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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unbelievable!

61 replies

Cloverleaf20 · 30/03/2021 17:22

Found out yesterday my sister took her two cats to a rehoming centre as she’s basically fed up of them! They are old cats, the thought of the poor things being stuck in a cage shocked has made me feel I don’t what anything to do with her again ! AIBU to feel this way ?

OP posts:
Tossblanket · 30/03/2021 17:29

No, that's a shit thing to do.

Selinaserena · 30/03/2021 17:44

Perhaps your sister is struggling with other things as well? Have you asked her? I've noticed lockdown affecting people's ability to deal with stuff they would have been able to in the past.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/03/2021 17:46

Well no, it’s not unbelievable.

Have you offered to take them?

Hadjab · 30/03/2021 17:51

I’m not a pet owner so could somebody please enlighten me as to why rehoming your pet isn’t actually a responsible thing to do? Surely the alternatives are worse?

Original poster
Cloverleaf20 · 30/03/2021 17:57

I firstly didn’t know she was doing it. Just fed up of them and secondly I have got a house full of animals here already . The reality of old cats being rehomed together is very slim unfortunately.

OP posts:
floridamanatee · 31/03/2021 11:21

I would tell her what I think. It may hurt her feelings but she needs to know she can't just discard animals in a rehoming centre next time she's tempted to get a long-lived pet

jessstan2 · 31/03/2021 12:26

What a horrible thing to do.

millionmilesaway · 31/03/2021 12:27

Yanbu :(
Ive seen you cant take them yourself-id be temped to go try get them back if not :(
Do you know why?

Aprilx · 31/03/2021 12:30

@Hadjab

I’m not a pet owner so could somebody please enlighten me as to why rehoming your pet isn’t actually a responsible thing to do? Surely the alternatives are worse?
When you take on a pet, you take it on for life. You don’t rehome it when it gets old. Yes taking to a rehoming centre is better than drowning in the river, but better still you continue to provide a home.

Hope that helps.

RainingZen · 31/03/2021 12:30

I cannot understand how anyone could do that. Have you asked her why, really why? Poor cats I feel so sorry for them.

Maybe she will repent and get them back. They won't be rehomed, and they will be so unhappy and then die.

I would say to her, "when you are old and we are sick of you, we'll just dump you in a cage with no one you know, shall we? And then just let you die, miserable and alone."

Awful thing to do.

Cheeseandlobster · 31/03/2021 12:48

@Hadjab

I’m not a pet owner so could somebody please enlighten me as to why rehoming your pet isn’t actually a responsible thing to do? Surely the alternatives are worse?
Because very few people want an older cat, nevermind 2, that may incur more costs in vet care than a younger cat. Because they will have lived in a home all their lives and will now be scared and bewildered. Because unless there is a very valid reason, its an awful thing to do to an older pet whos whole world is you.

Op your sister is awful. Has she said why she has done this? I hope she doesnt now get a puppy or kitten to replace her poor other pets Angry

Babyroobs · 31/03/2021 12:52

@Hadjab

I’m not a pet owner so could somebody please enlighten me as to why rehoming your pet isn’t actually a responsible thing to do? Surely the alternatives are worse?
It is a responsible thing to do if you have a decent reason like having to move to rented accommodation that won't take pets or your child develops a severe allergy to cat hair. To rehome them just because you are fed up of them is the shittiest of all reasons especially older pets who will be hard to rehome. Pets are for life not just until you get fed up of them. We had to re-home two cats when we left new Zealand to come back to the UK and it broke our hearts, but fortunately managed to find good homes for both. I still feel guilty 20 years later though that they would have felt bewildered and wondered where we had suddenly gone overnight particularly the female one who was very attached to me.
pumpkinpie5 · 31/03/2021 12:53

I work for a large rehoming charity, and whilst it can be a horrible decision to have to make, she has been responsible by rehoming them this way rather than place an ad on social media like many do.

We rehome older pets really well, and will always keep bonded pairs together. We are actually inundated with homes at the moment as demand for cats is high. We also look to place older cats with home fosters wherever possible so they have a home from home experience.

If she has handed them in to a licenced charity, please take some reassurance they they will do the best by these cats. They are surprisingly resilient and do really well.

wizzbangfizz · 31/03/2021 12:55

That is reassuring @pumpkinpie5 but as for the OPs sister I think that is despicable- pets are for life!

Babyroobs · 31/03/2021 12:55

@pumpkinpie5

I work for a large rehoming charity, and whilst it can be a horrible decision to have to make, she has been responsible by rehoming them this way rather than place an ad on social media like many do.

We rehome older pets really well, and will always keep bonded pairs together. We are actually inundated with homes at the moment as demand for cats is high. We also look to place older cats with home fosters wherever possible so they have a home from home experience.

If she has handed them in to a licenced charity, please take some reassurance they they will do the best by these cats. They are surprisingly resilient and do really well.

That's really reassuring to read Pumpkin.
thevicarstroketwice · 31/03/2021 12:57

Wait until things are back to "normal"...

The number of pets being re-homed will go absolutely through the roof. No none will have the finance to keep them, that's a lot of pets being put to death because of selfish and irresponsible idiots.

Suzi888 · 31/03/2021 12:57

YANBU
She will prob get more petsAngry

woodhill · 31/03/2021 12:58

Yes, that's upsetting and seems quite callous yanbu😞

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 31/03/2021 13:06

Whereabouts is she? I adopt older cats because I know nobody else will.

dudsville · 31/03/2021 13:08

That's so sad. In my family we have my household and my father's who think of pets and care for them similarly, then there's a downward slope from various levels until you get to my uncle - I can't speak with him. And yes, the way he cares for pets exemplifies his general values and approach to life. Some people shouldn't be allowed the responsibility of dependent living things.

Goleor · 31/03/2021 13:28

Sadly pets can't always be for life. Things happen and sometimes the best thing for the animal is to be rehomed. the animals wellbeing comes first and thats what your sister has done here.

2bazookas · 31/03/2021 13:42

Old pets like old people often develop new and difficult "issues" , get tetchy, go deaf or blind, become incontinent, need frequent care and medication.. It's up to the owners to adjust, and manage the change.

Saw a TV news report the other day that as people go back to work rescue centres are now experiencing a surge of young healthy "lockdown pets" who are no longer needed./wanted.

Arbadacarba · 31/03/2021 13:43

Have the cats become incontinent? Having been through an elderly cat suffering incontinence, I can vouch for how stressful that is, day in, day out. You seem to spend your life cleaning up accidents and there can be other consequences. My poor old fella (19) once peed onto an extension socket and tripped whole mains ring. He was on several medications and administering those was another daily stress.

Eventually his quality of life began to deteriorate so he had to be PTS. I thought the world of him and still miss him every single day. I was happy to do what it took while he was still happy, eating well and agile, but I was lucky in a way as I don't have children and my other cat was young, so I could devote my life to giving him the best 'sunset years' possible. I can see how it might be too much for someone with other responsibilities.

Rehoming older cats - often older people like an older cat, as they don't want the cat to outlive them. Also older cats tend to sleep a lot and (unless incontinent) are lower maintenance than young cats who are into everything.

Ultimately, whatever the reason, it's sad that your sister has had to do this but at least she has done the responsible thing by going to a cat rescue.

thevicarstroketwice · 31/03/2021 13:47

@Goleor

Sadly pets can't always be for life. Things happen and sometimes the best thing for the animal is to be rehomed. the animals wellbeing comes first and thats what your sister has done here.
bet people would also be quick to rehome their children if they had a way.
ClaireEclair · 31/03/2021 14:12

I think at the moment cats of any age are in demand so hopefully they will go to a lovey home soon. We rehomed an older cat (10) a few years ago and she was one of the best little cats we have ever had. We will always adopt an older cat from now on.