I divorced my ex husband 5 years ago because of him being violent towards me on two occasions, emotionally abusive (constantly undermining me) and because of his substance misuse. I have two dd’s (now 7&6 years old). His contact with them is court ordered.
Ex H moved straight back in with his parents when we split up and he has lived there ever since. He has never had DD’s overnight because there is no room for them at his parents, (2 bed house). He never paid a penny towards their nursery fees nor any childcare costs over the years (I’ve always had to sort out childcare over the holidays). He pays minimum legal maintenance each week (£60) and thinks that he is wonderful doing this. I am constantly saving to buy DDs clothing, shoes, days out (pre COVID) school things, toys etc. He has £200 per week to himself as he pays no rent/mortgage, council tax or bills. He is extremely narcissistic (his mother has always done everything for him/run around him all his life) and he thinks he is Mr Wonderful by buying gifts for DDs birthdays, Xmas and Easter.
I just feel so fed up of the hypocrisy sometimes that he pretends to be a fantastic parent whereas in reality he does zero work (he can’t be bothered to do any parenting at all just Disney dad stuff - on a Saturday taking them for lunch for fast food/buying a cheap toy) and pays basic legal maintenance.
Will my DDs see him for what he is when they get older and know who was actually there for them day in day out doing all the donkey work? Am I unreasonable to feel this way? Thank-you if you’ve read this far! Sorry for ranting! I just feel so fed up with it all.