Regret the person you chose to father child???

[RMRMJ]

Hi. I've been looking through the boarding school thread.

I feel so guilty that I chose to have two children with a man they don't often get to see.

I know it's "normal" for my children but on the thread there was lots of discussions on whether it's fair for military families (wife and child/ren) to "follow" their husbands around the uk/ world and uproot the kids away from school / friends / family every couple of years.

Both are kids were planned. DH bought our house (I don't work autism / ocd / anxiety) so he pays the mortgage / bills and we just stopped here whilst he came / comes home when he can. Over the past 16 years he's had Christmas / Easter at home. Every couple of months he has 1 or 2 weeks off. Now he's quite senior he can work from home more often.

Because of his role there are only 3 places he can work within the uk and they are between 220-330 miles from our home so non are close.

Named changed.

If it’s a cause for concern could you move closer to his place of work?

@CloudFormations

Not so much now but he's been to war 7 times for 6 months so I prefer to be near family then.

Also he's only moved twice in 20 years which is unheard of. If we had moved that would have been 2 schools so far plus who knows where he will be for the next 2.

I think it isn't easy to be a military wife.

My husband's aunt was married to an army officer and they moved house several times during their marriage. Their children boarded. Aunt really liked the lifestyle but you either do or you don't. It doesn't suit everyone and a lot of military marriages break up.

I hope you find a middle ground, op. Now that husband can work at home more it will make life easier.

Thanks. He only has 3 years left until he can retire but he may still end up with a job where he works away.

I just feel so bad. They say they are happy he's not always here but that's because he is stricter than me (not too strict but I let them get away with so much).

It must be hard being on your own with children so much. I hope you have a nice home and some social life.

I'm sure it's worse for you than it is for them.

My mums husband never lived with us as he was in the military and she felt it was unfair to move us away from our family and friends.

100% think she made the right choice. We never wanted a different living situation as we didn't know any different and the stability of our extended support network was important to us as we grew up especially when mums DH went away for long stretches.