For 2nd child to have my name?

[shampoobar]

Backstory is me and my ex partner have a 2 year old, our DD has his surname.
In October after a long talk we decided to give a relationship a go after becoming closer during lockdown (he moved in with us so that he could see our daughter without breaking rules as he lives in another country)
I'm on the implant but fell pregnant and as soon as i found out he left the next morning and I havent heard a word from him since November, his family say he wants nothing to do with us anymore and he's engaged to another woman. It seems very serious between them so I'm not sure that he will contact me again
Now I'm due in a few months and thinking about surnames, would it be strange to give my 2nd child my name although he shares the same father as his sister? Should i give my 2nd child his fathers name although he doesnt want anything to do with the child? Feel really stuck as I don't know what to do for the best.

YABU - His surname

YANBU - My surname

Your name your name your name.

Name your baby whatever you like. Congratulations x

@VettiyaIruken

Are you in England? If so I don't think you can give his surname unless he's there because you aren't married.

Not that you should anyway imo.

Of course you can. But you shouldn't.

@shampoobar

Is it possible i can change my eldest surname without his permission?

Not if he has parental responsibility. Is he on the birth certificate?

Really? I thought the father had to be present if not married. Every day's a school day!

He has to be present to be ON the birth certificate not to give the child his name. And for all those screaming change your older ones name, If he is on the BC she can only do that with permission from him which trust me most men don’t willingly give. Even the ones that aren’t involved

Ah, I'm with you.
Thanks.

@VettiyaIruken

Are you in England? If so I don't think you can give his surname unless he's there because you aren't married.

Not that you should anyway imo.

You can give a child any surname you want

@SatsumasOrClementines

This is the easiest answer in the world, why are you stuck? Give them both your surname.

This^

@shampoobar

Is it possible i can change my eldest surname without his permission?

You might not be able to change it formally but you can have them 'known as' so on nursery and school stuff they have your name. Once the child is old enough they'll be able to change it formally themselves.

Legally you can call yourself any name you like as long as you aren't being fraudulent.

Just echoing the choir here your name and change your older DDs too (either "known as" or legally) congratulations and sorry your ex is such a cunt

Traditionally the baby is given the mothers surname. It’s only if they are married that the husbands name is used. As you aren’t married use yours.