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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be able to feed 3 extra adults unexpectedly for lunch?

565 replies

ImFree2doasiwant · 01/04/2021 14:17

I'm single, with 2 small children. I do a weekly meal plan and shop once a week.

If 3 extra adults dropped in for lunch, I'd either be able to feed them but have to go shopping again, or not have enough food in to feed them at all.

Its not like I can't afford to, I just buy the food that we, as a family, will eat. I have a small freezer. I could probably manage dinner better.

Am I that unusual?

OP posts:
thevicarstroketwice · 01/04/2021 16:38

I don't mind SOME people popping over, my siblings, some good friends. They all like family (or just family), they can come and eat or stay over for a few days without warning. We are close enough that I'd tell them we don't eat sandwiches for lunch so they have to either share what we have, or go and buy their own lunch!

Mylovelyhorsee · 01/04/2021 16:41

I feel you’re quite unusual (not trying to be mean just answering the question)

I appreciate the position that I’m in. If I really didn’t have enough food I’d order something in. Most people I know can do this. I appreciate we must be very lucky.

Boph · 01/04/2021 16:42

Not only could I feed them I could probably feed them and us all for a month Grin
That comes of living in a village with no shop and having two large freezers always full.

MrsKoala · 01/04/2021 16:42

My dad is allergic to fish and eggs and they don’t like pasta or rice for lunch because it’s too heavy. My grandparents were the same ‘I’ll just have a sandwich...’ they’d say as if that was something easy and available. Perhaps it’s generational? as I find younger people are less bread based now. Or regional? Don’t know, but I definitely know people/my family who find my lack of sandwich stuff weird.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/04/2021 16:42

Lol I think you will need and extra ff. Yes, it really is important to have one open house etc.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/04/2021 16:42

I overshop due to childhood poverty so I always have loads in, but I'd probably struggle to make something nice on no notice.

This is me. I've gone to bed hungry many a night - genuinely hungry, not just peckish.

I can't rest unless the cupboards and fridge are full. DH says I have a "siege mentality".

NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom · 01/04/2021 16:43

We live very rurally so our freezers are always very well stocked up and we buy things like veg, pasta and rice in bulk. I did once go out for a walk with a groups of friends and all our children and invited them back to ours after. They all (5 extra adults and 8extra kids!!) ended up staying for lunch (roast pork that I'd already put in the oven). None of us had very much meat at all but we managed to fill ourselves with lots of roasties, stuffing and veggies.
I think if you're not in the habit of having lots of extra food in the house (we wouldn't if we didn't live so far from the shops) then I don't think it would be entirely fair to expect to have to feed a group of extra adults with no notice.
One of my friends has a teeny tiny cottage and not much space to store lots of bulk food so she tends to buy food every few days, as much as she needs. My mum does the same too. If I know I am going to be visiting either of them near a mealtime then I'll often bring food along with me, to feed the kids at least.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 01/04/2021 16:44

I usually have enough for last minute guests but given we can’t socialise indoors ive not been buying anything extra that’s fresh and can go off.

speakout · 01/04/2021 16:46

I could always make a rice or noodle stir fry for dinner for 10 people without shopping.
I buy 10Kg bags of rice and always have noodles.
Rarely bread for sandwiches, or sandwich fillings as we rarely eat sandwiches or bread.
I do keep a good stock of prawns, chicken breast in the freezer, frozen peas. Always have onions, garlic, chilli, ginger, peppers, usually broccolli, carrots- tons soy sauce, sesame oil etc.

It's whether I would want to go to the trouble for 3 rude guests.

Itsalonghaul · 01/04/2021 16:50

I live rurally too, so I know exactly what you mean! It is not like you can pop out and pick up a spare of anything, it is a whole afternoon out Grin

Op, if you have other things you could cobble together, can I ask why on earth the focus is on bread?

Where we live, you accept gratefully whatever is offered, you do not go to other people's houses with a shopping list of expectations, especially if you are turning up unannounced!! I have been offered all sorts over the years, I have been offered nothing. It makes no difference at all, assuming the main aim of your guests is to actually see you rather than acquire a free lunch!!

You should not be stressed about this, they get what they given or they go home. You my dear are not a drive through McDonalds! Grin

CroutonsAvatar · 01/04/2021 16:50

I mean, I’ve always got store cupboard stuff I got rustle something up out of, whether they’d enjoy it is another matter altogether. But anyone who turns up and expects to b

SunshineCake · 01/04/2021 16:51

I don't think you should feel bad that you can't. In my house I have enough food to not go shopping for quite a long time so could feed any amount of people right now. We wouldn't eat all the same meal but no one would go hungry. Since covid we only shop every 7-10 days instead of three times a week and at the moment I am making meals where I have all the ingredients or only need 1-3 things so going out and buying a dozen bits at most.

My freezer, cupboards and pantry are ridiculously full and I have my reasons for that. No one should feel bad that they don't have the same. I'd rather not have the issues tbh.

CroutonsAvatar · 01/04/2021 16:51

Oops. Posted too soon. Anyone who expects to drop in and be fed is a bit weird.

Itsalonghaul · 01/04/2021 16:53

We don't eat bread, kids eat wraps and I eat flatbread occasionally. I don't like sandwiches, not sure I would ever go anywhere and expect to be provided lunch! A glass of water or elderflower, perhaps a cup of tea would be nice.

I am not sure I would want them to come again op, next time don't answer the door.

AdoraBell · 01/04/2021 16:54

I’m the same Schadenfraud

OP YANBU.

starbrightstarlight8888 · 01/04/2021 16:55

I could easily. My shop came this afternoon but even this morning I had bagels, wraps, bread, crackers, pitta breads all in the cupboard with fillings in the fridge. I don't meal plan.

NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom · 01/04/2021 16:56

I can't quote the poster for some reason but re food waste we rarely waste any. We don't meal plan as such but we do make a vague list of meals for the week that we don't always stick to.
We are a family of 5, with the youngest vegetarian, so when we cook there are usually leftovers. Most of the veggie leftovers go in the freezer as emergency meals for the youngest if we've not cooked a separate veggie option that day. The main leftovers (some meat, some veggie) go into the fridge and once or twice a week we'll all have the leftovers of our choice - usually on days we've got music lessons etc. We'll still all sit together at the table, just with 5 different meals Grin In the rare event that we haven't eaten all of the leftovers that week, the chickens get them instead. So in a way I guess they're recycled into eggs!

bennibooboo · 01/04/2021 16:56

I meal plan for each week yes but I always have a larder with backstock and meat in the freezer. So yes I could probably do quite a big spread.financially it wouldn't put me out to go to the shop to buy extra last minute either though. I am aware I am lucky to not have to think of that aspect.

LudoBear · 01/04/2021 16:57

I struggle to feed myself never mind 3 other adults.

Ideasplease322 · 01/04/2021 16:59

I live alone and often don’t even have biscuits in! And lockdown for a year has made it worse - no one ever drops in anymore

AtleastitsnotMonday · 01/04/2021 17:03

Hmmm. My problem would be what I deem ‘guest food!’
As a host I’d want to serve something nice. Even though I’m more than happy with something on toast, pesto pasta, a tin of soup etc I wouldn’t particularly want to serve them to guests. (With the exceptional of my sister who I don’t count as a guest, more just an extension of my family.) I would be unlikely to have fresh bread in but since Covid have kept a packet of wraps and a packet of pita bread in the freezer and part baked baguettes in the cupboard. There’s usually tuna in the cupboard and 90% chance of eggs. Guests would be fine for salad as I always have plenty.
I would be better off if asked to serve an evening meal.

jessstan2 · 01/04/2021 17:04

@MrsKoala

My dad is allergic to fish and eggs and they don’t like pasta or rice for lunch because it’s too heavy. My grandparents were the same ‘I’ll just have a sandwich...’ they’d say as if that was something easy and available. Perhaps it’s generational? as I find younger people are less bread based now. Or regional? Don’t know, but I definitely know people/my family who find my lack of sandwich stuff weird.
I imagine your dad and grandparents wouldn't have been turning up out of the blue unless their car broke down nearby or something like that.

Op, how often do people call for lunch unannounced at your house?

ChronicallyCurious · 01/04/2021 17:04

I wouldn’t feed them lunch. I always have a pack of pitta breads frozen in the freezer so if they were hungry they could have some toasted with hummus. My biscuit jar is always full too. But I’m vegan so I don’t think anyone would really unexpectedly drop by to mine for lunch 😂

Seventrees · 01/04/2021 17:05

You're obviously very, very relaxed about both Brexit and Covid! I could feed a small army.

Doje · 01/04/2021 17:05

I used to regularly feed an extra 2 adults and three kids after playgroups (pre-covid) spontaneously.

I could usually manage a random lunch concoction. I normally have a spare quiche in the freezer and then could manage tuna pasta and some sandwiches. It might be a weird mix, but no-one would go hungry. I normally have a cake in the freezer too, so there would be pud!