To think that if you have a close group of friends from childhood it makes making friends easier throughout adult life?

[EvaporatedHour]

If you've got a good, close group of friends from childhood then I think it definitely makes it easier to make friends as an adult as you always have that group of friends so there is less of a need to make new ones, which in turn makes someone more sought after.

People just seem to warm more to someone who already has lots of friends.

We moved areas when I was 12 and left my childhood friends behind. I had to start at a new school where I was bullied and so didn't leave school with a core group of mates. I have friends I've made in adulthood but it's been hard at times, as everyone already seemed to have a best friend, and as I mentioned upthread, people aren't that receptive to those that don't already have lots of friends.

I think there may be an element of truth in what you say.
I had a great circle of friends at school and home from primary through to second year of secondary. Then we moved across the country. No friends and at school everyone has already made their circle. I didn’t keep any friends after that except another girl who joined the same year group a term later. We are still good friends 40 years later.
I make acquaintances not friends. When I leave jobs thats it. We move a lot and the same applies to neighbours and friends met through hobbies. I don’t keep friends.
If we hadn’t have moved , I suspect I would have had a much larger and stronger group of friends into adulthood and beyond.

Not my experience, I didn’t have a big group in school and I’m not in touch with many school friends. I tend to keep me really good friend from each phase, school, uni, jobs.
I now have more friends than I’ve ever had and they have all come from having my son (pre lockdown)
I’ve also had a lockdown baby and feel so sad for first time mums who won’t have had the chance to meet people like I did.
I have no idea how many other friends my current friends have to know if that makes me want to be crimes more or less.

I do put myself out there though, I was specifically looking for friends with babies when I was a new mum

I don’t think so. It would limit you to staying in the same area, or at least the same country, apart from anything else. I haven’t kept any childhood friends at all, and only one from secondary school, but I don’t see that would make any difference, anyway, as I haven’t lived in my home country for years. I’ve never struggled with friendships in adulthood, despite (because of) moving countries often.

My best friend is from when we went to school together. We're now 43.
I also made long term friends when I started work.
I have friends that I've met through my dd's and also DH.
I only have maybe 3 close friends and more every day kinda friends 😃😃

I think there's an element of truth to that. I never had a group of friends, was bullied badly in secondary, and lost all my confidence. Now, in my twenties, I really struggle with friendships and don't really have any

DP, on the other hand, had a large group of mates all through school, and still has loads of mates now (we're late twenties).

I’m not friends with one single person I went to school with & I’m largely antisocial now. So yeah maybe

I moved to the other end of the country at age 11 - no friends from then but plenty from secondary school and various jobs.

So YABU IMO.

I don't think that's necessarily true, but I do think that those with a LARGE circle from either childhood or teens are likely to be much more social as adults. Often people latch onto social butterflies in the hopes that it either rubs off on them, or that they'll have more opportunities to meet more people (because that person knows so many people).

I had close friends as a kid, the circle through school was very close but we didn't stay in touch past school.The other circle I'm still part of partly through family but we're all friends still and even though some people have drifted I'd still hang out with them if I bumped into them (joined a stag do on a friend's insistence a few years ago on a night out!). It's a fairly large circle. Probably 40+ people with the outliers. I don't find it particularly easy to make friends as an adult, I'm still shy.

It's a combination of confidence, friendliness, consistency, effort, and time that you need to make good friends as an adult. Without consistency, effort and time you can make lots of acquaintances but not necessarily close friends.
I can't be arsed much anymore but I go through phases when I make more of an effort - and then I'll make some new buddies through a hobby. Because I'll have the time to do so. Not everyone has the privilege.

I don't think it is true either.

I mean, I do think there is some truth in the correlation between having plenty of friends and easily making more friends, thought I also think there are lots of contributory factors to that.
However, I don't think it comes from leaving school with a big group of friends.
When I left school, people went off to universities all over the country. This was pre-social media so not that easy to keep in touch.

I just make friends easily when I am in different places and situations. I think a lot of that is I am happy to be friendly with everyone and have plenty of other friends so don't come across as needing new friends, which can be the case when someone has no friends.

Depends on the person I guess. I had a group of friends when I was in school but it fell apart once we all went to colleges. I've found a few new friends since but I think it's generally harder for me to make friendships now. There are some really good acquaintances but I wouldn't call these people friends.

I don’t have any friends from school, or from university, but have a lot of friends now.

I’m not in touch with anyone from school or university even but have good friends and a decent social circle. I do sometimes miss not having friends who share early memories but it’s had absolutely no impact on my ability to make and cultivate friendships as an adult.

Not really: If anything I think it’s limiting.

I am still in touch with a lot of people from my hometown - in a fairly low key way - and most of them are still in contact with people they knew as far back as primary school.

It’s a security blanket for sure but it also keeps you in a permanent comfort zone: it’s very difficult to redefine yourself if all your friendship circle knew you when you were five.

There’s a tendency in these situations for people to resent anyone who is ambitious and wants to change. And just no incentive to push yourself, learn new things and develop,

There’s definitely some benefits to having some people in your life who have known you ages. But if you’re not careful it can become very stifling and I don’t think it makes it any easier to make friends later in life.

Not in my experience.

It seems more likely that some people just find friendship easier. So they made/ maintained friends when they were younger and still make/ maintain friendships as adults. Some people find it harder so they didn't make many as children and continue to find it hard as adults.

I agree with you OP. We moved when I was 9 and then again at 14. It was difficult to keep in touch (before email) and friendship groups were already established. I’m not in touch with anyone from school.

My DD is in a lovely class and has some good friends. One of the reasons I refused to move when DH suggested it two years ago. I think it’s important.

Not in my experience. I didn't have many friends as a child as we moved around a lot, but I've found making friends relatively easy once I married, had kids and stayed put in one place. DH in the other hand has always lived around here and has friends from primary school and those are the only friends he has (he will happily socialise with my friends and their partners however) . He never makes new friends of his own.

I also have observed that people who have a very longstanding friendship group tend to feel they can’t be bothered making new friends (which I find incredibly depressing).

It’s probably working the other way around to the way you think: a person who has held on to a large group of friends since childhood is more likely to be a person who finds making and keeping friends easy, and this pattern continues in adulthood. The childhood friends are not causing the person to be good at making friends, they’re a result of being that kind of person to begin with.

I think you are backwards rationalising it because of your history.

I think making friends is due to being Inna particular situation, for example I made loads of lifelong friends in the first few weeks of university, if you work in quite a socialable you will make friends. Also personality is important, I know people who have moved to s new country an built up a large social circle in a few months.

I know other people who should have everything going for them.in terms of making friends, but somehow don't.