How much does your tradesman partner drink on an evening?

[2ddandabump]

How much is too much?

My partner is a self employed tradesman, like many of his friends, when the pubs were open, he used to bob into the pub on the way home for a pint or 2 before coming home. I say tradesmen, because that's who the pub was filled with, not blue collar workers (at our particular local anyway) they are all self employed roofers, joiners, brickies etc. Ever since the pubs closed my partner more often than not comes home every night with a 4 pack of larger, often the pint sized ones. He`ll drink 3 and often 4 each night. Apart from the cost and obvious health risks associated with drinking every day, I think this is excessive. He says it's no different from his friends who do a hard day's manual graft and fancy a drink on an evening. AIBU is this a lot? For info we have 2 older children (from my first marriage) and a ds age 15m together.

@Hotcuppatea that's a fair point about wine drinking.

I don't drink wine anymore, not for the past 7 years or so, I'm a gin drinker, but more on a Friday and weekends or out with the girls. The toddler sleeps OK ish, but I'm so tired with working and house stuff that I need to feel fresh the next morning, and do don't join him in a drink.

He doesn't drink hot drinks, so when I crave a cuppa, he has a beer.

@SaveWaterDrinkGin I agree that it isn't necessarily job related, I think he uses that as an excuse.

My dad had a manual job and has the odd beer on a weekend, and now doesn't drink..

He will have a beer first thing on a weekend morning, claiming its OK because its the weekend!! He doesn't eat breakfast so it's often the first thing he has.

We only ever drink one night of the weekend. I know my brother in law drinks quite a few maybe four nights a week. My brothers about the same..both tradesmen also.

I understand why you've mentioned his job, because if he discussed this at work it would be seen as acceptable.

But to me it isn't, drinking everyday is not healthy. Drinking 28 pints a week, is excessive for your health and finances? That must be costly him £40 a week.....on beer? And that's not including if he drinks more at the weekends?

Health wise, that's a lot of calories and strain on his body. There is a reason manual workers are twice as likely to die under 65 than office workers, yes it's due to demanding physical jobs but it's the drinking and smoking too.

OP I would say, as a compromise. No drinking mon-thurs. that's not unreasonable and see if he wants some help with it?
Get plenty of cans of Diet Coke or whatever soft drink he likes.
Sometimes it's the act of a opening a cold can to relax and the routine of it he needs to get out of it.

Doesn't sound great that he's having a beer for breakfast on a weekend. That must be really annoying for you as I imagine you never really get a break from dealing with the house and children.

I say tradesmen, because that's who the pub was filled with, not blue collar workers

Those are all blue collar workers.

You’re partners drinking would be a real turn off for me.

My dad was a joiner and didn’t drink anything during the week. Would have wine with dinner on a Sunday and would only drink otherwise on social occasions if he went out.

No, they are manual workers, blue collar workers are administrative roles that don't require qualifications, as iodised to professionals who are white collar workers. Terms rooted in outdated social conventions.

@RealisticSketch

No, they are manual workers, blue collar workers are administrative roles that don't require qualifications, as iodised to professionals who are white collar workers. Terms rooted in outdated social conventions.

No

I think the drinking first thing on the weekend is even more worrying tbh. Sounds like he’s very dependent on it.

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My exh is a tradesman, and also a heavy drinker, and also would say it was normal, because it is the norm in his circle. It’s not healthy, and it’s really not good for your older dc to see. And the trouble is four cans stops being enough, and then it’s five and then six, and there’s the cost.. to finances, to health, and to relationships.

As a comparison my husband works a physical job involving lots of walking with heavy gear, lifting etc. He's over 40, overweight but doesn't drink much at all (in his line of work random breath and drugs tests happen there are rules of zero tolerance to alcohol on shift). He doesn't fall asleep so early. He gets up for work around 5. He gets to sleep around 10, 9.30 if he's had a harder day of the work. Considering my husband isn't probably the healthiest, your husband seems to be falli g asleep quite early if it's not weight/ age/ level of fitness it could easily be the drink.

Depends what you're drinking, although that many isn't ideal anyway really

4 X fosters and 4 X supers is a very different experience, amount of alcohol and health impact

He will have a beer first thing on a weekend morning, claiming its OK because its the weekend!! He doesn't eat breakfast so it's often the first thing he has

This changes everything. This to me, crosses over from ‘likes a drink and drinks a bit too much’, to alcohol dependent.

@UhtredRagnarson

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Well well, I stand corrected, thanks. I've been labouring under an illusion for years!

I completely relate with you this is the same for me :(

4 cans of lager is a fair amount but not outrageous.

Really depends on what kind of lager as well. Some lagers can be 50% stronger than others, so 4 cans of a stronger lager can be equal to 6 cans of a weaker one.

I suppose the problem is what happens on the weekend, where people tend to drink more. If you are drinking 4 cans a day in the week add the weekend extra and it becomes quite a lot.

I don't think drinking 4 cans a night of weak lager is going to put you into alcoholic territory, but it is at the point where it could start to spiral out of control quite easily and 30 years of doing it is going to have health consequences.