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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be able to feed 3 extra adults unexpectedly for lunch?

565 replies

ImFree2doasiwant · 01/04/2021 14:17

I'm single, with 2 small children. I do a weekly meal plan and shop once a week.

If 3 extra adults dropped in for lunch, I'd either be able to feed them but have to go shopping again, or not have enough food in to feed them at all.

Its not like I can't afford to, I just buy the food that we, as a family, will eat. I have a small freezer. I could probably manage dinner better.

Am I that unusual?

OP posts:
LudoTrouble · 01/04/2021 14:18

I feel like there's a backstory to this, but no, I couldn't do that. I struggle to feed one extra child if someone has a little friend over unexpectedly.

I have friends whose home culture has ingrained in them that you always have enough in the house just in case of surprise visitors though.

myBumJuiceSmellsLikeRoses · 01/04/2021 14:20

I wouldn't be able to either.
I go shopping once a week (and don't do any little silly top ups since covid started).

Why would I buy food I don't usually need?

OldEvilOwl · 01/04/2021 14:20

Even if it was just a sandwich I would have to go and get more bread at least. I only have what I know will be eaten so there is no waste.

Zarinea · 01/04/2021 14:22

I could, but sometimes it might be a bit of a random meal.

Why?

Bloodypunkrockers · 01/04/2021 14:22

I've been in the position when I have to meal plan and count literally every penny

I would probably rustle up something to be polite but would do without myself.

I still remember the feeling when as friend dropped in and I used up the last of the milk to give her a coffee and her daughter licked her biscuit and didn't eat it

I was so close to the line I admit I cried when she left.

Feetupteashot · 01/04/2021 14:23

Bag of pasta and jar pesto in cupboard somewhere? Reckon I could manage some meagre offering

Overdueanamechange · 01/04/2021 14:23

Depends on whether fish finger sandwiches constitute a meal for adults. Placemarking for the backstop.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/04/2021 14:24

Well you're totally different to me, but I have no idea which of us is more Unusual. I always have a fully stocker larder and full chest freezer. I never meal plan (never heard of it before mumsnet), just do a weekly shop for fresh fruit/veg/dairy and whatever bargains are there for my larder/freezer. So, of an evening, I decide then and there what we're having. It works for me.

CuthbertDibbleandGrubb · 01/04/2021 14:24

Many people seem to shop for only a short horizon, many hate waste (I would hope everyone). I'd struggle so you are not alone.

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 01/04/2021 14:24

I could do something like pasta or scrambled eggs on toast 9 times out of 0

Ineedaneasteregg · 01/04/2021 14:28

My family joke that I have enough food to feed the street in our cupboards.
I grew up with limited food at times and always have a good stock of dried food and tins.
So I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum to you OP.

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 01/04/2021 14:30

I overshop due to childhood poverty so I always have loads in, but I'd probably struggle to make something nice on no notice. There's pretty much always pasta and tinned tomatoes in though, so I could make pasta with tomato sauce. I always have frozen peas, so I can make soup from that in no time flat, and I keep flour so can make a flatbread to go with that. Sandwiches and stuff would actually be harder!

AmyLou100 · 01/04/2021 14:32

I have friends whose home culture has ingrained in them that you always have enough in the house just in case of surprise visitors though.

That is my culture too. It's actually not about providing a 3 course meal, but making someone feel at home in your home and the way is through a meal or food.

namechangeaga1n · 01/04/2021 14:34

@arethereanyleftatall

Well you're totally different to me, but I have no idea which of us is more Unusual. I always have a fully stocker larder and full chest freezer. I never meal plan (never heard of it before mumsnet), just do a weekly shop for fresh fruit/veg/dairy and whatever bargains are there for my larder/freezer. So, of an evening, I decide then and there what we're having. It works for me.
Pretty much the same, but if I randomly popped in to someone I wouldn't expect them to feed me either.
moochingtothepub · 01/04/2021 14:36

I can because I'm a natural food hoarder, my cupboards and freezer can probably feed half the street (and it's very long), when the shortages occurred last year, I had 20kg of bread flour as an embarrassing example. My DD's used to regularly land extra guests on me

FusionChefGeoff · 01/04/2021 14:37

I have 3 freezers, 2 fridges and a stash in the garage so they would get a feast!!

Elzbells · 01/04/2021 14:39

Ugh my DH is like this. If anyone pops in when I'm about to serve dinner he always offers them to eat. Luckily they always politely decline as I only cook what we will eat and never have leftovers.

He thinks it's rude not to offer but doesn't consider that I would be giving up my meal - it's probably one of the only things that really piss me off about him!

If it was lunch I could rustle up a sandwich no problem though.

UCOinaUCG · 01/04/2021 14:54

There is only me and DH at home and I only buy what we need on a weekly basis. We have plenty of money but if you came the day before I was due to go shopping I wouldn't be able to offer much. That said I would very quickly be able to jump in the car to get to the shops and buy extra food if my visitors didn't mind waiting. I don't live in walking distance of any shops.

Rayna37 · 01/04/2021 14:54

I'd struggle with dinner without a few hours notice but not a basic lunch. It's rare we wouldn't have eggs and cheese, bread and fish fingers in the freezer, cans of tuna or beans, usually a bit of salad, mushrooms. Couldn't do sandwiches (we don't eat them ourselves) but anything with/on toast, toasties, omelettes, not too much of a problem.

Original poster
ImFree2doasiwant · 01/04/2021 15:02

We don't eat much bread, I don't at all really, so I buy half loaves,which even a full one would struggle to make sandwiches fir 3 adults.

If I was expecting people, that would be very different and I'd shop accordingly.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 01/04/2021 15:04

I usually have a few tins, some pasta, bread in the freezer, a bit of cheese, pesto, veg. However, IMO it is rude to just drop in and expect a meal. I would offer tea or coffee to an unexpected caller, but a meal is a bit much.

UhtredRagnarson · 01/04/2021 15:05

I wouldn’t be able to do it either OP.

As a child my dad always had friends who would randomly drop in or some family would. Often mum would be in the middle of making dinner and I don’t know how but she would magically be able to turn dinner for 4 into dinner for 6 or 8. She would always comment afterwards. “I don’t know how I managed that but I did!” Grin

Mrgrinch · 01/04/2021 15:05

It depends. I'm going to imagine you're talking about non-covid times. I get a lot of visitors just randomly stopping in, it's normal in my culture so I always have extra stuff in. If that would be an unusual occurrence then you can't be expected to always keep piles of extra food in. Also pretty sure adults are capable of feeding themselves.

pabloescobarselasticband · 01/04/2021 15:06

I always have enough food in that I could make extra meals. I was raised that you would never sit and eat in front of guests ( even if unexpectedly they arrive at meal time) without offering for them to join you. I always over estimate how much food I will need and it is awful how much goes to waste sometimes. However one of my pet hates is people who are stingy with food/portion sizes. My ex MIL was like that, she would invite people round for a BBQ and constantly be watching how many portions people ate and rolling her eyes! Its not very welcoming or inviting at all.

Sexnotgender · 01/04/2021 15:06

@Elzbells

Ugh my DH is like this. If anyone pops in when I'm about to serve dinner he always offers them to eat. Luckily they always politely decline as I only cook what we will eat and never have leftovers.

He thinks it's rude not to offer but doesn't consider that I would be giving up my meal - it's probably one of the only things that really piss me off about him!

If it was lunch I could rustle up a sandwich no problem though.

If he offers and there’s not enough then HE needs to give up his dinner!
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