Did I come across as hostile/offended ?

[thatwasme22]

Male cousin and wife having a baby. Anyway me and cousin were messaging this am and I suggested visiting later:

Me:I might call over this week, stay in garden of course.

Cousin:Sorry wife very covid aware so staying safe until baby arrives.

Me: Yea grand.

I was washing dishes and was not offended so left it when half an hour later a response come in:

Cousin: Look thatwasme its's not you it's covid.

Me: Ha I know, everybody's the same. I didn't think it was.

He didn't respond but now I feel really awkward. I didn't think 'yea grand' would be interpreted as offended. Me and him are close enough to not be overly formal.

I think you're over-thinking it. Move on and act like there is nothing wrong.

You didnt come across as hostile/ offended.
" Yea grand" is a bit ambiguous and he wanted to make sure you understood.
Tbh I hate poppers in and its politer to ask if you can pop over not just announce it.

Pregnant women past 28 weeks are asked to be 'extra vigilant'. That doesn't mean not meeting anyone ever. He knows she is being over-cautious but is trying to pass it off as normal. He' may be secretly concerned about how her anxiety will manifest itself when the baby is here.

Sounds fine to me. Maybe he’s had to turn down a few garden invites and he’s a bit anxious people are annoyed about it.

I would leave it there but maybe send a message about something else to show you’re not dwelling on it.

As others have said - it's very difficult to analyse without knowing your dynamics.

In my world, I would have been pissed off
that you stated you would come over rather than ask 'is it ok if I pop over'.

In your world, that might be quite normal.

Could be seen as abrupt, especially if you didn't continue the conversation. To me "Yea grand" indicates you don't want to chat any further.

I have a family member who always responds “Yep. Grand.” or just thumbs up or “Grand” to anything from “did your birthday gift arrive safely?” to “Did you hear that Aunt Karen passed away?” and I have to admit that I find it quite lazy or even rude (depending on what it’s in response to). This is like a typical exchange with them!

I think it could have been seen as a bit passive aggressive/standoffish.

Maybe just a “no problem, I understand and can wait until wife feels it’s safe x” would have been better. “Yea. Grand.” is a bit like “whatever” and a conversation ender.

But he might also have written what he did fearing he came off as rude, rather than being irked by your response. There’s two possible scenarios IMO.

Is there a reason you can’t ring him?

@stackemhigh

You were fine, OP. Unfortunately society expects women to write gushing posts so if you had written below you wouldn’t be called rude

‘Aww, no worries, it was my fault suggesting I coming over, I’m so sorry, of course she’d be nervous. Just let me me know whenever you guys are free, I’m free whenever. If you need any shopping let me know I’ll pick it up on the way. All the best and sorry again xxx’

Disclaimer: I hate the above text.

Ugh, yes, absolutely. So not only have you to accept being KBed because of some extra restrictions they’ve imagined for themselves, but you’ve got to be effusive in that acceptance. They both sound utterly wet.