Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driveway being used as neighbourhood play area

154 replies

Chafl · 30/03/2021 18:04

I've just moved onto a new build estate, where most of the houses are off to the left or right of the main street, with neighbours sharing a narrow drive / access path (no pavement), which is unadopted by the council and for access only, not parking (don't have the deeds yet, but been referred to as this by the sales team).

Ours steps uphill and joins what is going to be a green area, when finished, and since the sun has come out, has attracted just about every child on the estate with their bikes, scooters, roller blades, skateboards..

I'm not just talking about neighbours' children playing in front of their own property next door, which I need to pass over to get home, (I am in the middle house) but loads of them constantly whizzing up and down outside, congregating and making it difficult to come and go.

The number of them means they encourage each other to keep going and won't move when you try to leave the driveway, so a quiet word with one won't really work.

I don't know any of their parents yet, and don't really want to get off on the wrong foot - be that upsetting them by asking them to leave, or allowing it to happen.

AIBU to think that it's only 'shared' for the actual residents and is actually our 'shared' private property, or should I (and the neighbourhood kids) be treating this like a public space?

OP posts:
NoProblem123 · 30/03/2021 19:43

Yep, another’s vote for a cold hosing !
It’s been dry for a day so your grass must be needing it Grin

skeggycaggy · 30/03/2021 19:43

[quote AnImposter]@skeggycaggy not her green space, a general green space usually in the middle of the development. Although in all fairness this is almost always the last thing the developers seem to do [/quote]
Yes, sorry I meant the estate’s green space. What I mean is, doesn’t sound like the developers have created green space if the only space Op mentions is forbidden to play on? Or are you saying they will presumably be sorting some, but it’s their last priority?

sunflowersandbuttercups · 30/03/2021 19:44

But OP says her green space has ‘keep off the grass signs on it’.

That could be because it's a new development and the grass is still growing properly.

AnImposter · 30/03/2021 19:45

@skeggycaggy it was a general comment in response to your new build being community and kids playing out comment. I agree it's good for the kids to have somewhere to play and socialise within their community, which is why here we have a mandatory green space for that rather than them having to play on the roads.

Jojoanna · 30/03/2021 19:46

OP it would drive me mad too

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 30/03/2021 19:52

Knitterbabe anyone can put up keep off the grass signs. Keep off the grass signs do not mean land is private. It could mean recently seeded soil or just that people have put the signs up without any right to do so. Additionally the signs are not on the grass near the op (which doesn't belong to her and isn't correctly described as hers) but on similar green areas.

People in glass houses and all that...

VivaBahhumbug · 30/03/2021 19:52

I'm sorry OP, you've bought a house in what's probably an estate designed for families.

No. There is no such thing these days. Estates are designed to save space and therefore maximise profit. That's it. If they aren't providing much on-road parking space they may well try and spin it as 'we trying to discourage car usage' but that's patently bollocks. It's about squeezing in as many houses as possible into the smallest area possible.

No-one but a fool would design a road with no proper pavement but still allow car access and say it was designed for families.

Reinventinganna · 30/03/2021 19:55

This is why I couldn’t live on an estate.

SofiaMichelle · 30/03/2021 19:55

I feel for you, OP.

A lot of parents think that residential driveways and other private property are there just for their PFBs. No respect for others, no care for how much racket is made. Cars and property will be damaged and no shits will be given.

We bought on a new build cul-de-sac and ended up moving after 18 months. It was like living in a fucking playground. The summers were hideous!

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 30/03/2021 20:07

Aren't people unpleasant?

My kids are older now but I'm happy to look out for other people's small children.

We live in a very rural area, an old, old village not an estate. Children play on the very quiet road. Its nice. They aren't my children.

We live by the playground. Children play there. My children once, not any more. Children ring my doorbell. Sometimes they have a skinned knee or a flat tyreon their bike. If I'm home I help. If my big kids are home they help.

Wtf is wrong with people who resent children playing outside during the day in a civilised way?

Shrivelled · 30/03/2021 20:15

You’re on a new estate. There should be space for children to play. If the developers are being too tight fisted and not building it (this always happens), you need to get onto them, not harass the kids. Telling the kids to move on won’t solve the problem. They need somewhere to move to.

Fire55 · 30/03/2021 20:17

I feel for you OP. We have a similar layout which causes similar problems every summer, cars have been damaged and we have litter outside everyday. Politely asking doesn’t work and neither does polite but firm. Parents say “won’t have been my .....” Hopefully your experience won’t be as bad

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 30/03/2021 20:27

Why though Fire55 ? Why do you feel for the op? Because she has to look before pulling out of her drive? Because she's bad tempered and dislikes happy kuds playing out? Nobody has damaged her property. Nobody is being loud, late at night or early in the morning. Nobody is on her property. She has decided she has rights over a bit of road. She isn't allowed to park there. She doesn't want kuds playing there but she hasn't provided any reason for believing she should be able to stop them. She just resents them playing. Wtf would you "feel for" someone who just wants little kids, of a "playing" type age, who are playing - not even speaking to her or in any way intruding on her property, not being loud, to fuck off from the road outside her house?

mackleless · 30/03/2021 20:28

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

Why though Fire55 ? Why do you feel for the op? Because she has to look before pulling out of her drive? Because she's bad tempered and dislikes happy kuds playing out? Nobody has damaged her property. Nobody is being loud, late at night or early in the morning. Nobody is on her property. She has decided she has rights over a bit of road. She isn't allowed to park there. She doesn't want kuds playing there but she hasn't provided any reason for believing she should be able to stop them. She just resents them playing. Wtf would you "feel for" someone who just wants little kids, of a "playing" type age, who are playing - not even speaking to her or in any way intruding on her property, not being loud, to fuck off from the road outside her house?
maybe she hates children. As she is entitled to. I know I do
Paquerette · 30/03/2021 20:30

OP so to be clear, the kids are all playing on the road that is just access to three properties, including your own, and are being complete PITA's when you need to drive on the road to get to/from your house?

If so YANBU. They shouldn't be blocking your access, being a nuisance, and also a nightmare in terms of liability and wear and tear.

Your OP reads as the kids are playing your green space which will lead to a communal green space. If so, very annoying, but probably a bit more difficult to complain about.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 30/03/2021 20:31

mackleless maybe that's it. You can hate old ladies, or disabled people, or people from China too, but you can't ban them from standing outside your house chatting for hours unless they're in your garden.

Fire55 · 30/03/2021 20:42

Except they are on her property, it’s a shared drive that her and her other two neighbours own parts of. By the sounds they are also basically refusing to move out of the way for her when she leaves or returns home, which we also experience
No one has said they just hate children playing out, they are on her property and it’s causing problems for her

SpringTimeDream · 30/03/2021 20:50

My partner has a new build and this happens in front of his house since open plan and driveways all open..... never buy one since nothing much you can do about it.

Ohdeariedear · 30/03/2021 20:51

We have these here - two or three houses on private driveways off the ‘main’ road that are only for the owners to access their houses, they are not actual roads. I’d never buy a house with one of these because of the scenario the OP is describing. Plus, if your neighbour between you and the street decides to park like a knob/get a caravan/park on the shared drive, you’re fucked. (And I have seen all of the above in the streets by me).

SilverBirchWithout · 30/03/2021 21:09

People seem to be missing the point that the OP owns the access road outside the front of her property, it is not common land. The only person who has the right to cross the front of her property is her next door neighbour on one side.

MouseholeCat · 30/03/2021 21:20

Go talk to your neighbours on either side (and I guess opposite if this is a mews setup?) and find out whether any of the kids are theirs. It's most likely that the kids are there because at least one of them lives there.

From a safety perspective, you do need to highlight that you're concerned the kids aren't moving when you're trying to drive to your house.

I don't think it's unreasonable for kids to play outside, but they should be acting safely around cars and not blocking access.

donquixotedelamancha · 30/03/2021 21:40

We have a really large shared drive which is used for scooters and bikes by several neighbour's kids. My solution is to say hi to them and bring them occasional drinks and snacks.

For some reason I never seem to have an issue when I ask them to move or give safety warnings.

StoneofDestiny · 30/03/2021 21:45

Talk to the developers if they are still building , see what more permanent fixtures could be put up to stop kids congregating where you are. Keep off the grass signs wont work. From a safety point of view it would be a nightmare for kids and drivers to have this situation.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 30/03/2021 21:46

SilverBirchWithout does she though? She doesn't seem to know whether she does or not, and has only a vague impression she might be responsible for upkeep, which would be true of an unclaimed road not a driveway - and even then she isn't sure.

StoneofDestiny · 30/03/2021 21:49

Thinking something along the lines of prickly bushes being planted there instead of grass