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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Difference between bras and bikini tops?

90 replies

ILovetheSunshine1234 · 30/03/2021 17:48

Genuine question here and it's in relation to a Dailymail article (yes I know):

mol.im/a/9417311

There is a picture among tons of images of women on the beach with bikinis and among these pictures is a picture of 2 women on Barry Island wearing shorts and a bra.

A lot of the commenters on Dailymail are saying how the women look like 'typical Barry island girls', 'why are they wearing their underwear and not a bikini?' "Walking around in bras - classy"

AIBU to think that these ladies are getting a hard time over the bra picture? I mean, I wouldn't personally walk around in my bra but I wouldn't resort to calling these ladies 'scummy', 'not classy' 'typical Barry girls'.
There are tons of images of women in bikinis so I really don't see the difference apart from they're wearing bras... but bikinis look like bras?

Also men can walk around topless? I don't see commenters being disgusted by that.

OP posts:
Winter2020 · 30/03/2021 18:50

I wouldn't want to see men walking around the streets in their boxers - even though they are similar to shorts.

Original poster
ILovetheSunshine1234 · 30/03/2021 18:53

@Winter2020 but i'm not talking about boxers. I'm talking about the top-half of the body in which men can freely walk around with their nipples out yet 2 women in a bra are ridiculed

OP posts:
Original poster
ILovetheSunshine1234 · 30/03/2021 18:55

@ThisForUnpopularOpinions I find this whole "breasts are sexual organs" a bad excuse; there are plenty of European countries in which women happily lay on the beach topless; For some reason, many people in this country expect a woman to cover them up.

I am not saying I would walk around in my bra or topless, but if a man can walk around topless, then what is the problem with those 2 women in a bra among other women in bikini tops? Maybe they were wearing a jacket and got hot? Maybe they had a jumper on and got hot?

OP posts:
Stoppissingonmyheather · 30/03/2021 18:57

@ILovetheSunshine1234 I would.... Sorry that is reverse misogyny (or something) I apologise

RavingAnnie · 30/03/2021 18:58

@DemiBourbon

It’s bonkers really, there’s no difference between a bikini top and a bra.
This. Clothes "rules" like this (I'll just drop in pyjamas/lounge wear here) are just bizarre and make no logical sense imo. How is one clothes item that has straps and two cups, different from another item that has straps and two cups. Just because one says "bra" in the packet.
Stoppissingonmyheather · 30/03/2021 18:58

That was answering to winter2020 lol

RavingAnnie · 30/03/2021 19:00

@Mellonsprite

I guess bras are flimsier, Lacy and more see through? I wouldn’t wear a bra thinking it’s just like a bikini top, I agree with the opinion it’s tacky.
Mine aren't. I now have huge boobs. My bras are in no way "flimsy". I think building engineers put them together.
RavingAnnie · 30/03/2021 19:01

[quote ILovetheSunshine1234]@mackleless life would be more pleasant if people didn't judge people and that's whether Dailymail was about or not[/quote]
Agree with you there wholeheartedly. Being judgy is a way worse character trait than wearing a bra in public.

ChiefBabySniffer · 30/03/2021 19:02

@ThisForUnpopularOpinions

Men's chests are not sexual organs in the same way women's breasts are. To compare men going topless with women is being disingenuous.
You can NOT be serious? Which bit of the tit is a sexual organ? Because last time I checked, the whole reason they are there is to feed babies.
NewAgeWiccan · 30/03/2021 19:03

Men's chests are not sexual organs in the same way women's breasts are.

Breasts are not sexual organs, they exist to feed babies, not to sexually stimulate or pleasure men. It's society thats made them sexual which is a bit odd when you think about it.

malmi · 30/03/2021 19:03

Bras are underwear.
Breasts are secondary sexual characteristics.
Men don't wear bras because they don't have breasts.

Men can go topless in public in certain situations (eg beach) because they're not showing underwear or breasts.

We don't have a culture of openly bearing breasts or displaying underwear in public.

RavingAnnie · 30/03/2021 19:06

@ChiefBabySniffer aren't they both? I thought that we have developed boobs in the way humans have them is so they look more like bums. Bums are the attractive bit in many apes I believe. And when we started walking upright our bums were less obvious and so boobs developed so we were attractive to males?

Not sure if that's right or a myth?

RavingAnnie · 30/03/2021 19:07

Also my boobs are definitely a sexual organ in terms of sexual pleasure so I really do think they serve two functions.

Still think Bras are the same as a bikini top though.

Honeyroar · 30/03/2021 19:08

I get what you’re saying OP and I agree, but it’s just social conditioning. I think bras are deemed as sexy clothes, they are often more lacy and less opaque than a bikini top. (and no my bras aren’t very sexy, just huge grey things!). Most bikini tops I’ve had were thicker, double fabric. Personally I’d rather both sexes kept at least a sun top on when not on the beach. Most people don’t rock the all out look.

VeganVeal · 30/03/2021 19:10

If you do wear just your bra avoid the peep hole type as I found out

ThatsNotTheTeaHunty · 30/03/2021 19:13

I think it's a bit tacky. You put this in AIBU so expect varied responses and don't get offended when people judge.

I'm sure the girls wearing the bras out in public didn't get this offended.

Aprilx · 30/03/2021 19:14

OP I find it quite difficult to believe that you cannot tell the difference between a bra and a bikini top. I can tell the difference just as easily as I can tell when a man is wearing underwear versus swimming trunks.

ChiefBabySniffer · 30/03/2021 19:17

@RavingAnnie

Gorilla's, orangs etc all have breasts in the same place as ours. But humans are the only primates that have permanent breasts. In other species the swollen breast tissue means they are suckling young. It is very much our society that has sexualised The female breast to be something other than a food source for our babies. It's just another way to control women .

DynamoKev · 30/03/2021 19:19

What about COVID!!!!!
All those people on the beach

PenguinIce · 30/03/2021 19:21

I think certain bras you can get away with as a bikini. I have worn a bra as a bikini top in the past when I have gone to a beach and it was hotter than I realised, assume these women have done the same. Wouldn’t do it with lacey/see through ones though.

Slightly off topic but does the Daily Mail have a resident pervy bloke who runs out of the office at the first hint of some sunshine to take pictures of women in bikinis? It just seems a bit creepy to me.

Original poster
ILovetheSunshine1234 · 30/03/2021 19:21

@Aprilx the question was hypothetical. Of course, I can tell the difference between a bra and bikini but what is the different in terms of what the cover up? Bikini tops sometimes cover even less than a bra.

OP posts:
RavingAnnie · 30/03/2021 19:23

[quote ChiefBabySniffer]@RavingAnnie

Gorilla's, orangs etc all have breasts in the same place as ours. But humans are the only primates that have permanent breasts. In other species the swollen breast tissue means they are suckling young. It is very much our society that has sexualised The female breast to be something other than a food source for our babies. It's just another way to control women . [/quote]
But ours are permanently swollen I believe to attract males. Plus female nipples are an erogenous zone. I don't think boobs being sexual is made up thing to control women. I think that's a massive oversimplification. Us having to hide them away is obviously cultural though as boobs are on display in many cultures.

Boobs are fabulous and multi purpose 😊

malmi · 30/03/2021 19:26

[quote ChiefBabySniffer]@RavingAnnie

Gorilla's, orangs etc all have breasts in the same place as ours. But humans are the only primates that have permanent breasts. In other species the swollen breast tissue means they are suckling young. It is very much our society that has sexualised The female breast to be something other than a food source for our babies. It's just another way to control women . [/quote]
It's not "society" that sexualised the breast, it's nature. As humans evolved to walk upright the permanent breasts evolved as a sexual marker and to attract males in the way that buttocks do in other primates. And males generally find them sexually attractive, society or no. That's why the breasts evolved that way. Unless you have another theory.

crosstalk · 30/03/2021 19:28

I'm going to derail the thread.

How about no man with a pot belly should be seen on a street shirtless? In any country?

malmi · 30/03/2021 19:29

[quote ILovetheSunshine1234]@Aprilx the question was hypothetical. Of course, I can tell the difference between a bra and bikini but what is the different in terms of what the cover up? Bikini tops sometimes cover even less than a bra.[/quote]
There may be no difference in terms of what they cover up but one is beachwear and one is underwear. So they carry different meanings. You don't have to care but don't act like you literally can't understand why others might