To ask if the art of communication is lost?

[MaMaD1990]

I am genuinely interested in this since being on MN. So many issues on here can be solved with some basic communication and I wonder what has happened for people not to be able to have a reasonable conversation with a loved one? Is it technology and people don't know how to have a calm conversation in person anymore? Is it something else? Obviously if one party is completely obnoxious or abusive a simple conversation most likely wouldn't go down well, but I'm talking about two reasonable human beings being able to listen to one another and come to a resolution with communication.

YANBU. I'm always shocked by the amount of people saying "Put a note through the door", when someone's neighbour is using their bin or parking in the wrong place.

Also, the amount of really petty complaints people are making about supermarket staff etc, because they go home and hide behind a keyboard rather than ask to speak to the manager there and then.

And don't even start me on how many MNetters say "I don't like confrontation", when all it actually is, is polite basic communication with neighbours etc.

I'm with you @WorraLiberty

I think that's the thing. People view a conversation as a confrontation act, but with a bit of thought and out I the right way, so much upset can be avoided. I've gone in all guns blazing before and its ended terribly but I've also sat and stewed on an argument overnight but got my thoughts together and put my views across in a structured and understanding manner, and everything has been fine.

An ex-bf of mine works with lots of university students on work experience placements.

And he said that Facebook has killed the 'art of small talk'. He said that they can't even talk about twaddle like the weather, or weekend plans.

He's convinced and I think he has a good point.

There seems to be a lot of anxiety around, I've been reading some posts with interest. A lot of people are scared of confrontation because they worry about the reaction they get, or making it worse.
I used to be like this, but actually if you think about it is a terrible way to be. Not only are you making presumptions about someone before you have met them, you are potentially stopping them from funding out useful information.
I personally would like to know if I'm causing bother and I don't mind making small adjustments for other people. Im actually deaf, and I'm always worried that I'm too noisy, as I have no idea! I didn't realise having my washing machine on at night would wake someone for example.
I do still understand if its with neighbors, or a partner, you might get stuck with a raging issue. But then again, the small talk, the chit chat and early "confrontation" can help you avoid the situation in the first place. Not to mention dropping hints or a smaller issue and testing the waters with their reaction to see what kind of person they are before asking about the larger issue.

Agree. People are rarely very articulate or well spoken. It really surprises me when I hear grown adults struggling to complete a sentences without using "Like" or "You know." Or my absolute pet hate: "So I was like..... and they were like.... so I said.... and they were like...." NOT. A. CONVERSATION!!!

@Notanotherhun

Agree. People are rarely very articulate or well spoken. It really surprises me when I hear grown adults struggling to complete a sentences without using "Like" or "You know." Or my absolute pet hate: "So I was like..... and they were like.... so I said.... and they were like...." NOT. A. CONVERSATION!!!

But these are very common filler phrsaes/words, nobody is 'struggling' to speak without them. They're just commonly used - and in the case of 'you know', serve a purpose (to encourage agreement/empathy from the listener).

Linguistic snobbery pisses me off more, to be honest.

It's not snobbery when it takes so long to communicate a simple message in between filler. Being concise and clear is important. I resent being called a snob for expecting people to be clear in their meaning without having to constantly stop start with fillers.