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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To buy myself a doll.

72 replies

Yorkiecurls · 31/03/2021 19:04

I have name changed. I think I might actually be going mad. I haven't told anyone this as I know they would fall about laughing but I am considering buying a baby doll. I'm 52, menopausal, my DC have grown up but have been here through lockdown, they have all got professional careers and aren't interested in having kids yet. I'm not lonely but have had a bit of a shit year as I've worked on a Covid ward throughout lockdown.
I so want to hold and cuddle a baby. I've taken to knitting baby clothes to give to the SCBU. I have a very spoilt dog and cat that are cuddled to bits. I have a lovely DH.
I don't know WTF is up with me.

OP posts:

BrilliantBetty · 31/03/2021 21:59

I plan to foster babies when my DC are all grown up.
Can't bear the thought of not ever getting to carry / cuddle / care for a baby. I love it and have always loved it. And there are babies out there who need those things.

I know you said your DH wouldn't want you to be a childminder... but could be worth a discussion anyway.

moochingtothepub · 31/03/2021 22:05

Might not be an option currently due to covid but some children's hospitals have volunteers who can cuddle babies and read to kids when their parents can't be there, there's also a need for respite carers, less of a commitment than foster care. Failing that, volunteer at a toddler group

Anothernameanothertime · 31/03/2021 22:08

Definitely buy a doll if you fancy one.

The best playgroups I’ve been to have volunteers offering to watch/hold your baby while you focus on toddler/nip to the loo/get a cuppa.

ExtraOnions · 31/03/2021 22:09

I’ve got a Baby Yoda toy .... cute as a button

5zeds · 31/03/2021 22:16

I was thinking you could foster too.

Boopeedoop · 31/03/2021 22:24

www.home-start.org.uk/
Have you thought about being a home start volunteer also?

My friends and I were also talking about missing babies to cuddle. I don't want one of my own again though 😃

Original poster

Yorkiecurls · 31/03/2021 22:27

Notthissticky
That is so lovely of you but I'm on the welsh borders so not close to you at all.
You are all so lovely.
I have just ordered a bluebell pot plant, just for the hell of it I think I will get a doll to ride me over the rest of lockdown, then I will look at volunteering. Fostering is something we have considered in the past but we have 3 adult kids here at the moment so it's not really feasible, I also do t think DH would be as keen as me! Especially at being woken in the night.

OP posts:

Notthissticky · 31/03/2021 22:38

@ItsMarch

I still sleep with my Teddy. DH thinks it weird but I couldn’t care less. I’d maybe not mention it to your friends though just in case they take the shine off it.

Snap! Really found it quite difficult when my toddler took a shine to him for a while so I had to go without

Notthissticky · 31/03/2021 22:41

@Yorkiecurls oh well, it was worth a shot. I'll let you know when I go and visit my grandad in Shropshire

steff13 · 31/03/2021 22:54

I never thought to volunteer to cuddle babies in the hospital! That's genius.

Yes, sometimes when they're in the NICU they have to be there for weeks or even months and the families have jobs or other kids and can't be there all the time. And, sadly, the babies who are going directly into foster care from birth don't have the care lined up until they're released from the hospital. So they don't have anyone to visit them.

toconclude · 31/03/2021 23:27

Well, it certainly wouldn't be for me, but it's your money and your life, ergo your choice.

PrincessTuna · 31/03/2021 23:33

I know exactly what you mean OP. I would love to hold a baby every now and then.

TaraR2020 · 31/03/2021 23:56

I don't see how its any odder then men and train sets and Rod Stewart apparently spends tens of thousands on his!

I love how you've had so many understanding and supportive posts, op

Idontlikethatnameanymore · 01/04/2021 00:04

Not quite the same but when I was menopausal most nights I dreamt that I had babies to birth, feed, clothe, care for and keep safe. I was knackered!
My head was obviously processing the end of that phase of my life.
Now I end up dreaming about lists and even spreadsheets!

35andThriving · 04/04/2021 22:20

Go for it. I get a lot of comfort from cuddling soft toys.

Spidey66 · 04/04/2021 22:30

I love adult colouring and have a huge selection of books.

It's not harming anyone, isn't illegal and is affordable. It's kept me amused in lockdown.

If that's what you like, do it.

everythingbackbutyou · 04/04/2021 22:51

@AdaThorne, no it is not!

everythingbackbutyou · 04/04/2021 22:53

@bloodywhitecat fosters. Perhaps she has some insights.

SameToo · 04/04/2021 23:05

I did always wonder why these dolls existed. Obviously they do for a reason. If you can afford it, buy it. I hope it brings you joy. I also think it’s lovely you knit for SCUB babies.

SoMuchBadInfo · 05/04/2021 01:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GuildfordGal · 05/04/2021 01:57

In some US care homes, residents (older than you, OP, but anyway) are given baby dolls to cuddle. I know one person who really benefited from this.

When my DD's play with dolls, I can while away a happy hour or two brushing hair and so on. It's quite soothing.

Go for it, OP, but also explore some of the terrific suggestions on this thread. You sound as though you have a lot to offer.

caringcarer · 05/04/2021 02:44

When my children grew up I became a foster Mum and got a cute 5 years old boy. He is still with me but almost 15 now.

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