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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be able to feed 3 extra adults unexpectedly for lunch?

565 replies

ImFree2doasiwant · 01/04/2021 14:17

I'm single, with 2 small children. I do a weekly meal plan and shop once a week.

If 3 extra adults dropped in for lunch, I'd either be able to feed them but have to go shopping again, or not have enough food in to feed them at all.

Its not like I can't afford to, I just buy the food that we, as a family, will eat. I have a small freezer. I could probably manage dinner better.

Am I that unusual?

OP posts:
KirstenBlest · 02/04/2021 16:16

@Reachersloveinterest, I have a feeling it would be cheese or beans on toast. pub or the chippy, but we are women, so need to rustle up a feast from the 2 anchovies and 5 baguettes pp.

KirstenBlest · 02/04/2021 16:18

Thinking about it, I think that only about 3 men have ever cooked a meal from scratch for me and one of those was pasta and curry to make sure I got the I'm just a hopeless man who needs looking after.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 02/04/2021 16:19

@KirstenBlest

Can you imagine men discussing this. Generalising, of course, but do you think they would worry about peeling spuds and the like?
Nah. He would grill them with the skin on😂

Back to the thread. I would not manage 6 slices of bread most days too, because the loaf I like is small. As I said before. Open face sandwiches would be fine.

Tbh I wouldn't have visitors who would expect certain food after just turning up. I don't talk to people like that close enough for them to know my address. For anything else. It looks like I found a positive of emigrating and having family 1600km away🙈

TheOneWithTheBigNose · 02/04/2021 16:19

[quote KirstenBlest]**@Reachersloveinterest, I have a feeling it would be cheese or beans on toast. pub or the chippy, but we are women, so need to rustle up a feast from the 2 anchovies and 5 baguettes pp.[/quote]
Haha. DH does all our meal planning/shopping/cooking so he’d be the one rustling up a 3 course meal for visitors.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 02/04/2021 16:21

@KirstenBlest

Thinking about it, I think that only about 3 men have ever cooked a meal from scratch for me and one of those was pasta and curry to make sure I got the I'm just a hopeless man who needs looking after.
If dh wouldn't cook (for me) at all I wouldn't marry him😱 I always liked my food🙈
KirstenBlest · 02/04/2021 16:29

I live a long way from my relatives, but they still turn up without announcement. They do not think to phone first - presumably they think I sit by the front door watching out for vistors.

I've never been in when it happened.

Why? How hard is it to just ring, text or email with a 'Hi K, we'll be in your neck of the woods on Saturday. Shall we pop by sometime between 3 and 6 pm?'.
Then I could cancel or change plans and be available.
It's happened several times.

lynsey91 · 02/04/2021 17:00

@MyInsidesLoveFrench

I know not everyone has masses of room but most people, if they really tried, could find room for extra items. Under the bed, on top of wardrobe, in the loft, on top of kitchen cupboards.

This is almost pathological behaviour. We're not facing nuclear war...

Oh don't be so bloody stupid. People have said they have no room for extra food so I have suggested places people could store food.

No one is talking about enough for a nuclear war but enough to be sensible. I have room in my cupboards but not everyone does.

My sister buys loo rolls in Costco, puts however many in her loo and then the rest in her loft

bondgirl76 · 02/04/2021 17:19

i have a spare freezer in my utility room..full of food..just in case.Buy something extra every week.

Somebodyimportant1 · 02/04/2021 17:27

@FusionChefGeoff oh my (so, I am normal), the manner in which my partner goes on about my freezers in the garage, I was beginning to think I was the only one with more than one freezer in the house (garage).

SchrodingersImmigrant · 02/04/2021 17:29

Nah. When I was younger my family always had big chest freezer in the basement or garage. Most people I knew did because everyone had space for it unless they lived in a flat...

Tiredwiththeshits · 02/04/2021 17:29

I’m eat gluten free so it’s a bit trickier but I often have a pizza and usually some salad or something to throw together if my parents stop by.
I can do poached eggs on toast but the bread I like is expensive and very few slices.

There is usually something about even if it’s a slice of toast and fruit! I do try to accommodate anyone to make them feel comfortable and if they have gone out of their way to visit...
cheese scones is always a good quick whip together for me with a cuppa.

ElvinBoys · 02/04/2021 17:30

I reckon I could feed 10 adults 10 meals if needed as I always keep a supply of food “just in case”. Just in case of what I’m not sure, but I have to say it did come in handy when everyone started panic buying in the first lockdown! Also I always have basics such as bread, eggs, tuna, cheese and cold meat that aren’t earmarked for anything in particular so could at least rustle up a sandwich or pasta.

Galdos · 02/04/2021 17:31

If I was one of the extra adults 'just dropping in unexpectedly' I certainly would not be expecting lunch, and would be embarrassed to have it offered. To expect someone to go from feeding one adult and two small children to feeding four adults and the children, without notice or invitation, is bloody rude.

Annipoos · 02/04/2021 17:32

I am interested to know who the 3 adults that just drop in expecting to be fed are.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 02/04/2021 17:35

Why would 3 drop by without warning expecting lunch though?

NewMamma21 · 02/04/2021 17:36

Can I ask how you make pea soup & flatbread? And is that quick enough to make for unexpected visitors? We tend to have peas & flour too.

In general we could probably make a sandwhich, pasta, scrambled eggs for an unexpected lunch. But we don’t tend to meal plan & if we do it’s just us 2 (at the moment) so making an unexpected dinner is harder if we’ve already bought or defrosted just enough for 2.

sueelleker · 02/04/2021 17:36

@KirstenBlest

Can you imagine men discussing this. Generalising, of course, but do you think they would worry about peeling spuds and the like?
They're probably the ones who unexpectedly bring home 3 mates or colleagues for dinner, and wonder why their partner is annoyed.
Gobbeldegook · 02/04/2021 17:40

This is the precise reason why I always have about 5 packs of 20p pasta, 5 packs of 40p Passata and a big tub of oregano in the cupboard, AT ALL TIMES 😂, and a block of parmesan in the freezer to tart it up a bit.
It's a shit dinner but fills the gap.
nothing goes off and I can feed about 6 on less than a pound.

BackforGood · 02/04/2021 17:45

This thread is revelatory - I really didn't think hoarders non-meal planners existed before!
I just couldn't live like that - it seems so wasteful (and I suspect you were the ones clearing the shelves at the start of the pandemic last Spring!).

What an odd way of thinking!
See all of arethereanyleftatall 's posts, but especially the one at 11:57:41 for what I was going to say.

ImFree2doasiwant - what I want to now is how come you had 3 adults randomly turning up out of the blue and expecting to be fed ?

HibouMilou · 02/04/2021 17:47

I’m a single working parent . I make bread every day in a bread maker. Lunch is usually homemade soup and bread (plus cheese or whatever else needs eaten eg. remains of last night’s evening meal). Homemade soup is made in 5 mins from whatever vegetables etc need finishing. I’d manage this ok.

coogee · 02/04/2021 17:50

Meanwhile, in Africa....

We don't live in Africa...

Rosieredapples · 02/04/2021 18:03

As a young teen my Dad was made redundant and the cupboards which were usually bursting became very barren quite quickly. Coupled with living for a short period in a other country when horrific flooding struck and food was beyond scarce means as an adult I over shop.
I always have spare bread rolls / loaf in the freezer, plenty of veg / fruit, a couple of made dinners in the freezer like stew and curry which I could defrost quickly and then the usual pasta / noodles and tins of soup / tomatoes etc. I could definitely make something decent but might be embarrassed that it's a nut of a mish mash compared to what I would usually offer.
Culturally my family fed every guest even the gas meter reader, you couldn't leave without a parcel of food being given to you, biscuits, jam, cakes all kinds.
The issue is not that you have enough in, it's that it's terribly rude for folks to show up and expect a meal / feeding when they were unexpected.

Retired65 · 02/04/2021 18:04

Once before covid, my son had a friend round and ask if this friend could stay for dinner. I said yes as my son often had dinner round this friend's house. I had though, to pop to the local One Stop shop to get another portion of chicken as I only had enough for the rest of us.

Mere1 · 02/04/2021 18:15

My parents were used to post war rationing, so there was always a stock and canned foods. I have caught the habit by using a freezer. I could feed extras but don’t waste food. Lots freezes well. Certainly bread.

DIshedUp · 02/04/2021 18:15

Dp seems to have a deep seated phobia of running out of bread, so yes I could probably feed half the town with the amount of bread in my freezer!

I normally have a couple of tins of tuna or beans in my cupboard. Plus crisps/nuts etc so could probably rustle up some nibbles. I don't think anyone pops round expecting to be fed, but if someone pops over for a cup of tea and your having a good time I don't want them to have to leave because their hungry!