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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aggressive new neighbour

28 replies

neighbourproblem · 31/03/2021 20:57

My new neighbours moved in a couple of months ago (beg Feb) and the day they moved in, I had to call the police as the new neighbour was threatening to kill the ones moving out. The police came and things seems to calm down.

I contacted the HA on the same day to complain about them. I didn't hear anything back and in the meantime, my neighbours kept coming over to my property with letters or about other things, like works going on in their house. I didn't hear anything back from the HA and called again and they had lost my initial complaint so I complained again and included the neighbours constantly coming over, sometimes twice a day.

I still haven't heard from the HA but called again and they are apparently investigating but they haven't contacted me. My neighbour came over yesterday afternoon when I was in a meeting on Zoom. He knocked on my door and when I opened it just kept saying my name. I said 'Is this urgent as I'm in the middle of something.' He said no but he'd be back later. I contacted the police and they said they would put a marker on my phone and to dial 999 if he becomes aggressive.

He didn't come over but I'm not sure what to do now. I contacted the HA today and told them that he came over and gave them the police ref. I'm now thinking that I'm not going to answer the door to either of them again. Any advice?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 31/03/2021 21:02

I'm a little confused - maybe more info needed?

you phoned the police because he knocked on the door and said your name?

Mamamia456 · 31/03/2021 21:04

I'm not sure how he has been aggressive towards you. What did he say when he brought the letters over to you. Had they been delivered to his address by mistake. Has he threatened you in any way?

Raffles1981 · 31/03/2021 21:05

Keep a notebook close and write every incident down. I had nightmare neighbours, HA as well funnily enough, and I wish someone had advised me to write it all down. I can't offer much more I'm afraid. Apart from ignoring them when they knock. If they don't get a reaction, it may ease off. Sorry you have to deal with this OP.

itsgettingwierd · 31/03/2021 21:07

If they came over with letters about works going on in their house surely they were being considerate? Just ask them to post them?

But I also get get how he has been aggressive? Are you able to give more detail?

Original poster
neighbourproblem · 31/03/2021 21:10

@ghostyslovesheets

I'm a little confused - maybe more info needed?

you phoned the police because he knocked on the door and said your name?

I called the police because I have made a complaint about them to the HA. Part of my complaint is them coming over to my property, sometimes twice a day for unimportant reasons. That's part of the complaint, the major complaint against them was them threatening to kill and making racist remarks to, the old neighbours.

I was concerned that the neighbour was going to get aggressive with me as he was being investigated by the HA. I asked the police advice on what to do if he came back like he said he would and became aggressive.

OP posts:
Original poster
neighbourproblem · 31/03/2021 21:12

@itsgettingwierd

If they came over with letters about works going on in their house surely they were being considerate? Just ask them to post them?

But I also get get how he has been aggressive? Are you able to give more detail?

He was threatening to kill my neighbours as they moved out of their property. Calling them racist names and threatening to send them to A&E. He also threatened to get people he knew to kill them - it was a family with three small children moving out of the property.
OP posts:
Draculahhh · 31/03/2021 21:14

They don't sounds like especially nice people, however, you also sounds like a massive drama queen. Fancy calling the police because somo e knocked on your door, went away when requested and said they will call in another time. 😳

Original poster
neighbourproblem · 31/03/2021 21:14

@Mamamia456

I'm not sure how he has been aggressive towards you. What did he say when he brought the letters over to you. Had they been delivered to his address by mistake. Has he threatened you in any way?
I'm concerned that he is going to get aggressive with me because I have reported them to the HA and an investigation is being carried out.
OP posts:
Chloemol · 31/03/2021 21:18

The HA won’t tell them who has complained. And I think you are being a bit precious about him knocking on the door, it just seems innocent stuff, ie building works etc

Justmuddlingalong · 31/03/2021 21:19

You're worried he's going to get aggressive because you reported him to the HA. And now the police. But I think what we're struggling to grasp is why you reported him. What has he actually done to you to merit the reports?

TheGumption · 31/03/2021 21:20

They sound rough, you sound extra!

user1473878824 · 31/03/2021 21:21

Absolutely phone the police about the threats to the neighbour but you cannot call the police or complain to the HA because someone dropped letters round to you twice a day.

Unanananana · 31/03/2021 21:23

The racism and threats should be reported. But calling the police because they have knocked on your door a few times? Do give over. Drama much?

He won't know its you thats reported him to HA. Just ignore the door when they knock. Its not hard really.

Mamamia456 · 31/03/2021 21:26

He won't know it's you who has complained, but to be honest if the police were dealing with the incident with the previous tenants then it had nothing to do with you and I'm not sure why you needed to complain to the HA. Surely that should have been for the police and the previous tenants to do.

LemmysAceCard · 31/03/2021 21:27

I have never heard of HA tenants moving out the same day the new ones move in. Normally the house is vacated, the keys handed over then the HA inspect the house for any repairs or work that needs doing. There is normally a 2 to 3 week gap for the new tenants moving in the house is ok and no work needs doing, longer if repairs need to be made.

The only time this doesn’t happen is if it’s a house swap.

AmorYCohetes · 31/03/2021 21:30

@TheGumption

They sound rough, you sound extra!
right to the heart of the matter in six words.
Original poster
neighbourproblem · 31/03/2021 21:30

@user1473878824

Absolutely phone the police about the threats to the neighbour but you cannot call the police or complain to the HA because someone dropped letters round to you twice a day.
I didn't call the police because they came over about post.

I called the police because he was threatening the family moving out. I have no idea why they were moving in the or out the same day. I called the police for advice in case he came back and got aggressive with me last night. The police didn't come out, and I didn't complain to the police about them coming over.

OP posts:
TreeDice · 31/03/2021 21:35

YABU, why are you so involved? I get the initial complaint but surely the victims will carry it on from there? You're making an assumption that the neighbour was going to be aggressive when it sounds like they've never been aggressive to you, is this right?

Do you call the police every time someone knocks on your door incase they're aggressive towards you? Hmm

ScaredNeedHelp1 · 31/03/2021 21:42

@LemmysAceCard

I have never heard of HA tenants moving out the same day the new ones move in. Normally the house is vacated, the keys handed over then the HA inspect the house for any repairs or work that needs doing. There is normally a 2 to 3 week gap for the new tenants moving in the house is ok and no work needs doing, longer if repairs need to be made.

The only time this doesn’t happen is if it’s a house swap.

I was thinking that too. Very unusual.
ghostyslovesheets · 31/03/2021 21:44

but you said in your first post you called the police because he knocked on your door

My neighbour came over yesterday afternoon when I was in a meeting on Zoom. He knocked on my door and when I opened it just kept saying my name. I said 'Is this urgent as I'm in the middle of something.' He said no but he'd be back later. I contacted the police and they said they would put a marker on my phone and to dial 999 if he becomes aggressive

I'm very confused - however while the racist stuff is awful and should have been reported at the time - nothing else is a huge issue is it?

AcornAutumn · 31/03/2021 21:49

I get it OP

Someone you know to be aggressive and making threats of violence is turning up at your door and you are worried.

Is it likely to kick off if you say "i'm a very private person, please don't knock on the door"? Or if you say you have anxiety?

I'm sorry, it sounds like a tough situation to manage.

boredinthouse · 31/03/2021 21:54

Maybe don't answer the door if you're worried about him? I'm not sure why there's all this drama. You do sound a bit over invested.

Moonwatcher1234 · 31/03/2021 22:16

As a former housing lawyer who specialised in anti social behaviour, you are correct to be wary of interaction with a neighbour who has made threats to others. Do make sure you document all interactions and keep a record of dates and times.

I completely understand why you would feel uncomfortable with this neighbour turning up regularly at your property as he has demonstrated such appalling behaviour already albeit to others. I also agree that you should liaise with your HA and ensure they keep you anonymous.

To those who accuse you of “drama”, well, I can only say that it is a very easy and lazy accusation to hurl when you are not living next to somebody that you have heard make racist threats. As a professional formerly in this particular field, I can tell you that some people’s lives can be turned upside down by abusive and intimidating neighbours and some compassion is in order for those in close proximity

crowsfeet57 · 31/03/2021 22:19

If you keep calling the HA because your neighbour comes round and says your name as often as twice a day, they will conclude that YOU are the problem. If that happens they will be unlikely to act if he does actually threaten you.

You really need to calm down now and only report actual aggression or threats.

Flowerlane · 31/03/2021 22:23

Confused that you have complained about him?
Yes he shouldn’t have been aggressive or racist to previous people who lived there before but surely that is a police matter.
I don’t see what HA are looking into? He was aggressive to them not you? Confused