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How to deal with this workplace bully

12 replies

Suzie2awaa · 31/03/2021 19:47

I’ve gone back to work after a long break and I’m feeling really intimidated by the caretaker in my place of work. He’s a bully. He doesn’t pick on others but will pick on me. I get anxious and flustered when I see him approaching me. Today was the final straw I got home and wrote him a very professional email and cc’d in my manager. I explained how I’m feeling and how I would like him to raise any issues he has to my line manager rather than shout at me infront of people. My managers are very pleased with me and yesterday I had glowing praise and was feeling really good but the caretaker has put my confidence right back down. He obviously sees me as a weak target.

I’m worried what response he’s written and how things will be tomorrow. I’ve decided not to check my emails until I go into work. Any advice on what I should say if he approaches me or manager wants to discuss?

OP posts:

HollowTalk · 31/03/2021 19:51

You dealt with this really well and should be proud of yourself. He hasn't got a leg to stand on. How can he say you asked for it, that you deserved to be shouted at? It's a really good idea not to check your email but if you are living with someone who could check and prepare you then it might help you to sleep tonight.


Emeraldshamrock · 31/03/2021 19:55

I wouldn't worry about upsetting him, he didn't worry about upsetting you.
As long as you were professional in your email.
Did you mention it to your line manager previously.


JayAlfredPrufrock · 31/03/2021 20:00

Well done you.

What was he doing?


Sn0tnose · 31/03/2021 20:12

Well done you.

It doesn’t matter what he thinks or what he says. He lost any professionalism the second he raised his voice to you. You’ve done absolutely the right thing. If I were you, I’d be seeking out your manager first thing. Partly so it’s not hanging over you all day, and partly so you can express that his treatment of you isn’t acceptable and ask what’s going to be done about it.


Suzie2awaa · 31/03/2021 20:14

No I’ve never mentioned it before so this will be first time he hearing about it. I have posted about him numerous times on here under different username as people in RL know my usual name.

He’s made me cry on the way to home I’m ashamed to say. I’m worried that management might make me feel like I’m overreacting and play down all the months of bullying I’ve had @

OP posts:

Suzie2awaa · 31/03/2021 21:10

Anymore advice anyone? I’m really nervous about tomorrow

OP posts:

JayAlfredPrufrock · 31/03/2021 21:17

Walk in with your head held high.

Channel the strength you had when you wrote the email.


EndOfLifeDoula · 31/03/2021 21:26

Unfortunately, I've seen this happen so many times before.

Make sure you keep all your communications and have a re-read before the morning. I've no doubt he will act shocked, never realised, no communication until now, never meant any offence, really sorry etc

Stick to your guns, his behaviour made you feel the way you do about it and that isn't right. Have a resolution in mind is, reiterate he needs to raise concerns with your line manager jot directly to you in front if others.

Good luck


EndOfLifeDoula · 31/03/2021 21:27

Jot = *not


HollowTalk · 01/04/2021 11:03

He needs to be told not to speak to you at all unless other people are present - it's awful that you are panicking about going to work.


Cherrysoup · 01/04/2021 11:38

You need to discuss with you manager and tell him/her that this person has been doing this for months: sustained bullying! His behaviour is totally unacceptable. If he approaches you before you have spoken to your manager, tell him very professionally that you do not wish to speak to him and if he has an issue, he can speak to your manager.


GrapeLipBalm · 01/04/2021 11:42

At my children's primary school there was a caretaker who shouted at people. It wasn't aimed at me but when a new Head joined he left

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