2021 12:33

You should definitely be taking it in turns! I get the Sunday lie in usually (til 9) and my husband the Saturday. We do our best to keep DS (3) downstairs and quiet but understand that sometimes it's impossible. Sometimes if I'm feeling energetic I lie in til 8 and then go for a run in "my" time.

gingerandproud4always · 02/04/2021 12:35

I agree, it's Easter Sunday and he's taking the piss

IndecentFeminist · 02/04/2021 12:38

Shared lie ins. We have always split them, he has Saturday and I have Sunday. We tend to wake each other with a cup of tea/coffee sometime between 9 and 10.

Original poster

ticklycough · 02/04/2021 14:21

I’m an early bird and he’s a night owl. But staying in bed til midday is taking the p*.

I’ll talk to him about sharing it otherwise the single parent option sounds appealing, as you’re guaranteed a lie in when they’re at dads house. But extreme way perhaps

OP posts:

Chamomileteaplease · 02/04/2021 14:38

Having a lie-in each is what most people do because it's fair.

Why haven't you done this before? He is taking the piss.

I imagine it's because he will be like other partners on MN who then behave shockingly and let the child disturb the sleeping partner, don't give them breakfast, get them dressed, take them out or anything else .

But you can try.

chickennugget121 · 02/04/2021 15:07

YANBU only because he doesn't reciprocate.

CuthbertDibbleandGrubb · 02/04/2021 15:27

When someone starts misusing the word 'right' for something they like doing, then they have lost the argument in my book.

Howshouldibehave · 02/04/2021 15:31

It’s taken you three years to work out that this isn’t fair?!

How long will it take you to realise it’s not Saturday

Silverfly · 02/04/2021 16:21

I mean you don't have to share the lie ins if you don't want to. If you're an early bird who'd prefer to be up and about in the morning, that's fine. But just make sure he takes over caring for DD at some point during the day for roughly the same length as his lie in. Maybe that will show him how irritating it is?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/04/2021 16:22

Midday is taking the absolute piss. Although I have been known to do this when kids are with exh.

He was never as extreme as this but my exh used to hog all lie ins when we were together and kids were small. No amount asking to them so we got one each got through to him. Really irritating to watch them snore away when you’re tired.

If he did get up on a weekend he wanted me up also as he couldn’t possibly do it alone / couldn’t bear for me to be in bed while he patented. Or he’d say he was getting up to give me a lie in, but I had to get the dc ready for him, and oh he just nedded a show and xyz, so it was well into the day before they actually went out. I was then expected to be able to go back to bed. When the arrangement I was looking for was for him to do all that early stuff, and I could then get up rested and join in the day out!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 02/04/2021 17:25

Yep he is taking the piss op. Staying up late when children and in bed then sleeping in half the day when they are up is standard dodging of parental responsibilities - it's a way of getting extra child free time for himself at your expense.

If he's a night owl and you are an early bird, the only solution imho is what DH and I do. He gets an agreed lie in on one of the days til a specified time, but in return, he solo parents for a couple of hours after lunch etc so that I get some time for myself.

Chwaraeteg · 02/04/2021 17:36

So make sure you get a lie in yourself the next day. Or, if lie-ins aren't your thing, take yourself off for a bath or a morning out or something.

I genuinely don't know how anyone survives without a nice long lie-in of a weekend. It would be a relationship ender for me of my other half decided to unilatery ban them!

FireflyRainbow · 02/04/2021 20:44

So out of order of him. Why have you allowed it. Not normal op. You sound like a single parent.

FrankieDettol · 04/04/2021 00:16

My ex used to stay in bed until teatime most weekends leaving me to parent both our young DC. Sometimes I'd lose it and shout to him to get up, and he'd say he was having a nap. So he hadn't made it out of bed yet but he was calling it a nap.
Got pretty tired of that bullshit in the end.

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