To ask for your tales of oneupmanship/eleven-erifing

[Blueeyedgirl21]

Ok so there’s someone I know and have who has to One up you all the time! Nothing can be just a trip to the shop, he has to have bumped into someone he knows who’s told him something amazing or whatever, you can’t say you’ve bought tickets for a gig without him knowing either a band member or having also got tickets but also having backstage access or whatever

So today put icing on cake. Doorstep chat whilst I dropped something off. Mentioned holidays and how it would be lovely to go.
Him: ‘I’m going to go and see Mike in Marbella’
Me: oh lovely, love Marbella!
Him: yeah got tons of mates out there, used to go regularly, can stay with them any time basically.’
Me: wow, that’s great. I like ‘insert random restaurant name here’ it’s fab isn’t it !
Him: never heard of that one, I know the owner of ‘random restaurant’ though, know them really well really close pals, so get free food all the time, I know most restaurant owners there
Me: wow, that’s a bonus isn’t it! How good!
Him: well I’ve been going for years so I’m well known
Me: my grandparents lived down the road in Estepona for 40 years so we used to go to Marbella sometimes with them
Him: ‘nah, Estepona is ok, but Marbella is really the best place to go. You want to get yourself to ‘insert random restaurant’ , better than what you’d find in Estepona.

I was just like oh ffs I was just trying to have polite conversation!! Why does everything have to be BETTER?!

I even once mentioned I got a new pair of trainers and he actually said ‘a friend of mine at work got those, but the limited edition ones, the really special ones, those are the ones you wanna look out for’

What is this behaviour ? ! It’s maddening !

Any examples of elevenerifing (you’ve been to Tenerife, they’ve been to Elevenerife...) you’ve come across??? Do I start trying to one up the one upper?!

I absolutely hate when you feel like what you’ve said has literally not been absorbed by the person. I’ve considered that the person I know may even have some sort of auditory processing issue because sometimes it’s like sound actually bounces off him and he doesn’t take it in.

I know a few people who do this exact thing. My mother is one, I have to persevere with her. My next door neighbour is another. I don’t reply properly anymore, I have learnt the hard way. It’s just “Gosh, wow, fantastic, that’s great” until she has offloaded her latest (made up) boast and I can get away.

I wonder how much 'feeding' actually encourages this behaviour though. I'd love to see the reaction to being asked why they feel the need to one up, or their reply to being asked if they have a processing issue as PP suggested because it might just give them pause for thought. I haven't got any one like this to try it on, which makes me wonder if they avoid people who will call them out, the same way as CFrs do.

@Mamette

I absolutely hate when you feel like what you’ve said has literally not been absorbed by the person. I’ve considered that the person I know may even have some sort of auditory processing issue because sometimes it’s like sound actually bounces off him and he doesn’t take it in.

I know a few people who do this exact thing. My mother is one, I have to persevere with her. My next door neighbour is another. I don’t reply properly anymore, I have learnt the hard way. It’s just “Gosh, wow, fantastic, that’s great” until she has offloaded her latest (made up) boast and I can get away.

Sometimes the only way to deal with it!